Is the last day of being a lazy lump
Its fun to be a lazy lump though and I have really enjoyed this time with just hanging out with DH - the more we are married the more I realise how lucky I am to be with a man that I not just love but also like ( which sounds so lukewarm - but really is all important)
We have a date lunch- I love Mexican food while DH hates it .
However there is a new Mexican restaurant that has opened called Spice Rack - ( many risque posters with voluptous women giving enticing looks)
So I text DH to ask him if he wants to go to lunch at the place with the hotties.
He agrees ( surprise surprise )
I am kind of embaressed while I am there - Part feminism and part puritanism are growing in me I think - though DH is very blase and European and makes fun of me !
Our Hanen Lady from school comes home - DH is doing the Hanen program at the school - I am very impressed that they are doing it - and am very impressed with the SLP too- very nice and very smart !
She comes and takes a couple of videos of us interacting with R
She tells us things we already know and they make sense -
But then she shows us our vidoes she points out what we are doing wrong in the videos and I am very taken aback by how many mistakes I make.
First, I dont wait for R to respond but move on and repeat my question.
Second we bombard him with words.
Our plan for the week is to
1. SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW down our speed of talking with R
2. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait for a response ( ASD kids have slower processors - and most parents never give them the time to respond ( she asks us to wait 15 seconds after asking a question - just try it - 15 secs seems interminable )
3 Practise turn taking with a written cue
I come home and am all agog to put my resolve into practise .
However R is embroiled in the Little Einstiens and their antics with a Little Totem Pole
I show him the two options on the whiteboard - Jump or TV
He chooses TV .
So I craftily say that I am off to jump and wave the dreaded Goodbye
R wails at my departure ( for though he wants TV - he wants me around - available if he needs a cuddle - as well ).
He resigns himself to finding out what happened to the Little Totem pole later ( though he knows fully well how the story ends - having watched this episode a gajillion times ) leaves the remote and while its icy outside- we jump on the trampoline.
WAIT and SLOW is a really good technique - and I find it makes him talk more
Interestingly at the end of our hour he wants more and leads me to the playroom and the swinging etc
I am MUCH chuffed - for being more appealing than technology is high praise indeed
Is my 11th wedding anniversary - DH wakes up with a tummy bug and lunch at the Thai place is out of question.
Pity because we are both mad for Panang
Inspite of the sickies he gets me lilies and daisies - and I am just so deeply touched. He is such a good husband !With the roses my siter send the dining room looks like a flower shop and that is the way I like it
I come home at lunch and make him some lentil soup ( as I cannot put any spice in it nor any oil - it tastes horrible )
Our friends from Delhi come on skype
I feel such love for them when I see their dear familiar faces- how wonderful friendship is
DH is so sad about the soup that I make another batch of soup in the night with some spice and some oil - this he eats happily
However all this cooking from scratch has left me with little time with R !
Even in that little time though - I realize the importance of waiting for a response. For R seems to need to finish whatever he is doing at that time before he answers a question .
Example: after I come from work and he does his happy jig ( which I join ) . This entails us prancing around the room in circles making silly sounds and giggling !
He wants me to roll around on the bed with him - so he gestures that I should take off my coat .( by tugging at it )
I want words so I ask - "off coat?"
But he is busy taking his shoes off and so I just pause midway thru taking my coat off- ( usually I would just have moved on.)
But once he has taken his socks off he looks up and instructs me "coat off"
I have taken to verbally reminding myself that after I ask a question - the ball is in his court !
Ironically I have been listening to a Greenspan CD on my way from work which stresses the importance of 8 floortime sessions a day
How do regular parents of Auties get this much in ?
Some people who contact me after just getting their diagnosis ask
"how will I get 8 sessions in ? I work too- what about laundry.. cooking.... all the chores"
I always have the same answer
"I know you dont have the time for 8 . Do you have time for 1?
Its this all or nothing approach that is to blame for a lot of problems in any good endeavours- be it losing 10 pounds, being a better human being, starting recycling etc ect - and I remind myself of this very good advice
Well I am getting late for work so I will sign off now