On the day you find out that your child has special needs
Its like you have been forever banished from the land of the beautiful people
( “Beautiful people “ is a term coined by my friend D – these are people with “Normal "lives - those with the 2 kids who excel in school and soccer, the picket fence, the SUV, the doting husband )
The day that you find out , cleaves you from the rest of the world, as sure as if a line had been drawn and a giant hand picked you up and put you on the outside of that line
Now there is a them
And there is a us
We cope in the ways we cope
We reincarnate several times
Team Manager Mom
Some time we are all of these moms ( or dads)
But all the time, we are on our own periphery, separate from them
The inner circle of the beautiful moms
Seemingly without a care. ( though I know beautiful people- and they all have many cares- just different ones)
And we wonder at how one word could be so big
That, with that one thing added to your identity – mother to a special needs child - you would be different forever
But then at some point in our journey, if you are lucky you start to look at our life with our own eyes.
You see the beauty of the child you do have
The force of the love your child has for you frees you to see the loveliness of your life
If you are luckier still - you get the eyes of wonder
The eyes that look for each little step and celebrate it and take nothing for granted
And then, one day, if you are the luckiest you stop
See yourself in the mirror
Catch your life reflected back at you
Realize with surprise
That you are the beautiful people
“We are perishing for a lack of wonder………………… not for a lack of wonders”
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