Thursday, November 5, 2009

And he is back

R has chosen his sweatshirt

( I am proud to see he chooses his trendy  GAP over his other options  - he is my son- he instinctively chooses better brands -GAP over Osh Kosh,  target over wal-mart, real crocs etc. DH is the opposite of me and R and we get teased a lot for this  )

He runs his finger  over the logo on my sweatshirt

Tommy he reads ( for Tommy Hilfiger )

He puts his hand on my stomach

And looks up at me puzzled

I interpret his look correctly  and say " that means tummy not tommy "( for to him this is mislabeling as the word is written over my chest )

Its like this

All evening

Little conversations

Constantly pulling my face to him so he can kiss my cheeks and forehead.

Stroking my hair

He makes me sing songs.

Corrects me when I do an action incorrectly 

Urges me to bury him in piles of  leaves

His cold is leaving 

And he is back

Oh how marvelous to see him be himself again!

Happiness is washing over  me like a great tide.

"Its ridiculous how much we love our children" said one of my friends the other day " they will never know"

And its the truth

Far beyond any DSM IV criteria,  for me the measure of good times with R ,  are his "with-it-ness, his connectedness  and most of all his happy glow

When these are present - I can look askance at all the doom and gloom predictions that are handed to Autie parents! ( like the Buddhist saying goes "no one can look at a seed and say which one will grow and which wont ")

When these are not there, I am run with anxiety

I know there will be bad times again in the future

But for now

God's in heaven and all is right in my world.

15 comments:

goodfountain said...

I'm very happy to read this!

Niksmom said...

So glad R is feeling better and back to his usual self. As for them not knowing how much we love them? They will know when theyu become parents; they will know.

Julie said...

I'm so happy to hear that you are (both!) doing better!

Love this:
"no one can look at a seed and say which one will grow and which wont "

And what an adorable picture of him in your sidebar!!! =)

Have a great day, K!!

Rachel said...

delighted to read this! so glad for his health and his affectionate desire for your company!

Rachel said...

And sorry to say - the word on my shirt would be TUMMY :)

Territory Mom said...

Wonderful news!!

rhemashope said...

I love this post. Love it. I love his picture. I love the way he thinks - tummy, tommy, WOW.

The two of you have a beautiful relationship.

Sande said...

What a fantastic 'grass roots' truth. We love the relationship, to see response from another toward us, to be reflected through anothers perception regardless of our flavor.

Flatly said, just to enjoy each God and each other. None other that what He created us for

Laura said...

what a beautiful post...those little moments are the best. So hard to describe the essence but you know it when it's there.

J. said...

great to hear... amazing what a difference a little time can make, have great weekend!

Darcy said...

When he gets a little older, Auntie D will be taking him shopping on fifth avenue, NY.

Mr. Daddy said...

glad to read that it is better...

and all is right with your world :o)

Mia said...

I've found my son tonight too. I all but begged for him to come back tomorrow. I know he won't. But I'll take tonight.

I'm glad you're getting him back and that he's feeling better.

lonestar said...

K, I am sooo happy to read this! LOL about "Tommy" / "tummy", how cute :). If Bitty saw "Tommy" on my shirt he'd be looking for trains (he calls Thomas "Tommy"). Perhaps R could share some of his fashion sense with Bitty? ;)

That last part has me in tears... I caught a little glimpse of the "real" Bearhug today - happy, carefree, relaxed, silly. Not plagued by anger or sadness. It was beautiful.

I love the picture of R in your sidebar, so adorable!

Online Printing Company said...

Love the last line... :)
I don't exactly know how it feels to be a parent, since I am not one. But I wonder if that's how my parents still feel towards us...

Floortime Lite Mama

On my life as the mother of an adorable 5 year old with Autism and Apraxia