Friday, November 16, 2012

The end of Fall in Seattle

I am bored of hearing myself say that I am busy

You must be too - dear reader

And so I will leave it unsaid and instead try to capture bits of the season ( my favorite ) that just passed

Days as a Single mom

So DH is off to India for his High School reunion for 10 days

While I was really happy for him, I was very worried for R - as DH is the constant force in R's life

As always knowing that attitude is everything , I told R that while we would miss Papa,  we were going to have a real fun 10 days - mama and R

This is what I told myself as well ( its very important to me to be conscious of my attitudes because otherwise I can easily fall into the negative worry talk track )

A new babysitter

Single moms , my hat is off to you

It is such pressure to do it on my own

The babysitter  we get is really awesome though

As the days passed by I see her getting fonder and fonder of R

When I ask her if she had any expereince of Auties - she said that she has a little bit

But that R was really "a very normal" boy who has autism

Honestly I love it when people treat R and his autism as just a regular thing instead of making a big pathology out of it 
 
Another babysitter --our neighbor is also in love with him -

He loves being absolute baby with her- and since she loves babies and does not have any of her own - he is having the time of his life - being carried around everywhere  and generally made a big fuss over !

Glimpses of the other life
With DH gone, I get to experience that other side of R's life that I don't usually get to see

Like waiting at the bus stop

Always I am afraid of missing the bus and we are there early  and we play games

R loves the sign of Amli ( he loves when things are labeled )
We read all the signs around us and sometimes we sing and dance

I loved that I got to start R's day  ( and mine ) with joy

Mommy and R Dates

While DH is having a blast in Dehradun at his High School reunion
We are having a pretty good time ourselves

WHen did R become so easy to take to a restaurant - this is actually now one of his favorite things to do and we do this many times when DH is away

The other thing that R loves is Grocery shopping !!

OMG we dance and dance in the store aisles


This will be our last 2 weeks living in a downtown apartment and we do all the things that are only in downtown like playing in the big Bellevue Downtown Park

We run around the apartment - R like many auties LOVES elevators ( I think its the logic and certainty of all the floors in perfect order that he loves )
The new house
A huge amount of unpacking awaits us .

But I love the new house

 A new gorgeous park awaits. And now that the weather has turned cold and wet - there are usually not many people there anymore

I love the twilights and the sunsets on the lake . The cold air and the feeling that I am the only one in the world

The fall leaves are stunning - even parking lots and traffic jams offer views that will take your breath away

A birthday

OMG can you believe that R is 8 years old

We have asked him what he wants and all he wants is to stay in the Hilton

So we book a night in the Hilton

At first when he gets there , he is so excited , he cannot stop jumping

Then come the tears - There has been a misunderstanding - he believes we were going to go to the Double Tree and the Hilton garden inn

 I am so upset .

One of the things- I want most in R is to have a spirit of appreciation

I and DH let him know in no uncertain terms that he cannot be a spoiled brat

He quickly changes his attitude and we have a great evening  with pizza at the restaurant
And blows out a candle on a  desert cake

He eats icecream for the very first time and seems to like it too

DH and I talk about how we feel like when all is said in done, how lucky we feel to have had the chance to raise R

The way he has retained so much of his essential  babness and how we have had the chance to linger over a childhood that has unfolded in slow motion

How  truly gets pleasure is doing something - while the rest of us struggle to impress

Here he makes this crappy picture and sighs "Van Gogh That's Right"
Here he has designed a way of sticking the number 5 on one of his caps .( can you see that blue thing sticking out of his cap in the back )
here he has purloined one of our crystal vases to put his cheap plastic numbers in for they are so precious to him

The always wanting to be around me

Here he is waiting outside our kitchen, sprawled on the floor waiting for me to finish cooking

And the love

Always that endless love


Happy birthday sweet child of ours

All this time I try to teach you to be in tune with the world .

And then sometime  I stop and I let you show me all that I leave unheard
 

15 comments:

Deb said...

Yea, thanks for the update! And Happy Birthday to R! Your pictures remind me of staying in Seattle downtown for a week...the grocery store looks familiar. :) Nice to hear how you are all doing...

Kim said...

Happy Birthday R! I'm so glad to read about how things are going out West for your family. Love the photos and I hope the move into your new house goes smoothly in a couple weeks!

Þorgerður said...

Happy birthday dear R. Wishing you all the best from across the sea.

Bright Side of Life said...

You live in such a beautiful area. A huge Happy Birthday to R.... He is growing up so nicely.

Tanya Savko said...

Such a beautiful post! I love how you ended it. And a very Happy Birthday to R! So glad the move went well and you are enjoying your new home. xo

Looking for Blue Sky said...

In ways it sounds as though it has been a very busy and stressful month, and yes you sound so positive! Happy birthday to your lovely boy and thanks once again for the snapshot of your life and the ever gorgeous photos x

Yuji said...

Love that so many great things are happening to all of you. It must be very reassuring to find a good babysitter in your new city. And to know that you are now more easily able to go to restaurants and grocery stores with R. And that he was able to quickly change his attitude so that you were able to celebrate his birthday so nicely. Happy birthday to R, and happy diwali to you all.

robin said...

Loved your pictures and seeing how you all have been doing. Glad you've found babysitters who love R like you do! SOoooo proud of him for trying ice cream! I know you miss your hubby but am glad you get to see a different aspect of R when he's not there! Happy 8th Birthday R!!

macjo said...

I would have teared up hearing a babysitter say that. I want so badly for Liv to feel like she fits in, but also recognize the ways in which she works her butt off just to do that. The hard work that goes into distinguishing between someone's name and title.

It's amazing how our kids are able to reframe their thoughts on things like going to the Hilton and deciding that they're happy.

Kris said...

Happy 8th birthday to R! I am so happy to see your post. Your posts always inspire me!

Lauren Greene said...

What a beautiful post. I love the update, and hearing about all the strides R has made. It is hard to believe our babies are 8!

JoyMama said...

Did my prior comment publish? What I said was a Happy Birthday to R, and that I particularly loved the phrase: "the chance to linger over a childhood that has unfolded in slow motion"

We have that too with Joy, when we take the time to revel in it.

Blessings!

Stories Untold said...

Beautiful! Loved going through the togetherness of this lovely mother and child!
A very HAPPY birthday to R and to his parents for raising him so well.

May all his wishes be granted!

danette said...

Happy birthday R!! Hope your hubby had a fun trip, and glad you and R got to enjoy some mommy-son time too :).

Barbara TherExtras said...

Celebratory congratulations to R and all his loving family on the anniversary of his birth!

Reading your lovely post is such a good feeling!

Floortime Lite Mama

On my life as the mother of an adorable 5 year old with Autism and Apraxia