The last days of winter: Of small pleasures & lazy floortime

Ahhh what a thrill it gives me to write the name of this post .

 This winter has been one of the dreariest .

 No delightful snow , no sled rides .

Just great  endless grey skies and dreary rain

I am collecting pictures from my iphone  and piecing together the last days of winter from these


Small Pleasures 


The other day, while coming back from a work trip at an airport store, I and a collegue are browsing over a rack of magazines

It suddenly occurs to me how much every magazine that is for women is actually "from"women

Everything is about how to be in better shape, more organised, perform better

There is actually a magazine dedicated to the posterior- called GLUTES.

Even summer is not to be looked forward do but has to be met with performance anxiety because its  now "swim suit season"

Why do we do this to ourselves?

(DH is someone I often envy as he has a very simple attitude to life and it really comprises maximizing joy and not caring about what anyone thinks.  )

Surely we are not put into this life to clean kitchens, cook meals and lose weight.

I have been looking for things that give me pleasure just because they do.

Like my clothes

So one day I spend an hour arranging scarves in a drawer that no one will see but me

and

I make time to take long walks whenever the sun is out and take such pleasure in the flowers and Jane Austen on my Iphone

Two of my friends in the neighborhood I make impulse visits to.

Always I think that we dont have time, but everyone has 10 minutes

One of my friends has two auties and another has a husband who has been severely ill for a while  .

Both these women inspire me and we have the special bond that all people have been made to take the "scenic route" in life

I prioritize date lunch whenever I can - even if I have just an 45 minutes !

I and DH are also trying out new lunch places- we always try to see if we can avoid talking about work or autism logistics (though this is unavoidable to an extent )

Sometimes happiness comes spontaneously, despite all difficulty  to me .

Those times I feel like the Camus line "in the midst of winter, I found within me an invincible summer "

And sometimes I have to work really hard at it .

But always I focus on it

FLOORTIME

We are doing a peculiar kind of floorime these days -

A lot of loving and hugging and kissing and physical activity  .

Lots of lazy outside time anyday that there is sun

 Lots of impromptu picnics

And walks

I truly think that there is something in the unconditional acceptance and taking joy in a person's company that is deeply therapeutic to a child .

Its as though the child realizing that you do not have any agenda - opens his heart even more

R is seeking me out more and more - I literally cannot do anything without him at once bringing whatever he is doing to me (here I am trying to do some stretches )

(DH says he looks like a baby monkey in this picture - and I agree )

On the weekends we spend a lot of the morning lounging around lazily ... here  he is coloring in unmade bed even though we have been awake for a while

I resist the inner voice that tells me to "get ready" (for what?)

These luminous moments are the whole point of life

Strictly speaking, this is lazy floortime

Too much following the lead .

Too little building on it and challenging.

But we are getting a lot of joy out of this.

And, even though he does not seem so happy about school, there are some things that are spontaneously developing in him

For instance, for the first time I can make him interested in something that is interesting to me

This is a very sophisticated part of joint attention

For the first time in my life, I had the experience of driving with R in the car - have a fire-engine pass by making the sound - and pointing it out to R and R looking and telling me what it was

The other day for the first time ever, we played a very brief Hide & seek

Its something I could not have ever imagined  - that R would close his eyes and count to 10 while I hid and then he would find me

How did this magical thing happen?

These things are wiping away all the worry of some of his reading comprehension challenges at school ( which we are working with his therapists diligently on)

I truly think there is something about being fully present with all of our mind and heart .

Of taking great joy in the child we have, not some 2.0 version of that child - is very healing to both parent and child.

As I put R to bed , I firmly erase all the running commentary of the multiple to do lists( autism list, office list , chorelist , social lists) in my head

(How many precious bedtimes have I wasted thinking about the dishwasher that is waiting to be loaded?)

I think just of this sweet child and how much we enjoy him


Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough

                               Lullaby Dixie Chicks