Saturday, March 27, 2010

SOOC Saturday : Oh the people we know

S is 20 years old

She is one of my son's therapists.

She posted on her Facebook wall this picture of R that she took with her mobile phone with the caption

"he makes my week... so thankful to have him in my life "

Just 20 and she carries the wisdom the world  with her.

When girls her age spend their time thinking about make-up and boys - S spends all her time with people with special needs .

Its not just a career for her - she truly loves the people she helps

Its such a privilege to know  people like her

One of my online friends said that you meet nice  people in land of special needs

And its true

I dont know if its becasue when you see someone that has a chld with autism - you no longer have the pressure of pretending to be perfect

Where this need to look whole and strong come from ?

Probably a left over from our  survival instinct.

Our desire to not show fear or weakness lest we fall prey to predators.

But  we no longer need to pretend in front of someone like me

Like some new friends I made the this week .

The introduced themselves as B  and B and I met them on my evening walk .

We talk about the superficial - how long we have stayed in the neighborhood,  the many advantages of its location, the terrible weather we have been having

And then I see their child pointing to the moon  and mention that  it took a while for my son to do that  becasuse he has autism.

After my mention of Autism - its like the converation deepens

She talks about her problems conceiving and her husband's battle with cancer

We have connected at a level that it would take years in the normal course of things

( In the normal course of things we would make promises  to each other to come over for coffee ....

each new time we would meet we would exclaim  about how busy we are but how we simply must get together soon ....and this would repeat..

Isnt that the normal way?   But now no more .)

I dont know if its because  the little stuff just  does not matter anymore !

 Whose kid is better at the soccer field?

Who is doing better at school?

 It  doesnt matter.

Or if its because  sisterhood of special needs mums is a secret society

Where we have entered - ( albeit unwillingly ) - through  baptism by fire.

Now we will do what we can to help each other out - because we are in it together .

So we connect with mums and dads deeply and more closely in this online world .. start cheering on kids we dont know in real life ( though really we do )

Is it simply a sort of natural selection where the professionals are concerned?

Because people who enjoy working in this field .. are simply nicer, stronger, more  hopeful  creed of  people to start with

Or that this touches a kinder side of people

Or is it that the friends that remain.... those who reach out with a compassion and warmth ... are just the real deal

I dont know what it is

But this I do know

I now live in a parallel universe of a better kind  of people.

Where kindness and goodness abounds

If the first big blessing of this special needs road are the grateful eyes with which we look at our child each step .. with nothing taken for granted ever

Then the second big blessing is the people we meet

And the both together?

Well, it  can make for a lovely life

If we let it

We are just as happy as we choose to be, said Lincoln once.

And I choose

For more fun with SOOC Saturday join melody at Slurping life


Mominin said...

Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing.

Mr. Daddy said...

K once again you have spoken to my heart, and on so many different levels.

Thank you for sharing your heart so openly.

Tara R. said...

I understand this completely. It's like some sort of radar and parents of special needs kids seem to be drawn to each other. Thank you for sharing this, it helps to know that we're not alone.

Michelle Pixie said...

Beautiful post! To be able to move past so much of the "fakeness" and get to the core of what really matters is so important, how great for you that you don't have to play all of those games.

I love the look of you new place! ;-)

Lisa said...

Beautiful post K,
I am honored to have met the people that I have met through Gage. Blessings come in disguises, you just have to look for them.


Amy @ Marvelous Mommy said...

Stopping by from SOOC Saturday linky!

robin said...

Reading this made me tear up.

Your posts are so lovely...

Love the new look of your blog!!

melody said...

I'm speechless; you said it all with purity of heart, love and eloquence.

Everything you said, I feel, too. There are so many beautiful people in my family's life that would not be here w/o the gifts of my sons. You are one of them.

The 3 Bishops said...

loved your post ! very touching ! Thank you for sharing.

TJ said...

Very true. And you, lovely lady, are among one of the best blessings on this journey for me. I mean that very sincerely. You are like a cool breeze and a breath of fresh air. A constant reminder of what is most important and that we do have the power to choose. A reminder that the real riches in life are in the simple moments and the choice to be present in them and celebrate them.

I loved your last post about your weekend, too - and thought how WONDERFUL it would be to be a child so loved, so considered in all things . . . with parents so in-tune and present and willing to engage in chasing butterflies if it is what your heart desired.

So glad to hear that Hanen is serving you all well. It sounds wonderful and I'm fascinated with our SLP's great suggestions. I really should look into taking a refresher as it was so long ago and we were (all) in such a different place then. Why not re-do a good thing, ya know?

Glad to see you're digging deep to find your eternal sunshine. (((hugS)))

Kim said...

Beautiful, beautiful! And so true, there is no pressure to be perfect in our world. Love this!

Linda S said...

love this post, beautiful! thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

We have passed the superficial in our meeting here. From now on we walk with our hands holding each other's. Barbara

JAMR said...

Beautifully written, K.

I love the new look on your blog, too!

Territory Mom said...

Wow, you said it all. I love the "baptism of fire", well written. Love the new look.

Anonymous said...

So pleased to consider you my sorority sister on this unexpected journey. Hate that it had to happen, but we're all better for it I do believe.


Anonymous said...

I like the new look!!! I love your posts. You put into words thoughts that I didn't know how to say.

Anonymous said...

Loved this post. So true and well written, as always.

Lisa said...

Let me know if you can watch the vidso now K...

Shana Putnam said...

Thank you so much for coming by my blog and commenting. I have enjoyed reading your post and plan to read more. We have several kids and one of my step sisters in my family who have special needs. I have 2 nephews who have Asperger's, 1 who has Neurofibromatosis Type 1, 1 nephew who was born this month who has club feet and my sister is mentally handicapped. I have a heart for special needs and it is a sweet place to be.

Jewelz said...

K I believe the C❤NNECTIONS we make in this world shape us, I thank you and my dear friend Lisa for being able to share such beautifully eloquent words/feelings with us. Your insights give me an insight into many different issues and for that I am grateful AND I am a better person.


Anonymous said...

SO good. SO true. SO very well said.

Thank you.

Lisa Christine said...

Beautiful post :)

JenRN said...

And I Choose...
Forget marketing or whatever it is you do for a living. You should be a counselor or motivational speaker or something. You have no idea how much your "poetry" has helped me. I am now out of the world of autism guilt, pain, despair, terror. It is not about the "cause" or the "cure". It is about giving my son all the love, joy, acceptance, and opportunity that only Mommy can provide. Thank You.

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