Saturday, June 27, 2009

SOOC Saturday - Hope

Here is an intricate ( for a 4 year old ) crossword I found on the frig a couple of days ago

I thought back to another time

Two years ago

Though it seems a lifetime away

When we were in the midst of all the diagnostics and evaluations.

I remember us filling out the sections on "Cognitive"

We were so alarmed at all the things R did not do - Stack blocks, string beads etc etc.

I often wondered - is it me ?

Am I not sitting down with blocks teaching him to make a tower- with one on top of the other?

Stringing beads??????

We did not even have any beads in the house! Were other parents teaching their kids arts and crafts all the time ?

But even in the gloomy times full of doubt and fear, we insisted that R had no cognitive impairment

"He has intelligent eyes" DH would say ( as though that settled the matter )

"He Bends the Dumdum so he does not have to tilt his hand" I would say triumphantly( Hence Proved !!!)

How patient and kind these evaluators were, (though I do wonder whether they felt pity in their hearts and I am glad I do not know what they wrote down in those notebooks )
Nevertheless, we have always clung to the idea of R's cognitive potential.
Even in the bleak times

And none of his therapists teachers ever say otherwise.

( not that people with MR have less worth - I love the persons with MR I know - in my eyes - they seem to have their own unique potential)

How do you measure the intelligence of a child?

A child who may not understand your verbal question or has no desire to impress you?
I think intelligence tests for young auties especially speech impaired auties are bogus!
And I do not buy the idea of "functional IQ either"( ie if you are not able to take a test - aren't you at least functionally low in IQ? )
I would rather focus on potential !

Of which I believe R has plenty.

And be full of hope

All will be right,
Look to the light.
Morning was ever the daughter of night;
All that was black, will be all that is bright,
- Author unknown

Pfor more SOOC images or to participate yourself visit Melody at "Slurping life"- her link is on my blog list


Territory Mom said...

Oh, my goodness you sound just like us a few years ago. That bead issue and his eyes. I don't pay attention to IQ tests anymore. I hope you get some rest this weekend. Love ya!!

Lisa said...

Very well said K!

I often say to my husband "There will be a time when we will look secretly across the room at each other and just know how far we all have come!"

Somehow their lives have taught us invaluable lessons, our children are treasures that are invaluable.

I don't think I would change a thing, I am blessed beyond belief.


danette said...

Beautiful post! I remember Cuddlebug's first eval w/ the school showed cognitive delays, which I disagreed with (and the evaluator even said it could be he has no cognitive delays and that the testing results are just a function of his language delays). Today he just finished up 2nd grade on the straight-A honor roll for the entire year. I know, grades aren't everything but my point is I agree with you that the tests don't really matter. Just focusing on potential and reveling in every accomplishment, however big or small, is more important. Today Bitty read the word "cat" out of the blue... the word was actually "catastrophe" but he saw the C-A-T at the beginning, pointed out each letter and said "C-A-T-Cat" :)

Mominin said...

Beautiful and touching posts. Have a great weekend.

Emily said...

How encouraging...and what joy to see this from your child:)

robin said...

Duo?!? Pooh?!? Wow!!! What a great speller he is!!!! awe.

Tara R. said...

That is a fabulous crossword for a 4yo!

The Animator's Wife said...

Oh. My. Yes.

I see him actually spelling HOPE in the little fridge crossword puzzle. It may be backwards with a few extra letters--but hope it clearly there!

Great post.

Lyndsey said...

I love this! He's gorgeous, AND he's smart! You know, I have two daughters...just sayin'. ;)

Sandi @ Life with Jessica said...

That's an amazing crossword for a 4 year old...not even sure I knew what a crossword was at 4 :-)

And a beautiful post! I wish those who evaluate our children could see beyond the "boxes to check off" on their forms and see the beauty and potential of each individual child.

Arlene said...

Great shot and beautiful thoughts. :)

Thank you for visting my first SOOC entry. :) It['s very much appreciated.

Anonymous said...

I remember going through a lot of what you say - wondering was I supposed to be home stringing beads! An arts and crafty mom I am not.

You have such a beautiful outlook, it's wonderful to read.

Anonymous said...

This was beautiful! I always love how you express yourself and your love and hope for your little man! The crossword is great, too! I have no doubt that he's a smart little guy!!!

Trish said...

Oh, I can totally relate to that feeling that you must be doing something wrong. Why weren't we reading books every night and coloring pictures with our two year old? Were we neglectful slackers who didn't deserve to have a child?

No, we were first-time parents who were bewildered by a child who didn't get how or even why he would communicate with us about anything he wanted or needed, and who wasn't able to respond to us in any meaningful way.

And now we read all the time (and he reads on his own too), and he loves to draw and create things. And best of all, we talk to each other and he tells me his dreams.

The time is coming!

Anonymous said...

Awesome article.

Another random week in 2020

 Everything that I could say about 2020 has probably been said.  On the whole,  its not as bad as it could have been because I am with my tw...