Friday, September 10, 2010

Different, not less

Now that R is talking more and more- I am discovering how interesting his way of thinking is

He often makes me do a double take

He was stroking my hair the other day and he touched the ear ring I wear usually - a wedding present from DH and said ...


Can you see it ?

I know I will forever feel like I am wearing snow in my ears

When  our friend was lying down on a towel sunbathing- R looked at her and said

"Sleeping Bag "

Can you see it ?

He picked my red lined socks out of the laundry and said "Santa Claus Socks " --

Well they are red and white

R insisted on wearing them and for the first time in his life slepts with socks on

Thank you Santa

He has been asking to play tennis for a while .

DH ( who is the quintessesntial sportsman ) has brought him a set of tennis balls and rackets

We go to play tennis with some of our friends and R has a great time

He savors all the elements of the game - is able to hit the ball a few times-  but this is only a small part of the joy he gets from the game

Through his eyes-  simple game of  tennis is a multisensory experience

Have you ever noticed the perfect symmetry of the clean lines of a tennis court?

 Do you know how many perfect shapes are hidden in a tennis raquet ?

Well I do

I do  now

This new dimension to tennis is not all I discover .

I also see how wonderful DH is  as he - a true sportsman - takes a not-at-all sporty child completely in his stride.

Brings whatever new game R shows interest in

And is completely charmed when R enjoys it in his way without worrying about the appropriateness of the play

There are a lot of statistics on the toll that special needs kiddos can take on marriage

But sometimes it can make your marriage stronger

The eyes of R make everything more interesting

An Icecream Cone becaomes a Birthday Hat

A set of blocks becomes a Giraffe

And so on

I just so love his way of thinking

Another thing I love about him ,  is the way he loves

How can I describe the joy of being the object of R's affection?

Here is me trying to exercise but as soon as R sees me on the exercise ball  he takes it as a chance for a cuddle

Can you see me?

Look carefully

Beneath the DVD player

There is a child

Beneath the child

Above the exercise ball

Is a mother

Every spare minute that he is not in school or in therapy - R tries to make sure he is with me

Here I am sorting out the linen cupboard and right next to me in this sideways picture is R

The more I use my own eyes to look at my life  and not at what the statistics say

The more I feel the the words of Dr Grandin describe my son


Not less


Anonymous said...

you are such a beautiful writer and person. I don't know how you manage to stay as positive as you do, but everyday I look forward to a post from you to brighten my day. Different not less is right. Thank you.

Big Daddy Autism said...

I can see it. Well done. He is amazing and awesome.

Þorgerður said...

This is the thing... open the window of language and then you can hear the thoughts... R is a clever thoughtful boy.

Kris said...

How beautiful! So true: different, not less. If there is one thing I want Alex to know about himself and my other children to know about him - that would be it.

Rachel said...

I love his way of thinking.

And that picture of him cuddling as you attempt to exercise... is there anything sweeter?!?! I love it - my heart smiled!

KAL said...

Love this and so needed to read this tonight.

Lisa said...

K, I just really dig you!
R, you are pretty dang amazing too!


Anonymous said...

Easy to see why he loves you.


Anonymous said...

I hope a publisher finds you.

Kara (and Wes)

Anonymous said...

I love to visit you here. You're perspective and words are consistently uplifting. Thank you!!

robin said...

I love that pic of you two (while exercising.) I like that you gave so many examples of ways he views ordinary things around him...He's so smart and amazing!

Bonsky said...

Like Mother like son. There is no surprise that R is perceptive and sees things that others do not see. Just one of the many things I adore about his mum. Little M (who is not so little anymore -- sniff sniff) always amazes me with her comments and the view of the world too. We both are lucky indeed.

Kim said...

I always smile when I read your blog! Yes: "Different, not less" Love the photos to go along with your post.

Anonymous said...

i see it and it's beautiful and extraordinary.
thank you.

Lynn said...

How did I miss this post? So beautiful, as always. I so agree with you. Also wonderful that your husband shares your perspective...mine does not always and it's his loss!

Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg said...

As an autistic adult, I find it so refreshing to hear a mom talk in such positive terms about her amazing autistic son. So much of what you've described about R mirrors my thought processes exactly. For me, the way I see is the most natural thing in the world and I wonder why others don't see the things I do. I don't think there's something wrong with you all for seeing the world differently, though, and I often wonder why non-autistic people think that about me. We're just different. To me, difference is what makes life interesting. There's lots of room for difference, if people would just open up the space. Thanks for doing that in your post and in your life!

kathleen said...

Lovely lovely lovely...Isn't it amazing the connections they make..things we don't see..until they show us-and then it is as if a whole world has opened up..:)

Anonymous said...

yes yes yes. Different, not less. <3
great post!

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