Monday, January 5, 2009

Put your own oxygen mask first

they say when you travel on airlines
Its sooo true for the mom of an autie as well . Its very easy for us autie moms to put ourselves last. Indeed we are told over and over again - that if we were to give our child all the hours of "engagement"possibe they would in fact stp having a diabilty
What a burden this is.
I question this hypthesis now- becasue the corollary which is insidiously whispered in our ears is this "if they dont recover its your fault" This while inspiring and energising at some level - is pure poison at another level.
There are many paths into Autismland and many different versions of Autism Land. And some will leave this land with/without work , and some wont and some wont need/want to.
Anyway the point I am making is that our breed -- autie moms - needs to quit being so hard on ourselves . Parent therapy constant engagement , special diets make our life so much harder. The last thing we need is that nagging guilty voice - we all know what I am talking about

The days when I am depleted are so hard on my son. This past week has been wonderful with some friends visiting us from another more carefree time. But it was also extraordinarily busy
This weekend was another excruciating litany of chores
I even found myself snapping and yelling at R yesterday . So ashamed. He just looked so sad
He woke up with a fever.
Anyway today evening I just lounged with R on the couch and we were both happy as bugs. R had fever and I was dead tired ( did not sleep a wink last night )
But we were still happy

Wishing all of you lots of oxygen in your life


danette said...

This is so true, thanks for the reminder :).

Hope R is feeling better and you are able to get some rest!

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled across your blog...can't remember how, I have so many windows open!! What a good reminder. I have realized recently that sometimes I have to take care of me first and that it's NOT selfish because I must be able to keep on if I'm going to be of any help to my son.

Þorgerður said...

You have a wonderful perspective on life. I too do floortime and am opting for ABA preeschool training. Still I want the floortime method to be the overall parenting style. It makes so much sense.
I have been looking through interesting blogs trying to learn from others. But you are right, what matters is less looking and more dooing.
Greetings from Iceland

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