Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Baby’s First Halloween

Well the "baby" is almost six

But that is what it feels like

DH and I have gone through the motions every year – not wanting to deprive R of an occasion that was so important to all children his age , yet suspecting that it meant nothing.

But this year – things have finally clicked

His class teacher said that they were doing "career day" for Halloween

DH and I smiled ruefully when we saw the note and exchanged raised eyebrows

However- we are good sports

And so we asked his therapist to show him a list of flashcard of "career people "

She said doubtfully that he showed some interest in the doctor

DH and I laughed at this for this is such an Indian stereotype – right after curry and spelling bees ( the joke goes – mom is telling daughter – "you can be Whatever you want ,……neurologist, general surgeon , etc and you can marry whoever you want – neurologist , psychiatrist, etc" )

SO DH went and got a costume

"Cant believe I paid 40 bucks..luckily its big enough so he can wear it for the next few years "

And so the day of "School Halloween"comes

DH has told R about being a doctor last night and has packed his costume in his school bag

But in the morning R keeps wailing and crying " no school .. no school "

We keep asking why he does not want to go to school

Finally he writes "Docter" on the frig

And then we finally comprehend – he thinks there will be a doctor appointment at the school

So we explain to him that he will be the doctor

We put on his costume – show him his name written on it R, MD

Oh how fast the tears vanish .

Knowing he will be the torturer not the torturee is all he needs to know

And school Halloween is great

On Sunday, for neighborhood Halloween, I am feeling too lazy

But DH forces me to go

"His teacher said he practiced" he says , working on my well-developed guilt muscle

R is absorbed in the intricacies of using "ou" and "ow" in words on a video he has found on youtube and tells me "no costume "

At his moment a HUGE gaggle of kids comes to our house in costume and as I hand out candy

As soon as R sees these kids, his mood changes

He does his excited happy dervish dance and rushes to get his costume

Luck is on our side and in our first stop is Lucy and she not only makes a huge fuss of him but also has his favorite candy "blue raspberry dum dum"

R informs all our neighbors that "we wish you a happy Halloween "( this is a modification of his favorite Christmas song ) and stares at them unblinkingly –

He also refuses to take any candy ( since the Blue Dum Dums and Junior Mint are not being offered by any other house )

But he is so cute and they are so nice that we have a great time

And at the end of each visit he crows "more trick or treat"

I think of my friend Jos's words when she spoke about her daughter

I believe L will do everything, but in her own time. I don't mind … she can take all the time she needs … but I have faith she will do it all."

And she is right

Baby's first Halloween has come 5 years late

Baby's first Halloween has taken a dress rehearsal in school and 5 real life attempts - for it to take on meaning

But its no less joyful for that

Happy Halloween


Þorgerður said...

Happy happy Halloween. Happy times to you doctor and hope he administering blu dum dums. :)

Niksmom said...

And the celebration is all the sweeter for his efforts and your patience. Many hugs and smiles. xo

Janmomof2 said...

That is absolutely awesome!!! We have the refusal of candy too which I think is welcomed by people versus the kids who try to grab fistfuls!!

Big Daddy Autism said...

Awesome! Who cares if he is 6 or 60! As long as he had fun.

JoyMama said...

Oh, that's wonderful! (And I love your new fall blog design.)

Anonymous said...

i love how he wrote "Docter" on the fridge. R is amazing. so happy that all three of you enjoyed Halloween!

Anonymous said...

beautiful. what a happy halloween.

Anonymous said...

beautiful. what a happy halloween.

Lynn said...

Baby's First it! And sooo true. Sometimes our kids are a little late to the party. Audrey would have had bad associations with doctors after all of them that she's seen. So cute that he got more into it after seeing the other children...bravo!

Kim said...

Love this! I'm so glad you all had a good time!

Mr. Daddy said...

Good thing come to those who wait..:o)

Lyndsey said...

That is so great! I almost brought the girls by to see if you guys were participating in Halloween this year, but I was afraid that by the time we made it to your house, they would be over it and I would have to drag them down the street. :) I'm so glad that he had a great time!!

Rachel said...

Oh I am so glad he had a good time!

And frankly, I wouldn't have taken unfavorite candy either, hee hee! :)

He looks marvelous as a doctor!

Anonymous said...

In your usual word for R: Perfect!

That was another heartwarming & fun read! Thank you! Barbara

Trish said...

How wonderful! I love that he is willing to consider ideas and change his mind, and I think career day is a great idea. Very clever. :)

Maddy said...

We're gearing up for Guy Fawkes night - meaningless to Americans!

robin said...

Oh my goodness! I love that he took an interest, practiced and ventured out doing the real thing!! He looks absolutely too cute in his doctor's coat! Wouldn't it be awesome if thirty years from now, we'd be seeing him in the 'practicing' the real thing...

kathleen said...

Fantastic post! Loved the doctor jokes..;0 His own way-his own is the constant mantra in my head..:)

danette said...

Yay!!! So glad he wore his costume and had a great time :). I love how your friend put it, that our kids will do everything in their own time. That's been our experience too.

This part "DH and I have gone through the motions every year – not wanting to deprive R of an occasion that was so important to all children his age , yet suspecting that it meant nothing.

But this year – things have finally clicked" is totally us too, it finally clicked for Bitty this year, and he's almost six too. It was well worth the wait :)

Anonymous said...

I love the title of this post. And how well he understood once he understood! AND, how unbelievably darling and fitting that costume is for him.

Anonymous said...

we leave Halloween costumes out year round for pretend play~hang it on a hook and see if he'll play! Those dress up clothes are a favorite of friends who come over to play. Career outfits are perfect!


Lisa said...

Awwww....Congratulations on your fist Halloween R!
You made a lovely doctor.

Heartwarming....LOVE IT!

Anonymous said...

oh, I loved this!!! Happy Halloween, R!!

Another random week in 2020

 Everything that I could say about 2020 has probably been said.  On the whole,  its not as bad as it could have been because I am with my tw...