Reclaimed it !!!

Yes we did it
We finally reclaimed the weekend from Chores
DH chopped all veggies on Friday night - we did lanudry Friday morning - I actually came home at lunch and started it and I changed sheets and towels in the evening when DH and R went for Musical Gymnastics
I cooked in the morning when his ABA therapist was here and by 11.30 it was ALL DONE!!!
Wahooo - Saturday morning and no more chores for the whole weekend
I also did a pretty good job of playing with R one on one and opening and closing circles of communication
Today I also read this post on the Autism board and I realised that I need to do more
But I still want to do a little celbratory gig that at the very least we had a real fun weekend with lots of play and music

Reclaiming the weekend

Yesterday was a much better evening inspite of the fact that R has a bad cough and cold.
And also becasue he was tired and sleepy in the evening
This was becasue

1. He was not tired as there was no therapy in the evening
2. We did not go out anywhere or do anything like The Mall or anything like that
3. We just sang songs and played

Funnnnnn
This evening will be baaaad because we may need to go to Kroger
or something like that
I am really trying to finsih all our errands and cooking and stuff as I am trying to reclaim the weekend
The weekend has become such a ordeal of chores!!!!

Phooey on me
I suck
Yesterday I yelled at R because he would not take his cold medicine
Really yelled
And in anger !
I am so ashamed
He cried so much so much so much
He is such a sensitive child
And the net result was

1. he did not take medicine
2. he was sad and DH said every time he woke up in the night he was in tears
3. all the crying made him snottier than ever
4. I was so horribly guilty

Well atleast today evening he does not have a therapy session and I will try to make it a fun evening filled with Songs and Sensory and lovey

I took a bunh of easy to take cold medicine - those cold strips, the shower soothers and the Baby Rub

DH got him to take some Delsym so hopefully he will be caughing less

My cup of guilt runneth over

This week i have been sitting ion my fat butt and not doing a thing - R has been feeling out of sorts which is ofcourse all the more excuse for me to just sit on my butt and not do floortime or any of the other things I need to be doing ( including but not limited to exercise )
Today my aim is very very simple - do one hour of flooritme and do exercise
Also get started on Bloody Performance review at work

Well I did something really amazing yesterday - I cleared out the guest bedroom and turned it into a "Pretend Play" and :"FIne motor skills room"
With a pang - I also suddenlty realized that for some reason I like to plan for what I am going to do rather than actually do it
I keep trying to go to more seminars and read something more whereas in reality I need to be more in the present and DO all the things I want to do with R
I espeically realize it when I find myself - wanting R to leave me alone so I can do something so we can play together later
How strange and ironic that is

Here is some advice from me to me
Please do flooritme by following the child' lead
We had a really boring and depressing time last evening because I took out some blocks and wanted him to play with them
I really really should just focus on stuff he likes to do
Sensory stuff
Water and music based stuff

double post

I want to say that we suspect R also has Apraxia
His desire to communicate is very high – particularly for the things he wants and likes – So for example if the Baby Bumble Bee video is on – he will drag me in front of the TV and when they show the image of Pizza he will look at me with such keen expectation on his face and do a happy dance when I say out the word - “Pizza”
And this is literally all day!
The use of PECS honestly has been just great in whetting his appetite to communicate. Thank you everybody who encouraged me to use PECS
Numbers which are his special love – I know he is just so keen to say them – and he knows them all and he can count things etc. like if I ask him “how many teddy bears are there “– he will touch them one by one and then hold up the right number of fingers – but if he is holding the symbol “1” and uttering something – it will sounds TOTALLY different like “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”. I also sometimes hear him whispering “papa” so many times in a day. The other day he said the word “bubble” but did not say it again
Then reading another person’s post here about how their child never graduated beyond the infant nipples “on the bottle – That was R – he also started solids at 14 months almost .
Starting solids was a HUGE struggle and even today he will not eat any vegetable – I still feed him dinner by hand – which is usually some kind of spicy chicken rice veggies stir – fry – which I STILL puree and he is 3 years and 2 months old .
Suddenly it just clicked in my head and I felt that its not just his lack of desire to talk but that he Cant!
We asked his pre-school and his SLP said that makes sense – I love his Pre-school and also his teacher but I really hate that they did not tell us earlier .
It seems the more challenges we overcome the more they come up. But surprisingly my feelings over this latest development are not down and dejected. I am actually very happy that we found something that we can work on and I am VERY grateful that this thought clicked.
I am just glad that we can develop a gameplan to help R do something that I know he really wants to
Sorry for the long post but I did want to write this in case this is the situation some other parent is dealing with but not knowing why – it may not simply be the case lack of symbolic understanding but also a case of mouth muscles not working right and disability in motor planning – all the sounds together to make the word

After many many days - this weekend - I just paused from life and had a real Floortime weekend - and I really mean after many days
Lots of swing, sing swim and cuddle time
We even did Pretend Play with the Little People - I loved the weeknd and R was sooo happy
I have got to learn to press the "Pause" button on the rest of the world and on laundry and on cooking and Swiffering and just focus on the most precious part of my life which is R and A

Truly I am not in crisis mode any more – I do feel a pinch when I will hear a child much younger than Rohan chattering away and their mom/dad telling them to be quiet- but most of the time I just don’t compare –

And surprisingly many times I compare proudly – Last month a friend had come with two NT kids – one of them is Rohan’s age and I was bracing myself – but her kids though wonderful were just sooooo demanding and noisy and when they left my main thought – believe it or not was -“I don’t know how she does it “. I don’t bother about all the evaluations much either –

Earlier this month we were at the first meeting for preschool and two of the evaluators said two totally different things – one whom he liked and performed well for said he was amazingly bright and knew colors , shapes, numbers etc – the other said he was cognitively really low functioning and did not in fact know colors, shapes numbers the alphabet. ( he knows them all by the way and points them all out correctly when he is in the mood)

Yesterday DH and R met his neurologist ( we meet her every 6 months just to show her how Rohan is doing ) and she predicts that he will be a savant ( genius with some special skill ) . When two skilled professionals can evaluate him- within a matter of weeks - as a genius and as cognitively low ( read retarded ) – I don’t put too much weight on what any of them say – I think nobody knows and they are all making educated guesses. What I do know is that - I am not going to let anyone else define and classify Rohan and tell us what he will or will not do. I don’t see anybody making those predictions for NT kids – like your kid is so defiant and aggressive – in 20 years he will surely be in jail and doing drugs – why is the intense scrutiny reserved for those kids who are not the norm .
I truly hope for him to do great and have a happy good life and be independent one day !

Well enough of the philosophy – looks like I am not capable of brevity even in an email

Someday I feel like R really really really wants to talk - you should see the great look of expectation on his face as he looks at me as he sees a number Example if a number comes up on one of his videos - he will quickly drag me to the TV and then look at me eagerly till I say the number - yet when he tries to speak the word sounds nothing like the number - for example - "1" will be aaaaaaaaaaHe really wants to talk and I am starting to feel that he really can not - its not just a situation of "autistic kids dont think symbolically , the think in pictures"its that he actually physically cannot Today DH mentioned it to his teacher and she said that his SLP also thinks so Duhhhhhh could have mentioned it Something else to research - in one ways its very discouraging - in another way I think its better to just face it and come up witha game plan