Monday, May 24, 2010

W/O May 17 Bits and Pieces

I have not had any time to write these past few days  so here are just some bits and pieces

School and Summer plans

School Is over .

We have a program on for summer with Speech , ABA and some pretend play and hopefully OT - but not too much -

Also I find that in the Summer due to people taking vacations and such the schedule gets even slacker than normal

R is on a bit of a plateau - but like his therapist reminded me he always flatlines a little bit before having another developmental leap so I am trying to be patient

Example he will write things on the side of a bathtub ( here he has written 5 little monkeys )  but wont play word games with me

His gran who loves him to bits asked me the other day about  how much autism R has ?

Her close friend has 3 grand kids ( all girls - all with autism )

She had spoken to her on the phone recently - they are now 11 and 13 and 2 of them no longer test on the spectrum

I suppose she thinks R will be the same ( and he may of course )
But I answered honestly that R has a lot of autism - of course he also has many many strengths which will serve him very well
I think a lot of the Autism game is set up with two options in mind as success criteria  -
One is recovery ,
Second other is internalizing a belief that Autism in itself is a good thing
DH and I are now in the stage when we simply dont think in those terms anymore
Its  all about having a happy and contended present(  and I would argue that we have a very fortunate life- full of love and gratitude). And about making sure that R has the best shot at a happy and independent future.
Still we are in a very different part of our Autism Journey  than R's extended family
Is simply mad these days .. gone are the days where I had time to take for lunch.
I am only getting this time to blog ( after a long day of a work trip  ) as I am in a hotel ( missing DH and R quite dreadully as the last time I had stayed at this W - they were here with me )
I am not complaining about work though -
I love research - 80% of the job is back-breaking hard work but the 20% makes it all worthwhile -
I love psychology -
I often wonder at all the dramas that play out in people's homes. 
Sometimes when I have my researcher hat on - neighbourhoods look like dollhouses
If I could lift the roof of each house - what story would it contain?
If ghosts exist - do they enjoy being able to see these stories or do they wander about wraith like disinterested 
Do you wonder?
Trip To Athens, GA
We take a weekend trip to Athens GA - where both DH and I have graduated from ( many years ago )
We wander around campus taking pictures
R sits by the fountain and has a great time
At the end of the day after I have put R to bed - MIL stays with him and DH and I go out for  dinner
There sitting on  chairs on a restaurant that has  pavement seating in downtown over wine and tapas - I feel all my weariness slipping away
These   couple of hour is literally the best bits I have had in a long time
Bad picture but its with UGA so I had to put it up !
when we get back MIL tells us that R has been  waking up every 30 minutes whining and I snuggle him and go to sleep with him
Here is one ambitious plan for the summer
R is to sleep by himself !!!!
We have bought a bed - wish us luck !!!( picture from IKEA store - we will obviously have a more R-preferred theme )


Lisa said...

I love that image of R by the water, he's so dang adorable!

A date with just adults? You and husband? I love when we get to do that. I always hold Mr. Pedersen's hand and I want to burst with excitement because it's just the two of us. Those dates are few and far in between but that's what makes them special!

I love the bed!

Territory Mom said...

It took me awhile to learn that each house holds its own secrets. To me it is amazing that R can spell like that, we have a long way to go. My son made an easy transition our of our bed. Now after you lay down with him and read a story you have to get out of the bed immediately so he can go to sleep. He needs a lot of room.

robin said...

I love going out with my hubby on those few and far between occasions. I particularly love those times when we go eat out somewhere and don't have to worry about sharing food or keeping the kiddos quiet, lol! Good luck with the bed transitioning this summer! We won't try that anytime soon...they both just stay in our room at this point...but it's definitely something to look forward to!

Þorgerður said...

I am sure the ghosts care. :)
Someone described a plateau to me as the little step forward the runner makes until he takes off running.

I hope you have a delightful summer and long sleepy nights said...

good luck with the bed and I hear you on the dollhoses, I wonder the saem thing sometimes.

Kris said...

I could so relate to your comment that for many people it is important to either 1. recover from autism or 2. Accept autism as a good thing. I simply love your perspective of being content with where you are today. I strive for that myself despite the days of panic.

I agree with Territory Mom - R's spelling is AMAZING!! Truly!

Anonymous said...

Best of luck on the independent sleeping! No doubt your family will succeed on this next goal.

How you place yourself among others in their journey w/ autism is very healthy.


Brenda Rothman (Mama Be Good) said...

I LOVE R's new glasses, at least new from the last photo I saw. And I'm so glad you guys took a trip and were able to go out. Alone. Together.

Oh, the sleeping alone. I have fantasized about getting an Ikea bed, too. And having Jack sleep by himself. Sigh. Looking forward to hearing about your experiment!

Kim said...

"Its all about having a happy and contended present( and I would argue that we have a very fortunate life- full of love and gratitude). And about making sure that R has the best shot at a happy and independent future."

You have a wonderful spirit. I just love how you put this. It's hard when the extended family does not have the same view--but I think many of them will one day.

Hooray for getting out on a date!

Mia @ Finding Balance said...

Date?!?!? What does that mean exactly? I don't think I remember those. LOL. Glad you were able to!

Sounds like he is doing his own version of 'word games'....they teach us much.

danette said...

Wow - great spelling!

Best of luck with the sleeping alone goal... we need to work on getting Bitty to go to bed in his actual bed, he prefers to fall asleep on the couch (at least he no longer needs someone to be sitting right there with him). Once he's been asleep for a while we can carry him up to his bed and there's about a 50/50 chance that he'll sleep there all night versus waking up to find him in our bed. The thing is he is getting much too heavy to carry up to bed every night, so pretty soon he is either going to have to start going to bed in his bed, or sleep on the couch all night!

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