Monday, November 16, 2009

A special birthday for a special boy

I do NOT  think R really enjoyed his first 4 birthdays .

This had us sad because  birthdays are so important and we really want R to enjoy them

Birthday 1 - we did a birthday party with a friend - who also had a baby on the exact same day as R  - R seemed stressed

Birthday 2 - Thought he would enjoy more if we had  a party at our place - R clung to me all evening and ignored everybody

Birthday 3 - we gave up on the drama - but my mum was visiting and not feeling well so we took her to the doctor's. Fortunately she was fine but we were too exhausted to do anything special

Birthday 4 - my MIL was here. We bought lots of presents for R which he sort of liked and sort of ignored- Plus I had gone for the Floortime conference in DC and we drove back that day( 500 miles from DC)

Birthday 5-  But this year on his fifth birthday - I think we finally got it right !. ( Rachel he was enchanted with the gifts this time )

There are two reasons for why it worked

1. We finally figured out what to do
2. He was finally ready to enjoy it .

First, we started telling him about his birthday almost a month in advance

One very interesting thing we noticed is that he has been researching what a birthday is on the internet this past month .

Its so interesting that at the age of 5 he is already a pro at looking for  info on the internet ( another thing we caught his researching is potty training - which he spells as "poddy")

 He has been looking for you-tube clips on birthdays  all this month

He has also been asking to see the TV shows that  have birthdays in them - like "The Birthday Machine" of Little Einstein

We asked his teacher to do a little birthday party for him and we send cake- DH iced it beautifully and wrote  a message on it -

This is a BIG hit  (  all the you-tube clips he was watching appear to have cake  featured as a key element in the birthday- so we really lived up to his expectations there )

His teacher is a darling and was more than happy to do this. Apparently his birthday party was a grand success

We got him a card shaped as 5 as well as a candle in the shape of 5 - which made him just ecstatic.To his mind this is not only logical but also includes his great love - numbers!

Even the presents we bought were all thoughtfully selected to be custom to his taste

The box of Dum Dums ( we bought a HUGE bag and I sorted through them all and picked out all the Blue Raspberry ones and the cherry ones which are his favorite ).

Plus the box which is in the shape of a present that is shown in most children videos - was a big hit

The other big hit was the furry ball

We also got him a scooter that he has been eyeing and the giant piano that we play with feet .

These - the more big ticket items have been met with lukewarm success. But his grandparents wanted us to buy some grand presents on their behalf. And so we did

Finally we ended with dinner at McDonalds . It was Monday night so the restaurant ( and we have a really nice McDOnalds next to us ) was empty so we let R climb all over his chair as we were not bothering anyone !

I think the three of us had the best birthday possible

It seems to me that - its like this with all of our life.

We have to abandon all the ideas of how things are  supposed to be.

We have to figure out what works for us and we have to courageously and single-mindedly pursue our happiness - un-distracted by any preconceived notions

Life's scenic route has come without a road map

But we are enjoying the ride


All About the Bailey's said...

So sweet. I'm happy to know he enjoyed his Birthday so much.

Anonymous said...

Hooray for getting it right! It's terrific that you know him so well.

Rachel said...

I am thrilled to learn he had a marvelous birthday!

And I am floored to realize that he is Googling items on the internet... his intelligence is quite boggling! I love that it's not just 'smarts', but a thirst to know more.

Congratulations you beautiful 5-year old!

Laura said...

Birthday rock!

Niksmom said...

What a delightful post! I am so impressed that R is already searching the internet for information. WOW!

It sounds like you all really hit the "sweet spot" on this birthday. Congratulations.

And the last few sentences? REALLY hit home with me as I struggle with Nik's upcoming SIXTH birthday. It feels so big yet the gaps in where he is versus his peers feels so huge some days. I need to focus on what's right for him for us right now and try to let the rest go. Seems so much harder around birthdays. said...

happy birthday and yeah for thinking outside the box and getting the right box as well!

Julie said...

"We have to abandon all the ideas of how things are supposed to be."

So true. How easier things would be if we learned that early on! =)

I'm SO glad R had a wonderful birthday! I love how he researched it!! =D

TJ said...

Aah, K, I removed your blog as my home page a few weeks ago when we were having computer trouble and am catching up tonight for the first time in a while.

I am teary over here knowing that R enjoyed his birthday so, and I am so very impressed that he was reasearching birthdays on his own. OMG. He is an angel.

And I still adore you. <3

robin said...

I love that you guys made his day wonderful! Glad he enjoyed it and was not stressed. I too think it's amazing that he has been researching it. I noticed the list of what to expect too next to him as he went through the process. WTG!!

Trish said...

I just wanted to say how proud I am of you for getting to this point, and how glad I am that it was a wonderful birthday.

It's great when home and family can be your safe place!

shirin said...

wow....googling the the age of 5..that amazing K...i envision the modern Einstein in R.

danette said...

Happy (belated) birthday to R!!! I'm so glad he enjoyed it :). How cute that he was looking up information on birthdays.

Kudos to you for being flexible and sensitive to his needs.

Janmomof2 said...

I'm glad you had a great birthday, the way the birthday boy enjoyed it most <3

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