Sunday, October 14, 2012

Being Present : A week in my life

I think when I am old ,  I will look back on these years as "The Great Famine of Time "

A new job , a longer commute, a tiny kitchen, none of my efficiency gadgets ,  no weekend home therapists

So that I also don't look back on this era as the years my life happened while I was doing other things, I am developing new coping mechanisms

Some of these are relatively simple ones - like my hour in the car battling traffic , is repositioned as "me time" . I listen to an audio book ( Ruth Rendell 's "Road Rage is what I re-reading right now )  drink a latte ( that I make at home) on my way in and sparkling water on my way out

We are cooking about 3 times a week ( instead of on the weekend ) as temporary housing means we don't have all our gadgets

We have changed our plan to live in a particular area and are buying a house that will be 10 minutes from work and school ( so the commute problem will in 3 weeks be a thing of the past )

But the most important thing is being present

I think a lot of time my stress is simply accelerated by me thinking of what I need to do next

The biggest part of it is  being where you are


Making it a neurological habit

And the second is journaling it

Here is a week in my life


On Saturday,I got someone to take R to the park and play with him -

It was such a peaceful 2 hours

There is this Hispanic woman who lives in our apartment complex - she is very sweet
She was making balloons for kids at one of those apartment socials

- when I whispered to her that she should not be offended if Rohan does not answer her questions as he is autistic and she said that she also does not speak ( English ) very well as she is Mexican
This really won my heart

Plus because of her language problem , she uses English and also gestures for each thing which is great

R comes back - we eat lunch and go shopping

We have to buy R his October Wii product and he wants a pink Wii Remote

We buy it but we don't let him open it as he needs to learn to wait and I get a real gift as R decides to manipulate
After several "Can I open the pink wii remote?" go inheeded - he says to me
"I love you mama... can I open the Wii remote ?"


We go to the library where R is delighted to find Welcome Books and he talks incessantly of his beloved Miss gypsi

We also go the gorgeous park( though the ceaseless rain has started )  - where we make a new Friend "Miss Harriet".
How blue are these waters?

A golden Lab  is lost in the park and we are trying to call the owner to come and get her

I think Miss Harriet is lonely ( aren't we all ?) and we have a lovely chat . We are newcomers and she has lived in PNW for 70 years . She was a United Airline attendant

Everybody has a story

She has three grown up kids ( 2 of them "surprises")


Though the incessant rain has started , I think its still quite beautiful
Despite the rain R and I still go to the park - I get quite misty when I read these park benches and think of my Irish bloggy friends
R is so excited that DH  has got his face paint ( though he really wants face markers )
Can you see his hands move ?
And then the quick run to the bathroom to work on his face

I feel I learn so much about R's world by just observing what interests him . Like his search history
Like the way he has discovered that the world looks different with glasses and without
Along with all the stress of the moving has come some tears and many fixations ( this times its elevators ) . A lot of asking for things he knows he will get a "no " to ( just to have a good cry )
But I am still very proud of him for his great adaptability


We have his IEP meeting early this morning and have to leave early though R is reluctant to wake up

- R sits in this IEP as his class has not started yet

On the plus side , I am rather impressed with his teacher as she has very accurately defined all his strengths and opportunities.

On the minus side, OMG there are so many opportunities

These last few months , I have been so distracted by the move , that I have forgotten a lot of the autie mum stuff:-(

R is very very distracted in the evening when I get home from work

We do the stairs and elevator ( his current obsession )

At bedtime though, I tell him that his teacher "Mrs S" really likes him .

OMG he cries and cries

How did I forget that we talked about his strengths and weaknesses in front of him !

I cry too

I snuggle him a lot and I apologize to him and I tell him that he is the best child in the world and I am lucky to be his mum

I believe this 100%


DH is going to India tmrw for his high school reunion

So much of a team are we that I do not know a million things to do . So we run around getting our groceries done , changing the wipers of my car etc

R fawns on all the vegetables ( owing to Veggie tales ) I certainly wish this would extend to eating them but it stops there

It is symbiotic parasitism though - DH too will still text me asking me what he should eat for lunch  ( even though all our meals are prepared and kept in the frig )


R is super clingy with DH
But then when the time comes for DH to go to the taxi - he asks and asks for his babysitter to come and get him and is bursting into tears every few minutes

I realize that he really does not want to see DH go (- he is so much my son -  I am the queen of denial as well ) and luckily Judith is free so she comes by and takes him to the Mall play area ( from where he comes back later with a balloon )

Mis Judith tells me she just loves him - and does not mind that he wanted to be carried a lot

Even though he Is 7 , he is still such a baby sometimes

But like everything about him , I enjoy this too as I feel like we get to enjoy a babyhood in slow motion

And this was a week in my life dear friends

By writing about this week and being present in my life, its a week that is now saved and can be enjoyed later :-)

Happy Sunday to you too


Monday, October 1, 2012

Settling in

My dear friends

So we changed everything at the beginning of this month and we are getting to the end of it

How has it all been

On the whole pretty good

There is all the stuff and hassle that starting over brings.

But it was expected

The new will become routine.

I am very busy at work settling into a new culture and a new way of doing things and a really really fast pace
For instance its not uncommon to check your phone and find a 100 new emails in your inbox:-) and 19 new meeting notices !!

They do some lovely things as well - this year the employees are trying to raise 100 million dollars for charity ( and the company matches it !!!)

For instance the second week I am here - we are given the day off to spend a day at the home for elderly and disabled

I am a fortune teller and use flash cards to tell rather imaginative fortunes

Its a lovely day

To be with people who have so much pain in their life and who still soldier on - many of them so cheerfully really fills your heart

On my birthday, I am in my office till 8.30 - buts its still a wonderful one , since DH comes to the office with some flowers and candy.

And we still go to dinner for Pizza and Gelato

DH is very very busy as well with getting mortgage etc all done for buying a new house

The new house( which we will move into in October end )  is quite lovely and has all the things we need

  1. Place for sensory Therapy Room
  2. Close to a park
  3. Close to my office ( just 3 miles )
  4. Close to R's school
We are trying to minimize all the irritations that commuting brings to life

R is doing quite well - he likes his new ST and OT and his new ABA therapist( though of course we miss our older therapist team like an ache )

I miss my office as well and I have made a little shrine to it in my office here

While we miss our small southern town so much, there are so many lovely things here
For instance , super kind people

Since we are in downtown , we often have a chance to go to festivals - and R is obsessed with Face paintings and balloons

OMG people go out of their way to be nice and accommodating when I say to them that he has Autism
R is doing quite well

He is till more tantrummy and weepy sometimes so we know that his inner world is a little unsettled

But despite it , he is also blossoming

I notice him noticing other kids

Here another kid is trying to get my attention . Since R is a jealous cat , its no surprise that he tries to get me away from the child
But what IS surprising that he tries to get my attention by doing what the other kid did

The weather is glorious almost every single day and we spend so much time outside in the Downtown park

Seeing the sky - There is a lovely light in the Pacific North West

Watching the moon come up

Watching the ducks
I think the beauty of this place is so therapeautic, that each day I feel all the stress of all the changes fading away

For what is more constant than the forests and the lakes

And the  mountains ( can you see Rainier in the background)
"A cloud moved close.. a tree swayed over water and a voice said .. stay"
Thomas Roethke

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