Tuesday, December 13, 2011

December & Christmas things

Ahhh we are really getting into the Christmas Spirit


DH  has put up the Christmas lights and he has them  programmed to a remote which he is carrying

In the dark sky ( as the cabin is far away from civilization ) the lights come on like magic

The man can still delight me after 17 years


Christmas Parties 

We go to two Christmas Parties -

R is beyond delighted by Santa - he really really truly believes .

This year, DH     Santa has got him this AMAZING gift - dot to dot books where the dots go up to a THOUSAND in numbers ( I think these books are meant for adults )

Our other Christmas gift( a motorcycle ) lies untouched almost

Plus there is a note  from us  Santa telling R what a good boy he is

R completely believes and Santa is all R can talk about!

He looks at Santa's picture with him again and again and tells me how Santa is hugging R!


Children truly have the eyes of wonder and it is such a gift to be his mum and get the chance to look through R's eyes

In the evening DH and I go to our Christmas party

I dress up ( DH says I embody the spirit of Christmas by looking like a Christmas tree myself - this is not entirely a compliment :-) )



OMG he is so happy to be with his babysitter ( she is his therapist also ) as he loves her - they have dinner at McDonald's ( where his other loved therapist also comes )

How different it was just a few years ago when every time we left him I would make sure my phone was switched on - in case of an emergency

And when we would almost always return to an anxious nervous R

5 minute floortime 


As the year is drawing to an end and I am running shorter and shorter of time,I have started to employ  this concept

If while doing laundry R interrupts me - I drop whatever I am doing to floortime with him for 5 minutes

This observation came to me when i realized how many books I manage to read just by listening to audio books while doing chores

I started to wonder that maybe I need to apply the same principle to another thing that suffers due to lack of time - which is Floortime
 





Neurotypicalness


While social referencing is something that is supposed to be missing in auties , I am noticing a version of that coming up for R

He is really interested in everything I do and will often copy me

He will get on the treadmill after I have been on it

Here he is wearing my gloves after I have finished cleaning the kitchen

You can see the wheels in his mind turning trying to figure out why I wear these gloves

The difference is that it does not occur to him to ask me why I wear the gloves - he tries to figure it out himself - through experimenting

The other thing he uses to understand is google - this too has limitations as his reading comprehension is far from perfect

In this way he misses out on an important source of knowledge


Still I love his curiosity and the emergence of the copying behavior

DH often says that I need to remove 3 years off his age and its very true

Finally I find I can read the "Little People" books to him and he really gets the simple concepts that are not based on facts
( as his preference is really only for Books around Facts - coyotes and foxes right now are his favorite books )
R and I go to the library a lot in the evenings and he often runs straight to the section around fact based books for young readers

Suddenly I noticed how this too has changed - for a LONG time he only wanted to read books about numbers and letters ( literally books with names like "my first book about  numbers" )

But after focusing on reading comprehension this summer suddenly his world has expanded to other books on facts and he never goes to the introductory books on numbers and letters anymore

Subtly he is developing in other areas too - for instance eye contact is not a problem at all any more

R has perfect eye contact now

Dont get me wrong - he has plenty plenty of challenges - right now a particularly difficult one is the obsession around Wii

But I find its critical to focus on the positive aspects



Papa fix it 

There are many things where R's babylike faith and innocence - touch me deeply

One is his faith that his father can fix anything

DH is an engineer and probably also the smartest person I know - so this confidence is pretty justified

The other day R hurt his hand

Now he is a hypochondriac par exellance -
if you comb his hair wrong he bleats "hair hurts"

I try to tell him what a brave boy he is ( while crossing my fingers behind my back as this is a bald lie)

So he hurt his hand the other day - clearly horribly painful though and I found that just his dad telling him that his hand would be okay had the magic effect !!



Trip

We are getting ready for our India  trip 

while I have  been looking forward to meeting my much loved family ...as the time draws near my anxiety over the arduous travel is becoming my predominant

All I am thinking of is R;s food, travel documents etc etc

Then a friend posts an article on Facebook about Business School . In this the author writes


If you treat B-School like an amazing educational experience, chances are you'll get a lot out of it. Just keep your attitude and sense of entitlement in check."
How true this is of life !!

I shift my focus

I shift it the whole purpose of this trip - our wonderful family - and shift attention away from the travel worries

And what a change it is 
 
Because what I  focus on is what grows inside me

My dear friends - its been such and instense three weeks- getting ready for the mother-of-all-trips  and I have really not visited your blogs like I would like to -( Nor are the next three weeks going to be much better . )

I miss you though and I miss knowing what you and your little ones are upto  and am going to catch up as soon as I can




18 comments:

Di said...

R truly is a sweet boy! Have a wonderful holiday with your family. I am sure that it will be a great success!

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

Have a wonderful holiday and safe, beautiful trip! I'll be sending good thoughts along the way!

robin said...

Love the picture of R in the laundry basket! You are strong!! Enjoy your trip to India. Can't wait to hear all about it! I just love your trip summaries, especially from over there!

Julie said...

Enjoy your trip! :D

Yuji said...

Your Christmas lights are beautiful, and somehow seem more authentic in a place like your cabin.

So cute that R believes in Santa. The innocence of young kids is so wonderful!

R reminds me so much of my son with his curiosity and love of fact-based books. My son now enjoys non-fact books, too, but usually only the funny ones, and if they incorporate numbers (365 Penguins), then so much the better.

Hope your holidays are joyful and that you have a wonderful trip. I'll be looking forward to reading all about it.

Lizbeth said...

Take care of you and your family first. I can't imagine how stressful it is to get ready for a huge trip like that. We used really simple social stories to help our son when we went on a long flight and it really took the edge off so he knew what to expect. Good luck with the trip and enjoy your family. I'm so excited for you!

Deb said...

I wish you all the best on your trip. I love, love, love hearing about R's progress. Wonderful!

Kim said...

Have a wonderful trip! I love what you said:

"Because what I focus on is what grows inside me"

Keep that in your mind as you embark. It is going to be wonderful for R, I always look upon travel as expansion for my own little R. It's hard, but the good memories are worth it.

rhemashope said...

You are one beautiful Christmas tree!
Wishing you and DH and R a wonderful holiday and a fun, safe trip. Can't wait to read about your travels!

AutismWonderland said...

I absolutely love that R is excited about Christmas! And I love how much you appreciate it :)

Everytime I read your posts, I always learn something new - your perspective is so helpful for me.

Enjoy your trip and your holiday season!!

TherExtras said...

I will miss you, too.

Heh - our 'little ones' are home from college (!)

Love reading your posts! Thank you! Barbara

jazzygal said...

Oh another lovely catch up post! Cabin looks lovely as do you in your gorgeous green dress. I LOVE the photo of R and therapist, what lovely piece of mind.

One thing that has always amazed me is that while our children can seem to be limited in expressing they can be capable of taking in more than we realise;-)

I hope you enjoy your trip to India.

xx Jazzy

Trish said...

So wonderful to hear of all the good things that have been happening for you.

One thing I recall vividly is Michael carrying around certain number or letter books - often open to a favorite page for weeks! And I remember being so relieved when we could finally enjoy storybooks together - and I know R will just continue to come along at his own pace.

The biggest thing I remember growing up about social referencing is trying to figure everything out on my own by copying others or reading about stuff. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to ask people or why I hesitated to do so even later when I realized that I could, but I remember vowing that I would explain things to my child when I had one so he would not grow up confused.

So my best advice is to keep letting him know he can always ask you anything and until he does, just keep thinking out loud about stuff (the way most people do when they have an infant and are talking to them all the time even though they don't really understand). Because you never know when something you say will fill in a gap that he may not have even known he had.

Kris said...

Such sweet pictures of R!! I loved the comment about taking 3 years off R's age. I often have to remember that about Alex. He is 8 but acts like 6 in most ways. I have to remember that and adjust my expectations.

Sounds like R is doing great!! Social referencing and imitating is HUGE!!!!!!!!!
Hope you have a wonderful trip!!

danette said...

How sweet that R is so into Santa :). Love the pictures, hope ya'll had a Merry Christmas and have a safe and fun trip!

Mr. Daddy said...

So true your statement about the eyes of children:o) reminds me of a quote by Eberhard Arnold.
"Only those who look with the eyes of children can lose themselves in the object of their wonder."

Also so true what you wrote:
"If you treat B-School like an amazing educational experience, chances are you'll get a lot out of it. Just keep your attitude and sense of entitlement in check."
How true this is of life !!

I shift my focus.

There is a Chinese proverb that says: " "If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up where we are headed."

Hope your having a safe trip filled with family love and fun times...
Happy New Years:o)

the walking dead comic said...

I'm sure you had a great Christmas :)

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Wow, so much is happening and so much progress is being made, hope yur enjoying a wonderful trip right now xx

Floortime Lite Mama

On my life as the mother of an adorable 5 year old with Autism and Apraxia