Monday, March 5, 2012

Living in the now


Worry about our kids future is something all parents do

But for mums and dads of special needs kids –worry takes on a whole new dimension

We worry about what the future will look like.We worry who will love them, when we  are gone

I thought  about worry yesterday.

 When I read a friend’s blog and she talked about the worries of her daughter’s future .

Another mother commented on her post by linking on to another article.

In this way, I landed on this beautifully written depressing article.

You know the kind of article I am talking about

The first-person account of a worst-case outcome

As soon as I clicked on the link, I recognized it.

I had already read the article 3 years ago .

It was such a beautiful article written by a sensitive and caring mother .

 I remembered how sad and hopeless it had made me feel  3 years ago.

But not this time.

For now I have realized, the importance of censoring what I read on the internet

Of reading, but not internalizing

Because many of us have the “extrapolation problem”

We read about one bad outcome and imagine that to be in our future

We have one bad incident with our child and we extrapolate that into an extreme.

The truth is that no one can predict our kids’ future

There are no guarantees of what is to come

Any rational being can see that this generation of autistic children is being supported like no other generation  and so we really cannot predict based on past generations.

But even besides that point

We should  hope for a better tomorrow because  a hopeful way of being, is an end in itself

A most powerful choice is our choice of what we focus on and what we think about

What we focus on is what will grow

I am constantly being interrupted in the writing of this article as my son is urging me to pack a picnic.

I listen to the eclectic list of items he thinks should be in the basket

I think how grateful I am that this magical child has taught to me to live in today

For its truly a gift of being on this road .And of being mum to R

Tomorrow will come when tomorrow comes 

For now there is the joy of today 

“Its not what if.. Its what’s now
 Author unknown 

This article is written for Hopeful Parents 

26 comments:

Yuji said...

Wow, what a beautiful post! I think most of us can relate to how we extrapolate things the way you describe. But you have come a long way in the past three years, and have developed a healthy attitude. Thank you for the wisdom and reminder. Yes, let us enjoy the joy of today.

Lauren Greene said...

Wow, amazing and beautifully written. You are such an incredible Mom to R. Your writing is inspiring.

lisa said...

As you can see, I'm a devoted reader. I am so glad to see the beautiful life you have grown into and honored to be your friend. But I keep coming back, because of your life lessons. They are always so uplifting for your family and your "direct audience", but I continue to recommend them to your "indirect audience"...that is all of us. While the details of your worries are specific to you, the amazing thing is that they translate to all parents for their children and also to one's own self. In no way am I minimizing your situation, as I dare not compare. However, I hope there is comfort in that the underlying fears and joys to be had are for all of us to learn from you. Thank you, K...your blog is always a highlight for my day!

Di said...

K, another beautifully written blog post from you. Of course, we all worry about the future of our children when we are gone. You know that it scares me! I do agree with you that we must live for today and enjoy the moment. I can and I do, although I need a little back up plan just in case!! ;)

Deb said...

Excellent. So very true. The only way to live is with hope.

Julie said...

I love it! My positive-shot-in-the-arm to start off the day! :)

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Thank you so much DI
I totally agree with you BTW on the planning for the future
Its the awake in the night worrying while doing nothing about that I am trying to reduce in myself

Floortime Lite Mama said...

lisa thank you so so much

Floortime Lite Mama said...

thanks so much Lauren XO XO XO XO

Floortime Lite Mama said...

thanks so much Lauren
I was really inspired by the quotes you quoted in your recent post where the message was "be the change you want to see "

Kris said...

Beautiful post! It does no good to worry, it does not accomplish anything. This post reminds me of the importance of hope.

ggop said...

I'm with Julie. I really need reminders to stay positive. Its so easy to get caught in the downward spiral of worry..

Secret Sunshine said...

Lovely. This made me smile. So simple and honest, and yet, so elegant. And right!

Lizbeth said...

Thank you for such a beautiful reminder. Thank you.

Valerie Foley said...

It's lovely to read you under your own name!
Thank you for calming my raging brain.

:)

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Thanks Val
You mean you dont like me posting as Aaron Devries LOL
For readers who did not go to the Hopeful Parents site --something went wrong when I was logging on and my post showed up as written by Aaron Devries :-)

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Thank you so much Julie,kris, Deb, Secret Sunshine, Ggop and Lizbeth

Floortime Lite Mama said...

ahhh I managed to fix it

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Great to read something positive today as the future of my kids is on my mind - and a perfect topic for 'Hopeful' Parents x

Þorgerður said...

the frightful future the stay in the now the do not fret about the past. looping around and around.
I love your writing and it is good to read something positive.
Hope and happiness to you too.

kathleen said...

I jus love how you write. :) Yes-tomorrow is tomorow...living in the now..in the today...important to remember. :)

rhemashope said...

your writing always has a way of calming and centering me. thank you for your wisdom.

Marsupial Mama said...

Thank you for this beautiful post! I agree with your position wholeheartedly...

Words to drink in, remember and live by.

One more reason why I've tagged you with the Kreativ Blogger Award. :)

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Thanks so much marsupial mama - loved reading your list !

Floortime Lite Mama said...

right back at you Jeneil
your writing moves me so much

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Thanks so much Porgerour, Kathleen and looking for blue sky

Floortime Lite Mama

On my life as the mother of an adorable 5 year old with Autism and Apraxia