R has chosen his sweatshirt
( I am proud to see he chooses his trendy GAP over his other options - he is my son- he instinctively chooses better brands -GAP over Osh Kosh, target over wal-mart, real crocs etc. DH is the opposite of me and R and we get teased a lot for this )
He runs his finger over the logo on my sweatshirt
Tommy he reads ( for Tommy Hilfiger )
He puts his hand on my stomach
And looks up at me puzzled
I interpret his look correctly and say " that means tummy not tommy "( for to him this is mislabeling as the word is written over my chest )
Its like this
All evening
Little conversations
Constantly pulling my face to him so he can kiss my cheeks and forehead.
Stroking my hair
He makes me sing songs.
Corrects me when I do an action incorrectly
Urges me to bury him in piles of leaves
His cold is leaving
And he is back
Oh how marvelous to see him be himself again!
Happiness is washing over me like a great tide.
"Its ridiculous how much we love our children" said one of my friends the other day " they will never know"
And its the truth
Far beyond any DSM IV criteria, for me the measure of good times with R , are his "with-it-ness, his connectedness and most of all his happy glow
When these are present - I can look askance at all the doom and gloom predictions that are handed to Autie parents! ( like the Buddhist saying goes "no one can look at a seed and say which one will grow and which wont ")
When these are not there, I am run with anxiety
I know there will be bad times again in the future
But for now
God's in heaven and all is right in my world.
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15 comments:
I'm very happy to read this!
So glad R is feeling better and back to his usual self. As for them not knowing how much we love them? They will know when theyu become parents; they will know.
I'm so happy to hear that you are (both!) doing better!
Love this:
"no one can look at a seed and say which one will grow and which wont "
And what an adorable picture of him in your sidebar!!! =)
Have a great day, K!!
delighted to read this! so glad for his health and his affectionate desire for your company!
And sorry to say - the word on my shirt would be TUMMY :)
Wonderful news!!
I love this post. Love it. I love his picture. I love the way he thinks - tummy, tommy, WOW.
The two of you have a beautiful relationship.
What a fantastic 'grass roots' truth. We love the relationship, to see response from another toward us, to be reflected through anothers perception regardless of our flavor.
Flatly said, just to enjoy each God and each other. None other that what He created us for
what a beautiful post...those little moments are the best. So hard to describe the essence but you know it when it's there.
great to hear... amazing what a difference a little time can make, have great weekend!
When he gets a little older, Auntie D will be taking him shopping on fifth avenue, NY.
glad to read that it is better...
and all is right with your world :o)
I've found my son tonight too. I all but begged for him to come back tomorrow. I know he won't. But I'll take tonight.
I'm glad you're getting him back and that he's feeling better.
K, I am sooo happy to read this! LOL about "Tommy" / "tummy", how cute :). If Bitty saw "Tommy" on my shirt he'd be looking for trains (he calls Thomas "Tommy"). Perhaps R could share some of his fashion sense with Bitty? ;)
That last part has me in tears... I caught a little glimpse of the "real" Bearhug today - happy, carefree, relaxed, silly. Not plagued by anger or sadness. It was beautiful.
I love the picture of R in your sidebar, so adorable!
Love the last line... :)
I don't exactly know how it feels to be a parent, since I am not one. But I wonder if that's how my parents still feel towards us...
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