Friday, December 2, 2011

The end of November

Thanksgiving

We have a 4 day break and a very welcome one it is

We have been walking -to-do lists  for  a while and it feels just wonderful  to do nothing for a little bit !

We asked R what he wants to do on Thanksgiving and he says he wants a picnic

OMG it is blissful - even though it is cold

We ask R what he wants to put in the picnic basket and he wants to put Coke and Sprite

And so we do

We do not however realize that he wants to mix his drinks !!

We do Black Friday Shopping on Friday and its a disaster - both DH and I are very grumpy and at one point we are planning to drive to another store and DH just cannot take it any more and he simply drives off..
And I am so glad he does - I hate shopping

R is his version of grumpy which involves incessant whining

He wants to have a "collection " of Wii Games - and while we are fine with buying him the games -we are NOT okay with buying the same game multiple times

But R wants a collection and we do not give in

I think the ideal conditions for us to be happy are as follows

1. to have plenty of time and not feel rushed
2. to be just the three of us or only close friends
3.  to be well fed
4. For R to be happy

I have noticed how much pleasure R's happiness gives to us  - perhaps its true of all kids

SOCIAL SKILLS 

DH and I are definitely going to gird our loins and learn about teaching social skills and put a plan in place for summer

When our friends are over - R just completely ignores the kids and these are VERY nice kids

Sweet and gentle

One of my friends daughters' tells her mother that she does not like to come to our house because she thinks that R does not like her!

This breaks my heart as I really adore her -

Here is she and her little brother - they entertain each other and play in the hammocks and swings that are plentiful in our cabin



Another weekend we have another set of friends and their kids - who are also beyond AWESOME

Tell me have you seen more beautiful kids ?


Again R ignores the amazing kids

While as always being sweet to the adults - here is R nestled to my friend


DH and I sternly remind ourselves that we need to attack social skills next

Especially reading stories of many autistic adults ( who I learn a lot from ) makes me feel guilty.

These adults talk about how they  just wanted to be "left alone" by other children when they were young,.

But they  feel their lack of friends and loneliness as they grow up .

This  is one thing we cannot ignore

( I must admit that the weight of all the things "we cannot ignore" weighs heavily on me some times )

The kids have demanded a classical Indian meal that DH and I make painstakingly

DH is a bit of a food snob and is ALARMED by the plebeian  way in which I am cooking

He grabs the jar from me and tells me to "respect the  saffron"

Not only must I use the right ingredients - apparently its also essential to coddle each ingredient

I leave DH to make out with the spices and do the rest of the things suitable to my "pedestrian abilities  ( grunt work like vaccuming )


The meal is DELICIOUS and the kids beg for seconds ( and everyone complements me on the sparkling house )

So both DH's bourgeoisie skills and my plebeian ones are well appreciated !!

Reading 

I am reading a lot these days

One interesting thing that I noticed was how the experience of a book changes with time.

I re-read Wuthering Heights recently . I used to say it was my favorite book - but I was shocked by how illogical the characters were. I wanted to yell at Heathcliff ( that same person that  17 year old me thought was very romantic )

I think its the same with life .

We can say we will never do this and  we will always do that

But we dont know how we will feel about this or that when we are at that point in time .

A woman once wrote about her mother that her mother used to always say that she will never become shapeless like old people do. When this woman was burying her mother - she noted how her mother had managed to stay shapely. I am alwasy struck by the people who manage to stick to something for their whole life . I feel I keep changing

The other thing I realized is just how much I read . I started to write short posts about books I am reading in a separate blog here 

I noticed that I read more than 10 books in the month of November.

This really has been made possible by Audio books that I listen to while doing chores

I have  the typical poverty of time, but I do  have time while doing other things and also I have little bursts of 10 minutes here and there

I have been thinking also that this approach could apply to Floortime as well

SICKIES 

DH and  I have both had little bouts of sickies.

I am always struck by the kindness of R - he tries to stay close to the one who is not feeling well

Last night when DH was not feeling well, R stayed snuggled up to DH all evening ( his usual place is to stay stuck to me )


His sweetness and goodness make my heart constrict sometime

This month's Nature magazine is devoted to Autism - its super expensive but I was lucky enough to have a friend who lend me her copy.

i will summarize the many good articles in that magazine - so you can read them too

(One of the articles talk about  prenatal screening for autism .This breaks my heart - it really does. But let me not dwell on that here )

As I peel a reluctant R from DH's arms to get him ready for bed I tell DH that we really won the kid lottery.

We really did, says DH

12 comments:

Di said...

Hi there
Your posts are always so nice to read. Interesting, amusing and lovely snippets of family information.
Social training, that's a tough one hey...
Thanks for the reminder to remain shapely, I need to start working on this one! :)

Þorgerður said...

Love your writing as always and your sense of humor.
Been thinking a lot about the comment you left and how I also worry about not doing enough or doing it well enough, Why language is so hard for some kids... wish I knew.
I am having the same thoughts.

No I have never seen so lovely kids ;)and the food looks gooood.

Video modeling is working very well for us in teaching social skills.
It is still hard though for all of us. Gains are painstakingly slow.

Really wish I had a touch of your plebeian skills :)

jazzygal said...

Another lovely catch up of youe week and what's been happening with you all.

It must be hard for the other children to understand and I wish you luck with the social skills element. It's a tough one, can't force them! Social Stories and 1;1 buddy time to start??

xx Jazzy

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

love reading your posts.

You are not kidding about Nature being pricey! The articles are on line but it's hard to read such small print like that for long periods of time.

TherExtras said...

The "sweetness and goodness (of your posts) make my heart constrict sometime"s. Thank you, K!

My Hubby and I used to say "if Baby is not happy, no one is happy." It became our orientation to be sure our Precious' needs were met in any endeavor, first. I think that is a basic tenet of parenting. You and your DH do it well and the result is winning the 'kid lottery'.

Of course, parents have to modify their perspective with their child's growth. You and your DH do it well and show the way by planning your summer around R's learning.

"respect the saffron" - love.this! Cooking with intent and emotion - and the result is "The meal is DELICIOUS and the kids beg for seconds".

But I know you enjoy your vacuuming. Esp w/ the sound of a good book in your ears. I might have to switch from music to books while I use my nearly dead vac. Hoping for a dyson in the New Year!

Going to bookmark your other blog. Barbara

Mr. Daddy said...

I read somewhere once that a mind is like an Umbrella, it only works if it is open.....LOL

it seems like yours and your DH's are working very well where R is concerned.:o)

As far as the changes go, the only constant in life is change. just had the thought while I was reading that the physical ones are sometimes a little easier to control or predict than the emotional ones.

I will leave you with this thought.

"What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God." ~Eleanor Powell

Lizbeth said...

Those kids are the cutest.

I struggle with trying to do as much as I can as well. Always wondering if we're doing enough or God forbid, not enough in the social skills arena.

And even sick he's a keeper. You won the lottery indeed.

Yuji said...

I know how you are feeling about teaching social skills. It is so important, but very difficult to work on. It's not like you can just put your child with another and have them play. If you can afford a professional to help with that, it may be an option to explore.

Haha, I love how you are able to make light of your husband's bourgeoisie skills and your so-called plebeian ones.

How sweet that R comforted DH when he wasn't feeling well. What a darling!

Rachel said...

I am still giggling over "respect the saffron". Can't help it - you two are such a perfect match!

I am dumbfounded by that late bit... prenatal screening? Unbearably saddened too.

And as I am home sick... may I borrow R for a bit of TLC? :)

Floortime Lite Mama said...

thank you guys so much for the kind comments

Trish said...

I can almost taste the delicious food and smell the clean house as I read - it sounds so cozy!

Looking forward to reading your thoughts on the books. :)

Julie said...

thanks for making me smile, as always. You DID win the kid lottery! R is awesome! :D
The food part made me laugh. I'm always telling Steve that the pasta didn't do anything to him, he doesn't have to shake it to death while he's draining. haha!
I wish my house was sparkling!!!!!! :)

Floortime Lite Mama

On my life as the mother of an adorable 5 year old with Autism and Apraxia