Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Weekly update w/o August 8. Tick tock tick tock

Well I have not done this for a while !!

While this is probably boring to read - I really like having a record.

Sometimes reading a journal is like looking at pictures of your vacation.

For a minute you are there and feeling what you felt.


R did his therapy in the morning while I cooked – in the afternoon we went downtown for an Open Doors program.
He was very intrigued by a kids’ birthday party balloons - some smart parent had decided to have a party in the park –especially as one of them was Thomas and had "1"written on it.

Another boy who was guarding the ballons jealously – pushes him away.

R simply ignores him and keeps trying to make his way back to the balloons. I quickly intervene and explain how we cannot touch anyone else presents.

The kid’s parents watch nonchalantly – both of them smoking- one of them blowing very artistic rings.

In the autism fair, some services are advertised and 1-2 looked promising ( art and dance ) but I really don’t want to add anything new to his schedule as school will start.
In the evening we jump swim and swing.

After dinner I ask R if he wants to go shop ( tax free weekend ) or do some computer time before sleeping and he chose computer


I bake cookies in the morning. R took the sound of the mixer to mean that I was pureeing vegetables for him and he runs into the kitchen - urgently chanting "pissa pissa"( pizza )

I give him pizza which he eats laconically . His pleading was not for the pizza but as a means to avoid the vegetables.

After he eats - we take advantage of church time ( all of our town’s people are in church from 10 -12 ) and this means that the stores are clear.

So this is when we shop- to buy his school supplies.

I am proud to see that when given a choice R chooses Target instead of Walmart ( just like his mum ) . I sulk a little at the store as DH overrules all my suggestions of buying the prettier expensive branded things – rather than the plain white store brand and I get in a huff.
DH mollifies me by showing that he is buying “triclosan-free” handwash.

We come back from Target – and jump swim and swing- Then bath and lunch for R.
The house is filthy but I am not in the mood to clean – even though his therapist comes to continue with the ABLL’s and stays for 2 hours. Its taking her a long time to do the ABLLS – but she says its because he knows a lot more now!

After she leaves, I feed R dinner – as we are all going out to a friends’ house – his second son has been admitted to Yale( the elder son got a full scholarship to Vanderbilt ) and is leaving now.

I smile a little when I think of how when I had first met them I had mistaken their adolescent son’s awkwardness for a disability but had been too polite ( thank goodness ) to ask.

Most of these people who have come to the party of Indian origin and they are boasting about their kids academic achievements. I have never seen a culture that focuses so much on their kids academics.

I still remember if I scored 97 out of 100 – my mum would say – what happened to the other 3 marks? Or my Dad would say comfortingly – don’t worry you will do better next time.

R is a pillar of virtue and apart from smelling a lady’s sari and lying down on the floor – he behaves like an angel.

He tries to avoid my friend’s two little girls who want to hang out with him and drags me a couple of times to the car !!but is otherwise content to read his books. My friend looks worried when she sees him read a book on countries of the world. I know she is thinking that she should get her daughter some more educational things.( she is from India too).

Little does she know that I have been gazing admiringly at her daughter’s making a picnic area.


R is computer mad and I tell him after the therapist leaves that he has the choice between computer and Jumping and he chooses computer.
I tell him that this means there will be no jumping and he agrees. I cross out Jumping on the white board to drive home the point.

Later when he realizes that I am about to start his bath routine he does his angry dervish dance. He says earnestly ” Jump Jump jump” !!!!!

Turns out he wants to jump – he did not want to do it at the moment when he was given the choice – I show him the board again and remind him of choices and consequences.

At this written proof he is quiet. we play in the bath tub for a while. I bring out his foam letters and number and he is ecstatic – but soon this idyll is disrupted as he realizes ( like in 10 secs ) that 8 is missing – he knows he has seen it in the bedroom where he had lovingly put it earlier .

He runs around wet and slippery.chanting eight and frantically showing me three fingers ( for that is how R counts – not in 10’s but in 5’s )

We locate the 8 and R coos to it and puts it back in the bath with much ceremony
After this he wants to swing and we do have a swing inside the house that he loves now ( in total we have 5-6 swings and 2 hammocks in the house ) and so we swing a 100times


I am dead tired as I woke up at 4 to go into work – but we play for a while till his therapist comes
Then we jump and swing – WHen we return inside the house the family room is empty.
DH has gone to attend a meeting against the electric company that plans to chop down tress when we re-enter the house. Since DH is not there - the TV is up for grabs - R leaps upon the Wii remote – saying uff uff uff- SO we do the Wii for 20 minutes and then do dinner etc.

In the bathtub we play for a while with the foam letters – I write the word QUESTION and he turns that into QUIET . For he is into numbers today and does not want to play with letters.

I also notice that he used to want me to sing when he was a baby .But now he hates it.He always puts his fingers on my lips telling me to be quiet.

And suddenly I realize its because he wants very much to sing and knows he cant
So I whisper-sing.

He LOVES it and strokes my face beaming with approval . I plan to whisper-sing all the time.

It really is too cruel to sing songs in front of a child who wants so much to sing but cannot


Same as Monday . He jumps into the bath takes one look at his foam letters and says "fonduh" (4)
I pick out two 4's and give them to him but he gestures urgently and shows me 4 fingers.
That means there is a third 4 in his bath letters and numbers which is missing. I go to hunt and sure enough I find it beneath the computer. How does he take one look and know ?
It’s so funny to see how ecstatic he is when I draw a face on a balloon and put a birthday hat on it .

He loves balloons and he loves birthday hats.

He quickly takes another party hat and says – "Hat UP" ( put this hat on top of your head ) – the boy sure uses the heck out of the few words he has

This has been a mostly frustrating week in terms of parent therapy.I am simply unable to do all the things I want to do and create more time.

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

~Doug Larson

SO true !

I have never been content with time

Either it goes by too fast or too slow

Between his sensory routine, evening therapy, dinner and bath the hours have wings.

It seems only a few minutes ago I came home and now DH is taking R upstairs to do his bedtime routine.

I think I am also melancholy that this summer is over. Vacation finishes this week ( which is so odd since I am passionate beliver in year round school for many children with special needs)

New school will start at 7.45 instead of 11 am.

And the end of lazy mornings for my baby feels like the end of his precious babyhood.
Oh how I wish I could slow down time and enjoy my baby for a little longer each day!


Anonymous said...

They grow up way too quick. They are in diapers one day and teens the next day. Enjoy every day and every stage because it all goes by so quick.

Territory Mom said...

This is so sweet. I loved reading your journal. I'm going to start one up again. I miss my little babies. That time went so fast. They were so cuddlily. Sorry, I could go on and on. It sounds like R is great with numbers. Good luck with the new school year.

Rebecca said...

Not boring at all! I really enjoy these weekly updates - I like to get a sense of what life is like on an every day basis. I find it very interesting. :)

I liked your mention of academics in regards to Indian people. I once had a friend when I was in college.. his name is Ritesh. We have long since lost communication, but when I was in college we talked quite often and he was so studious and everything seemed to be measured by his academic success. I did well in school, but this guy - man, it was like his whole life depended on what grade he got on what exam.. I'd never met anyone quite like that and I have also been a studious person myself.

Anyways, I like the updates :) R is doing well :)

Trish @ Another Piece of the Puzzle said...

Sounds like computer is a definite favorite! I wonder if he would pick jumping over a different activity?? Maybe you could use the computer time as a reward to get him to do other things since he likes it so much (just thinking out loud, as I have another computer fan here).

It is amazing how much detail information they retain, isn't it? My son asked me my favorite letter, and proceeded to tell me that the one I chose was the third one they learned in kindergarten (way back last September)!

You are a good mama. :)

Lyndsey said...

I love reading your updates. C loves to sing even if she doesn't understand the words or doesn't say them correctly, but L covers her ears and pushes our mouths against her to quiet the sound if we sing. I think she has some auditory defensiveness, but I hadn't considered the fact that she can't sing, so maybe that has something to do with it... It was so good seeing you and your family this evening. PM me your number and we'll get together soon!

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed this. I could feel the irony when you wrote about your friend seeming to be worried about getting more educational things for her daughter, while you were admiring her daughter's play skills.
Also, I love the idea of whisper-singing.

Anonymous said...

What's Happening im fresh to this, I came upon this board I find It truly accommodating & it's helped me out a lot. I should be able to contribute & assist other users like it has helped me.

Thank's, See Ya Later.

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