Saturday, May 15, 2010

SOOC Saturday :The beautiful people

On the day you find out that your child has special needs

Its like you have been forever banished from the land of the beautiful people

( “Beautiful people “ is a term coined by my friend D – these are people with “Normal "lives - those with the 2 kids who excel in school and soccer, the picket fence, the SUV,  the doting husband )

The day that you find out , cleaves you from the rest of the world, as sure as if a line had been drawn and a giant hand picked you up and  put you on the outside of that line

Now there is a them

And there is a us

We cope in the ways we cope

We reincarnate several times

Warrior mum

Therapist mom

Pioneer mom

Team Manager Mom

Sad mom

Guilty Mom

Scared Mom

Some time we are all of these moms ( or dads)

But all the time, we are on our own periphery, separate from them

The inner circle of the beautiful moms

Seemingly without a care. ( though I know beautiful people- and they all have many cares- just different ones)

And we wonder at how one word could be so big

That, with that one thing added to your identity – mother to a special needs child - you would be different forever

But then at some point in our journey, if you are lucky you start to look at our life with our own eyes.

You see the beauty of the child you do have

The force of the love your child has for you  frees you to see the loveliness of your life


If you are luckier still - you get the eyes of wonder

The eyes that look for each little step and celebrate it and take nothing for granted

And then,  one day, if you are the luckiest you stop

See yourself in the mirror

Catch your life reflected back at you

Realize with surprise

That you are the beautiful people



We are perishing for a lack of wonder………………… not for a lack of wonders”

GK Chesterton

Melody asks us to share the love this weekend at Slurping Life. Please do join her to meet her and other wonderful bloggers who share a slice of their lives

33 comments:

Caroline (Frogmum) said...

Lovely post ~ and I love the shot of R kissing you :)

Brenda said...

Yes! Exactly, yes!

JoyMama said...

Beautiful post from a beautiful mama! :-)

Lisa said...

We are beautiful Moms with beautiful children.
Children who have taught us every moment and second count.

Great post K, and I LOVE that last image of you both!

Kris said...

Just beautiful. The day Alex went for the first time one the special ed bus I felt "different", I felt the eyes of the neighbors on us and the bus. Having two NT kids before him made me even more aware of the "us" and "them". However, I am blessed to see and truly appreciate the miracle of the everyday accomplishments - he is talking!, he is playing tag with other kids!, etc. All the things others take for granted, we know how precious and special they are! And our kids work harder than all those other kids combined. Great photos!!

Tara R. said...

Yes! This is it exactly. Beautifully written...

Marvelous Mommy said...

Great post! Visiting from the SOOC Linky!

www.marvelousmommy.com

Þorgerður said...

Hey. Beautiful mom. Writing beautifully as always.

Sandra Collins said...

visiting from SOOC
your post made me cry so beautifully written you are a beautiful person

Mr. Daddy said...

"Your life is what your thoughts make it."
Marcus Aurelius

It would seem that you have made a beautiful life K....

Keep thinking those beautiful thoughts....

loved the post.

korin said...

Beautiful post. Thank you.

Korin
www.mamazen.typepad.com

rickismom said...

Love the first photo- the "frame" of the oval!

I suspct that very few of the "beautiful" people really have it all. We SO much don't know what gioes on in the lives of others.

We are all as beautiful as our deeds.

Arizaphale said...

What a sensational post. Thank you so much for reflecting so beautifully. Oh and your 'blocks' background is delicious!!!!
Great photo at the end of the two of you.....

SoCo mom said...

Yes, yes, and yes! This has been a recurring theme in my life. It can be painful, but it's REAL.

I always enjoy your insightful posts, and thanks for sharing those beautiful pics of you and R.

Niksmom said...

Ah, you've done it again, my friend. You've made me teary with your beautiful words and exquisite outlook. The photos are equally beautiful...they show the beauty radiating from within.

Li said...

This reminds me of the time I was having breakfast with a friend and my then two-year-old son. At the table next to us was woman and her son, about 4 or 5 years old. My son sat perfectly quietly in my lap while her son tantrumed and shrieked, and the mom kept staring over at our table with a look of heartfelt longing, as if to say, "Why can't my son be so well-behaved?" But what she didn't know was that my son had just been diagnosed with apraxia and couldn't speak at all at that point.

You may think of other people as the "beautiful people" but you never know what burdens they may be carrying. And the so-called burdened people--you don't know what joys they have in their lives. Thank you again for another wonderful essay.

lifebythecreek said...

How true is that? So many of "the beautiful people" are living a lie; they are as empty as a tomb. What freedom you've found, to realize that the life you are living is the life you are meant to live; once you get that straight, you no longer have to search but rather you can LIVE. Beautiful... the pictures, the post, and YOU!

Rachel said...

Beautiful you are, my friend!

What a stunning post.

Can I say that from my perspective, I know exactly how that divide feels.

And it astonishes me time and again, how often those original "beautiful" people are so very unhappy.

When walking from the hospital with my sister after losing Gracie, I realized suddenly that we looked no different from the outside, but had just experienced a sorrow that threatened to overwhelm our world. And I wondered how many others were silently dealing with things while we assumed they were "beautiful" and nothing but.

How many people I know that would envy you and your home full of love! :)

shirley said...

Thank you for the thought provoking post. I love that last last picture - just beautiful.

danette said...

I love this! Those are such sweet pictures too :)

Bonsky said...

K-

How true and what a wonderful thought to start my Monday morning! Every child is a beautiful child and every mom can be a beautiful mom if she opens her eyes and heart. So often in the NT child world I get frustrated with moms who fuss over the stupidest things and don't cherish what they have. They will talk for hours about the right clothes, the right soccer club, the right car, whether or not their child was invited to the right party without ever celebrating who their child truly is. It makes me bite my lip (like the good southern girl I have become) as I sit at some school function and listening to them ramble on. I often tell my children to focus on what is and not what isn't. If not, they will never truly be satisfied with whatever gifts they have and the life they are meant to live. For me, everyday I am grateful for what I have and the super cool people who are my children (even on a cranky Monday morning when they bark like junkyard dogs). Today I will smile knowing that I am a beautiful mom:) Thanks for the the beautiful post.

B

robin said...

Beautiful insight from a beautiful woman, wife and mom. :)

Kim said...

Lovely and so true. Great post.

Julie said...

I love your writing. Thanks for being one of the most beautiful people I know =)

TherExtras said...

Hello, Beautiful!

Thank you for your beautiful writing.

Barbara

Casdok said...

Absolutly!!

CC said...

wonderful!

Darcy said...

Great post, K!

Alysia said...

Great post! So glad I found this. I have felt this many times - my son was diagnosed halfway through his first preschool year, so I have felt the eyes of those who I used to wait with at preschool drop off now watch me bring him to a different door for his new class, and avert their eyes when I walk by.
But what I have found is that the moms (and dads) of the kids in his new class are an amazing and inspiring group of people - people who "get me", the truly beautiful people in my life. I can't wait to share this with them. Thank you.
Alysia
http://trydefyinggravity.wordpress.com/

Mia @ Finding Balance said...

Brought tears to my eyes. I'll be posting something (kinda) related later next week.

Beautifully said. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Aloha i am new to this, I came upon this chat board I find It very helpful & it's helped me tons. I hope to give something back & assist others like its helped me.

Thanks Everyone, See Ya Around.

Anonymous said...

too good that one...... nobody has the perfect world and every body has it. It is your insight that makes it so and I am glad you have such a great insight... IT will always keep you beautiful

Anonymous said...

too good that one...... nobody has the perfect world and every body has it. It is your insight that makes it so and I am glad you have such a great insight... IT will always keep you beautiful

Floortime Lite Mama

On my life as the mother of an adorable 5 year old with Autism and Apraxia