Letting Baby Grow up

Lately I have been wondering
Are we holding DS back - Our BCBA was doing the ABLL's with us last Tuesday and we realised how woefully inadequate WE have been in teaching DS life skills- Potty training , feeding skills , dressing skills - you name it - we fail it
In front o f the BCBA we excused this with our cultural difference ( we grew up in India and in India kids are babies into adulthood )
But lately I have been wondering if I actually baby DS in my mind so I can think of him as a baby and then he does not seem so behind in his social stuff
I decided to start with the words and no longer use the term "Baby" with him ( like in the way of cooing nonsense to him - who is Mumma's baby love)
I am struck by how hard it is
First I used to use it a lot - I mean a LOT. And then on top of that I feel disconnected to him - as though I have severed something precious in our relationship
He is still the child that wails outside the bathroom when I am inside
Who pulls me to the sofa for nursies as soon as he sees me
But he is no longer my baby
Which is as it should be
It makes me very sad