Monday, June 15, 2009

A day in the life of K and R

Sunday is the least typical of our days ( no therapy for R and no office for me ) and yet its the only day that I have the time to take pictures.
We are a family of late sleepers - though in the work week I need to be up at 6 am.
So I and R wake up by 9 and loll around excanging compliments till 9.30

R sits on the toilet while I check on SOOC pictures from Melody's blog


Then I go to the kitchen to empty the dishwasher.



Why a picture of a dead fly ? DH has the cruel contraption that hangs from our ceiling - its a length of sticky paper and any fly flying past will die by sticking on it and then starving. WHen I protest at the inerent cruelty DH says What do you want me to do ...this is the only alternative to some kind of chemical alternative
(What I want him to do of course is to run around the house mashing the files quickly and mercifully with his bare hands) Or for all flies to die a happy natural death
I frequently wish for childish things such as this. Like "I wish the world would expand to twice its size so there was room for everyone and everyone was born with a chip that made them eco - conscious"etc
Its amazing to me at the age of 34 how childish my inner world still is !)
I had tried last night to get this fly out but And I am so happy its died a natural( and hopefully happy ) death !
R eats his breakfast while watching TV


I go and make ginger tea

R does a number puzzle


I get ready


DH finally wakes up and makes a mint sauce for our picnic sandwiches for we are going to the river . He has a love fest with R

Eli comes to get his mail ( and he and Lucy have been to the beach for a vacation and we have colleced their mail and watered their plants)

Eli brings a gift of some bread
As I suspected, the "bread" turns out to be a very buttery and sinful poundcake and I cut two slice and put it in the picnic basket to surpise DH with it later.

I get our picnic ready

R throws a tantrum. I cannot figure out what he wants so I take him to the magnet letters on the frig and he takes the letters TEN and throws them on the floor. He wants Ten more minutes of TV. And I suppose flinging them on the floor is the equivalent of shouting. Still he is communicating when he is frustrated rather than just crying so I give him the remote and set the timer for 10 minutes with a stern warning

We pile into the car and head out to the river

R is very sad when we pass by the airport. He is mad for airports - In fact he seems to love vast spaces that are inside like the Mall the airport etc
He spends some time throwing stones and I am very pleased to see he remembered this from our last trip a couple of weeks ago

We sit on rocks

And float on our tube

( DH is funny in that he rarely goes into the river himself but will watch us from the side or read a book or fish. Its one of his most charming traits that it appears to give him joy to see me and R having fun )


And eat a delicous lunch of mint sandwiches, Pepsi, Apples . R eats a slice of cheese toast and chips The river makes you hungry and he even picks up and tries to eat the crumbs that have fallen on the sheet

DH is (predictably) delighted with the cake and I give him my slice too. Its almost as much fun to watch him eat it and far fewer calories


Isnt this the secret of a happy marraige - taking joy in your loved one's joy? So easy to lose this in the humdrum of everyday and wondering why you always get the short end of the stick.
In the evening we have our Pizza pot luck - this is the only Indian couple we know - they have two NT kids - very sweet. And they are terribly nice. WHen I told them how important interaction with other kids was for R they immediately set up a playdate
We both order Pizza to be delivered to our house and then we start the evening with pizza and end with the playdate
I am used to parents of other Auties and I think I embaress the mother ( my friend ) with effusive praise on their kids joint attention and pretend play.
She tries to point out all the great things that R is doing. And I realise that she is thinking that I am feeling bad . I assure her that I am not and in fact rather than feel self pity we are terribly proud of R . I see in her eyes that she is not convinced. Though its the truth
Its ironic to me that all lack understanding results stems from sometimes not beleiving what people say and at other times believing what people say and taking it at their face value
I must learn to reel it in next time
Playdates are VERY stressful for R
R is stunned when I put S in the trampoline ( our sacred place !!!) with him


He is a little bit consoled when I get in but not much


He tries to move on to the next thing we do together R and I -the swing - but I put their other daughter on the swing with him


As you can see he is looking at the pool and wondering if he escapes to the pool will he once again have the exclusive world of R and mum
But it is not to be as both the girls want to get in and indeed its the puprose of this evening
My heart twists with pain at the stress in his eyes but I know this is very important for him
After a while of playing in the water we go to the playroom - So much interaction has been exhausting for R and he retreats to his computer

anddoes a puzzle - matching words with pictures

Just so you know that we dont spend all our days frolicking Saturday afternoon has been one of hard labour as I have cooked for the week( DH does all the shopping on Thursday and chops all the veggies and meat on Sturday and I do all the weeks cooking on Saturday )

We all end up chatting too long and By the time they leave it is really late and I feed R and give him a bath and he throws a first class tantrum for more TV and remote
I tell him that owing to the tantrums there shall be no more remote.
This has the curious effect of calming him down completely

I am too exhausted and so DH puts R to bed and I stay up late with a couple of loads of laundry and watch Jon Stewart while ironing

I clear up the kitchen and sweep up all the floors with my Swiffer( how does our house get dirty everyday ) Even thought its past midnight I cannot sleep until the kitchen sink is shining
I finally go to sleep at 1 and will need to be up at 6
The day is over and like all my days it busy,full of living, hard work, loving and loveliness

16 comments:

Becki said...

Wow, what a full day! It looks like you and R had such a great time though. I am in shock that you do all the weeks cooking in one day - are you at the stove all day with that? Do you find it just makes life easier that way?

K said...

Much easier to cook all at once
Dh does all the chopping and then it takes me 3.5 hours max from start to kithcen clean up

Huriya said...

nice narration..
I used to cook for the whole week as well but not ironing .. I loath that. so that is on day to day basis now.

Bonnie said...

that is a full day !! the picnic and time spent together at the river looks wonderful !!

Rachel said...

Looks like a busy and fun day! Love the photos of him at the water, and I love airports too :)

(and the photos of your food made me hungry! care to post some recipes?!? :)

Becki said...

3.5 hours and you have meals for a week - I think I may try that and see how it goes for us. Talk about a time saver!

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking about the day in the life that you did on the island earlier this week. :) So much fun to see.

So please tell about some of your standard recipes / foods that you prepare each week. Do you freeze them or just refrigerate everything?

Tanya

goodfountain said...

What a wonderful day you shared with us. I enjoyed reading about it and seeing you.

robin said...

Love the Day in the Life pics! It's great to read the story behind the pics...

Shovona said...

the pictures and the description is very and good. I am feeling very nostalgic for the times that we had spend together :-(. I am reminded of it so much. Yesterday I was watching the cd that Atul had made, it was a very good one
the picnic looks great

melody is slurping life said...

You always make me feel connected...real..."normal".

Thank you for sharing your family openly and beautifully.

K said...

Tanya you mean last year right ? I put all the food in the meat section of the frig - the lowest section where things are half frozen
Thank you freinds so much for your kind words - I love the ordinary details of people's lives and what they think about so I assume that others feel the same way
But I was thinking when I posted this that it may have been too boring
I will do a post on recipes

Julie said...

I love this! It's so fun to see some of the behind-the-scene details in other's lives! Thanks for sharing all of this! What a full day you had, too! My goodness! =) It sounded like R did very well on his playdate. I think it's especially hard when other kids invade their space. Oh, and I loved how he threw the T-E-N on the floor. Sorry, I had to chuckle. =)

lonestar said...

This is great! What a fun (and busy!) day... this was a really great idea.

Wow about cooking everything for a week on one day!

And I love how R threw the T-E-N on the floor :). Great job communicating! (and great job interpreting!)

All About the Bailey's said...

Thanks for sharing pieces of your day, it was nice to see the many different things.

The idea of preparing a weeks worth of meals just blows my mind..Really....that is great!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I meant I was thinking last week about what you did last year. :) Looking forward to your recipe post!

Tanya

Floortime Lite Mama

On my life as the mother of an adorable 5 year old with Autism and Apraxia