Last night I return after the week on the road
R looks at me stunned ( I have asked DH to not write me in on R's schedule - in case I am delayed )
He then tries to pick up the threads where we left them
Makes me sing all of our songs
Deck the halls etc
Slowly trying to take in that I am really there
I used to wonder earlier why he rushed up to me joyfully every evening after work -lifting his arms to be picked up, covering my face with kisses
But needed to somehow adjust when I return after a work trip
I used to wonder if he somehow had become used to being without me and that he had not missed me
But nowI know that the fact that he needs this sort of buffer zone before he fully connects - means the opposite
It means he had missed me too much
I ask him "Shee with Mother " ( mommy do bedtime )
He answers solemnly - "Ess" ( yes )
As I do our familiar bedtime routine - which now incorporates Pablo and Diego - he suddenly looks at me sadly - his face crumples - and the tears start
I hold him close and tell him that though I travel - I take him with me everywhere in my heart
And I do
As he finally drifts off into a deep sleep ( sleeping for the next 12 hours ) I look at his slight sleeping form in the half light and thank god for the giving me this enchanting child
Melody asks us to share a truth that we feel in our heart today
And the truth - is that I feel there never was a mother more loved
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