December & Christmas things

Ahhh we are really getting into the Christmas Spirit

DH  has put up the Christmas lights and he has them  programmed to a remote which he is carrying

In the dark sky ( as the cabin is far away from civilization ) the lights come on like magic

The man can still delight me after 17 years

Christmas Parties 

We go to two Christmas Parties -

R is beyond delighted by Santa - he really really truly believes .

This year, DH     Santa has got him this AMAZING gift - dot to dot books where the dots go up to a THOUSAND in numbers ( I think these books are meant for adults )

Our other Christmas gift( a motorcycle ) lies untouched almost

Plus there is a note  from us  Santa telling R what a good boy he is

R completely believes and Santa is all R can talk about!

He looks at Santa's picture with him again and again and tells me how Santa is hugging R!

Children truly have the eyes of wonder and it is such a gift to be his mum and get the chance to look through R's eyes

In the evening DH and I go to our Christmas party

I dress up ( DH says I embody the spirit of Christmas by looking like a Christmas tree myself - this is not entirely a compliment :-) )

OMG he is so happy to be with his babysitter ( she is his therapist also ) as he loves her - they have dinner at McDonald's ( where his other loved therapist also comes )

How different it was just a few years ago when every time we left him I would make sure my phone was switched on - in case of an emergency

And when we would almost always return to an anxious nervous R

5 minute floortime 


As the year is drawing to an end and I am running shorter and shorter of time,I have started to employ  this concept

If while doing laundry R interrupts me - I drop whatever I am doing to floortime with him for 5 minutes

This observation came to me when i realized how many books I manage to read just by listening to audio books while doing chores

I started to wonder that maybe I need to apply the same principle to another thing that suffers due to lack of time - which is Floortime
 

Neurotypicalness


While social referencing is something that is supposed to be missing in auties , I am noticing a version of that coming up for R

He is really interested in everything I do and will often copy me

He will get on the treadmill after I have been on it

Here he is wearing my gloves after I have finished cleaning the kitchen

You can see the wheels in his mind turning trying to figure out why I wear these gloves

The difference is that it does not occur to him to ask me why I wear the gloves - he tries to figure it out himself - through experimenting

The other thing he uses to understand is google - this too has limitations as his reading comprehension is far from perfect

In this way he misses out on an important source of knowledge

Still I love his curiosity and the emergence of the copying behavior

DH often says that I need to remove 3 years off his age and its very true

Finally I find I can read the "Little People" books to him and he really gets the simple concepts that are not based on facts
( as his preference is really only for Books around Facts - coyotes and foxes right now are his favorite books )
R and I go to the library a lot in the evenings and he often runs straight to the section around fact based books for young readers

Suddenly I noticed how this too has changed - for a LONG time he only wanted to read books about numbers and letters ( literally books with names like "my first book about  numbers" )

But after focusing on reading comprehension this summer suddenly his world has expanded to other books on facts and he never goes to the introductory books on numbers and letters anymore

Subtly he is developing in other areas too - for instance eye contact is not a problem at all any more

R has perfect eye contact now

Dont get me wrong - he has plenty plenty of challenges - right now a particularly difficult one is the obsession around Wii

But I find its critical to focus on the positive aspects



Papa fix it 

There are many things where R's babylike faith and innocence - touch me deeply

One is his faith that his father can fix anything

DH is an engineer and probably also the smartest person I know - so this confidence is pretty justified

The other day R hurt his hand

Now he is a hypochondriac par exellance -
if you comb his hair wrong he bleats "hair hurts"

I try to tell him what a brave boy he is ( while crossing my fingers behind my back as this is a bald lie)

So he hurt his hand the other day - clearly horribly painful though and I found that just his dad telling him that his hand would be okay had the magic effect !!



Trip

We are getting ready for our India  trip 

while I have  been looking forward to meeting my much loved family ...as the time draws near my anxiety over the arduous travel is becoming my predominant

All I am thinking of is R;s food, travel documents etc etc

Then a friend posts an article on Facebook about Business School . In this the author writes


If you treat B-School like an amazing educational experience, chances are you'll get a lot out of it. Just keep your attitude and sense of entitlement in check."
How true this is of life !!

I shift my focus

I shift it the whole purpose of this trip - our wonderful family - and shift attention away from the travel worries

And what a change it is 
 
Because what I  focus on is what grows inside me

My dear friends - its been such and instense three weeks- getting ready for the mother-of-all-trips  and I have really not visited your blogs like I would like to -( Nor are the next three weeks going to be much better . )

I miss you though and I miss knowing what you and your little ones are upto  and am going to catch up as soon as I can