Its 3 years ago - we are in a psychologist's office
We are still wondering what it is that R has
How can it be autism when we feel so connected to our son ?
( Its still the times when we dont know much about autism and think it means an inability to relate..now we know better )
" He likes to snuggle .. he cannot sleep apart from us " we say
"He loves to nurse still!" I say
"He cries when we leave him with a babysitter " DH adds helpfully
We are so connected , we are thinking
But somehow its hard to show this connectedness, his presence in our relationship, his intelligence, his abilities in her office
"Can you show me any example of an interaction?" the psychologist asks and waits patiently
She is terribly kind and patient but still I feel helpless as I cannot show her how he really is
"We sing songs"? I add brightly
"Can you show me ?" she asks
R starts to smile as I break into the familiar notes " The wheels on the bus"-
And on cue, he holds my hands open and shut, goes bumpity bump , holds my hand to make the wiper actions of swish swish swish
And suddenly we are connected for all the world to see
Later that year we spend some time with a Floortime Psychologist
Her advice – Fill his day with Sing Swim and Swing
Make songs about everything – his routine, any activities
In those early days where we are starting to get familiar with a complete new vocabulary
All feels strange and unfamiliar
Though I am surrounded by all the things I do not know how to do … singing is one thing I am actually good at –
And so I sing
Oh how I sing
Somehow singing is a short cut to R .
Tolstoy said that music is the short hand of emotion. And it is this for us
Somehow with R, where we can not go with words, we go with song
So we introduce R to the world of made-up songs
Songs about letters, numbers , body parts, routines
You name it .. we sing it
And R, in turn introduces me to the world of classical music
Enthralled by the background scores of Little Einsteins – he watches the credits of the show intently
And then googles videos of Moonlight Sonata, of Mozart , Nutracker Suite
Slowly we get into his music
Today it amazes me that there was a time in life when I had never heard the Nutcracker Ballet
Were it not for R – would I have gone my entire life without Vivaldi ?
As I write this post for my wonderful friend Dr Boucher's blog carnival , I realize how much song is woven into the tapestry of our lives
Just a moment ago R walks down the with three Santa dolls
Santa Claus is coming to town – he sings melodiously
I pick him up and twirl with him around the room while singing
K : We …. ( pause)
R .." wish u a merry kismis "
He picks up the second doll and says "Mrs Claus is coming to town"
And then we pick up the tiniest doll and sing together "Baby Claus is coming to town"
A scene from a movie flashes into my head
In the movie a little aboriginal child being separated from the female protagonist .. wipes her tears and tells her not to worry.
They will never be lost to each other,
"I sing you to me .. Mrs Boss" he comforts her
And sometimes I think that is what we did
We sung our son to us
That is what music did in our lives
This post was writted for Dr Boucher's Blog Carnival in September called " Listen to Angels"