Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Learning to talk

"What do you want to do ?"

R's grandma is asking him some weeks ago . She is starting to get a litte frustrated as R does not anwer her .

After asking him a couple of times, she turns to me  " he has the words .. why doesnt he answer?"

I answer " Becasue he does not understand the question?"

Its the truth.

When R answers questions - he is using memory of the context rather than pure comprehension of a sentence.

In reality, he mostly understands single words

For example,  this evening when I asked him

"Do you want to jump on the trampoline or play in the playroom?"

 Since its evening and I have my sneakers on he will use his memory of what we usually do in that situation - and his understanding of the two words "Jump" and  "Playroom"  that makes him answer -


As R's Apraxia is loosening its grip and we are getting more and more words -we are recognising the  challenges of the next stage of language.

Comprehension of sentences.

I toss and turn over this quite a  bit

It can feel disheartening

The feeling that each time we climb a mountain there is another new one just ahead

At the same time,  when I look behind - I see all the mountains- seemingly insurmountable ones- that we have already climbed

And it gives me courage 

I keep my eyes steady on what I dream of

Of talking to R ....Really talking

"Ah but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for "
                                                                 - Robert Browning


Anonymous said...

Piece by piece a puzzle is solved. You are a good puzzle maker. It seems that your son is like you. Together you will complete the work that has begun.

Mr. Daddy said...

don't let the climbing weary you to much...

"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." ~Eleonora Duse

Really talking is not always just words...

Be courageous and DREAM big...:o)

Shirin's Art said...

i agree with your post...its like this with faheem everytime..if one time seems to be going well..another matter seems to crop u....lolz..but thats autism..infact thats the way everything the way love the posts bout india..haven't been there for almost 7 years now....

robin said...

Interesting... You know, mountain climbing requires teamwork and guys have both...hang in there! Soon, you will be gazing at huge mountain ranges! said...

he'll get there, climbing is always easier when someone has your back so you don't fall and when someone is holdingthe rope - he is lucky you are holding the rope and have his back so he won't fall.

Niksmom said...

Sending hugs of understanding, strength, and more hope. xo

Lisa said...

Aww K, and I can't wait to read about your long convserstions with eachother. One day, you are a remarkable team.


Brenda Rothman (Mama Be Good) said...

I remember this feeling well ... Sending lots of hugs.

Anonymous said...

Not my specialty, but it seems to me there is some verbal scaffolding between one-or-two words and a full 13-word sentence. Explaining that to grandma might help her understand (him better). It is like a mountain climb. You are wise to take heart from looking down (behind). Barbara

Rachel said...

He has already shown you not to underestimate him. He has a strong instinct to connect with you - that can overcome much!

Somehow I feel that your family unit communicates much more deeply than superficially evident :)

Anonymous said...

This part is so hard isn't it? It's such a challenge to know what they understand. I have found so many times that D understands more than he can never give up hope. Someday more and more of that will come out.


P.S. I love the "Finding Joy in Life After Autism" you added in your side bar.

danette said...

"The feeling that each time we climb a mountain there is another new one just ahead

At the same time, when I look behind - I see all the mountains- seemingly insurmountable ones- that we have already climbed"

Our experience has been like this too (still is). It's hard to know how much Bitty really understands sometimes, but I think that a lot of times he understands more than he can express.

I think there's something to be said for routine too... like the "playroom" vs. "jump" question that comes up frequently as compared with the open-ended "what do you want to do?"

Bitty is much more "interactive" in situations that we encounter every day. He is getting better at requests that he makes all the time (like for milk). On the other hand, out of the ordinary requests are much harder. He was looking for something yesterday and I never did figure out exactly what it was :(.

Þorgerður said...

Imagine only six months ago. I too keep reminding myself of how many stitches it takes to make the pattern of language. It is wonder ful to hear how well R is doing.

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