Saturday, June 12, 2010

SOOC Saturday : The eyes of wonder

Move out of the way “ says another friend of mine with exasperation “ why do you always stand in the way

She is speaking to her grown up daughter who is cognitive challenges

"I used to get together with my friends in the Autism Society .. we would get together and vent about our lives"a fellow mum will say .. in front of her child

"He took forever to toilet train" a father will disclose .. 

again in front of their child

( to be clear .. its not the venting.. or the sharing .. that I mind ... its the in-front-of-the-child aspect that bothers me )

When I sometimes see the mums of other special needs kiddos -- especially  grown up kiddos – my heart skips a beat

Even when there is love --- a lot of love

There is also the under current of  irritation

A sense that the child-adult is slowing everybody else down

A treating of that child/ child-adult as though they would not feel patronised or condescended to when this was being done .. would somehow not mind

Even though R has many special needs, I have never felt this way about R

It seems that he and I and DH have a magic world all our own and we see our life and our son with enchanted eyes

Often we share a secret smile at something clever and adorable that R did

Wrapped up in a bubble are we

Two parentheses around this child

R between us coccooned in our love

I doubt R has any idea that he is any different – if anything - he probably takes it for granted that he is the best

Indeed we tell him everyday that we are the happiest parents in the world

There are many things I hope and pray from for the future

As the years pass by, there are many things I pray will change

I pray that R will blossom as he grows

But one thing I hope that remains the same

The eyes that can see the magic  in this child

For more fun with SOOC  and to meet more bloggers that share a slice of their life - maybe even participate yourself - visit Melody  here


Lyndsey said...

I am so blessed to have you as a friend and to witness the love you have for your child.

Julie said...

Oh yes. This was beautiful. R is so lucky to have such a wonderful mommy who thinks this way...but then I know you feel blessed to have him as well. It is truly beautiful to see. Once again you wrote something that explains something that has been bothering me. Two things, actually. I have been unhappy with Daniel's speech therapist. 1. talking about some things in front of him

2. the underlying irritation

Thanks for helping me put words to it =)

Niksmom said...

"Two parentheses around this child, R between us coccooned in our love..." This speaks VOLUMES to me. It is how I see the relationship my husband and I have with our son, too. I hope, too, that the eyes whic see the wonder and magic of our children remain ever-present in their lives.

Happy Saturday!

Kris said...

Beautiful! I too love Alex with abandon and he knows he is loved and loved well. I sometimes have to work on the irritation part of it. For me, I thinks some of it is having 4 kids and Alex having to keep up with them in their world. Our whole family sometimes needs to work on our patience and this was a great reminder!

kathleen said...

Lovely as usual..I too share the same kids are..well, there aren't really any words to express the joy and love I feel for them.
I make sure that I surround my kids with words full of substance and meaning-and love. Yes, we all have bad days..I know I have had days when I have wanted to run away from home..with four kids how could I not? :) But that has to do with me-never them. They are the most wonderful people I have ever had the privilege of knowing...

Mr. Daddy said...

“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
K I think that you are a very wise person...

SoCo mom said...

What a wonderful and painfully true post. Even though I know my son takes in more than he shows, I sometimes forget and talk over him. I am trying to treat him like a 5 year-old, not a 3 year-old. He is a smart kiddo and deserves respect.

I love that picture of the two of you sitting with your feet in the river. What a beautiful way you care about your son.

Rachel said...

Good Lord...

I think that is the very best definition of parenthood: "Two paretheses around this child".

Your mind and your writing are captivating and soul-touching. I adore your relationship with your son - who is indeed the very BEST for you and your husband (as Itty Bit is the BEST for Mr. Daddy and I).

You are amazing my friend. And I heart that picture of you and R!

danette said...

"Two parentheses around this child, R between us cocooned in our love..."

That is a lovely description :). R is truly blessed, as are you and your hubby.

Lisa said...

K you rock the word Love!
Me likey how you love so well!
I am sooo grateful for having met you.


Þorgerður said...

This is a hard one K.
Respect and love and accept the boundaries and the limits.
I too hope that joy and respect will prevail and that the future will open many doors.
I love that photo of you guys

Kim said...

So beautifully written.

Unknown said...

That is a such a great attitude to have. Your son is very lucky that his mother is so loving!

Thanks for stopping at my blog, hope you come back again soon!

korin said...

Thank you for this beautiful post. I have to agree with many other posters, this line is just perfect...

Two parentheses around this child

R between us coccooned in our love

I'm going to have to steal it (and link you of course) because it so describes how I feel. <3

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