S is 20 years old
She is one of my son's therapists.
She posted on her Facebook wall this picture of R that she took with her mobile phone with the caption
"he makes my week... so thankful to have him in my life "
When girls her age spend their time thinking about make-up and boys - S spends all her time with people with special needs .
Its not just a career for her - she truly loves the people she helps
Its such a privilege to know people like her
One of my online friends said that you meet nice people in land of special needs
And its true
I dont know if its becasue when you see someone that has a chld with autism - you no longer have the pressure of pretending to be perfect
Where this need to look whole and strong come from ?
Probably a left over from our survival instinct.
Our desire to not show fear or weakness lest we fall prey to predators.
But we no longer need to pretend in front of someone like me
Like some new friends I made the this week .
The introduced themselves as B and B and I met them on my evening walk .
We talk about the superficial - how long we have stayed in the neighborhood, the many advantages of its location, the terrible weather we have been having
And then I see their child pointing to the moon and mention that it took a while for my son to do that becasuse he has autism.
After my mention of Autism - its like the converation deepens
She talks about her problems conceiving and her husband's battle with cancer
We have connected at a level that it would take years in the normal course of things
( In the normal course of things we would make promises to each other to come over for coffee ....
each new time we would meet we would exclaim about how busy we are but how we simply must get together soon ....and this would repeat..
Isnt that the normal way? But now no more .)
I dont know if its because the little stuff just does not matter anymore !
Whose kid is better at the soccer field?
Who is doing better at school?
It doesnt matter.
Or if its because sisterhood of special needs mums is a secret society
Where we have entered - ( albeit unwillingly ) - through baptism by fire.
Now we will do what we can to help each other out - because we are in it together .
So we connect with mums and dads deeply and more closely in this online world .. start cheering on kids we dont know in real life ( though really we do )
Is it simply a sort of natural selection where the professionals are concerned?
Because people who enjoy working in this field .. are simply nicer, stronger, more hopeful creed of people to start with
Or that this touches a kinder side of people
Or is it that the friends that remain.... those who reach out with a compassion and warmth ... are just the real deal
I dont know what it is
But this I do know
I now live in a parallel universe of a better kind of people.
Where kindness and goodness abounds
If the first big blessing of this special needs road are the grateful eyes with which we look at our child each step .. with nothing taken for granted ever
Then the second big blessing is the people we meet
And the both together?
Well, it can make for a lovely life
If we let it
We are just as happy as we choose to be, said Lincoln once.
And I choose
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