Saturday, August 29, 2009
SOOC Saturday: The Happiness Magnet
I met someone sad recently.
His sadness - it was like a physical thing.
I think he is recently (and unhappily ) divorced . He has a way of bringing “my ex-wife” into the conversation.
And sometimes he slips and says “my wife and I”( as in “ my wife and I love to cook!” ) instead of my ex wife. It tells its own story!
Me and my friend, take him out to lunch.We are the epitome of good Southern warmth ( though I suppose if you want to be specific – my friend is a New Yorker and I am as brown as anyone that ever stirred a curry )
Still we are not much comfort.
Though we try so hard and I feel helpless
While talking to him, I remember another person I met many years ago.
Its many years ago.I am visiting my MIL for Diwali ( Indian Christmas ) .
I am standing on a terrace looking down idly.
I see a man. He is carrying that same cloud of sadness.
He and the cloud stay in my mind forever. I can still see him, shoulders hunched , hands in pocket. Black sweater.
A year or so later, I meet the man again. He turns out to be a schoolmate of my DH ( DH went to a posh school and they are very cliquish) . I ask him about the other time I saw him.
He thinks back and says it was a very bad time for him as his sister’s cancer had returned. (she has since died since and life goes on) . He is still sad.
( I meet him again about 3 years ago. He is married and the sad air was all gone !)
Sad people have a different air about them .
Sadness is infectious
When I get back home I am feeling melancholy too
R ever attuned to how I feel inside.
He knows that when maudlin, I am apt to clutch him and weep ( as I have been doing this the past weekend while reading “The Lovely life” )and ask unanswerable questions( why is there so much pain in the world ?)
To avoid me, he gives me his therapists’ PECS ( sticker on which her name was written ) several times.
Even though I entice him with – Playdoh and stencils of numbers- he is astute and is not fooled by my pretend-happy!
Later in the evening, I use exercise to snap out of gloom – R notices and fawns over me effusively.
Truly its one of the strangest ironies of life that this breed - the sad - who needs friendship the most –does not attract people
Happiness is a magnet.
Unfortunately it makes us invisible.
There are so many social stories that teach our auties how to interact
So many scripts on how to make friends
And yet the constant teaching of how to act different – may destroy the most precious people-magnet that our kiddos have!
The happiness elixir inside them.
While we must learn to not just empathize but also help those people with sadness
One of the most impt lessons we much teach our kiddos is how to be happy
My little boy brims over with happiness.
Just look at him
Effortlessly , he is Mr Popular with all the people he cares about - therapists, teachers , my friends, his parents.
Of all the things that are almost unbearably precious about R.
Of all the things I hope he learns
I hope this thing he will always retain
The art of happy
For more fun with pictures and the stories behind them- or to participate yourself- visit Slurping Life- its a lovely blog - her link is on my list