The end of summer

The end of many things

Summer is over

And out time in Knoxville is over too

Its a time of endings

And much as though I know of the importance of focusing on the new beginnings that are to come in September

I am in  mourning and in anxiety

What is adding to a lot of anxiety is that while we leave in a few days, we still don't know exactly where we will live ( my new employer provides corporate housing for a few weeks but they only tell you the address 72 hours before you move- - which means we will only know  next week where R will start school next Thursday and he will start school on Tuesday  )

Leaving a workplace I have loved is a wrench as well

And leaving our beloved therapists

DH is stressed too as he is taking care of all the logistics

Usually I depend on him to say "screw it" or "whatever will be, will be "

But these days he is tired too with all the work

Look how cute our kitchen looks with its new granite surfaces

We are explorers

Even with all this stress, both DH and I know we are making the right decision for our family and have no regrets

We know the first few months will be difficult but we are the sort of people that have moved to new places all our life and this is what we want

Some people believe in laying down roots, others want to explore.

Finding Perfect Moments

Some weeks life is perfect

Some other weeks life is not

But even in these bad stressful anxiety filled weeks there are so many perfect moments

And that is what I try to put the light on

R has had 3-4 sessions pretty much every day in the summer - but that still leaves a lot of time to be free and do what he wants

And he is really blossoming

3-4 year old skills coming

OMG the pretend play finally

How much time he spends wearing the Ming Ming costume from wonderpets -

How he makes us smile as he admires himself in the mirror with each article of the costume

While I am aware these skills are coming 4 years later than they should, if anything it gives me even more joy

( I was just talking to another mother on the phone the other day and we were talking about how much parenting an ASD kid is like extreme parenting - the worries can be low - but the joys - Oh my !!)

He is sooo loving to me
Miss S shared with me a set of word connections he had made the other day

How wonderful to see your child associate the word "love" with Mama?

I tear up just thinking about it

I often tell DH that we won the kid lottery

And we really did!


His cousin send him a Rakhi from India and I wanted to send a picture of his hand wearing it

R posed and said "hands say cheese"

The other day DH was exasperated when R dropped his Coromega and said "R you are being a Jaanwar" ( this means animal in Hindi  - a language thatR we think does not know )

But R did

He replied "woof woof, meaow meaow , fox fox"

DH and I burst out laughing

I love the way he explores and is interested in everything

Its a 3-4 year old stage a, but I don't think of it that way - its just a miracle to see his development unfold and we celebrate his interests with such joy !!

( I hope you are not bored reading about these miracles )

Connecting with my sister

My sister and I have discovered Wassup and we delight in sending each other silly expressions all day
Here is she - preening because her students got a prize( that is not blood on her forehead - its sindoor - vermilion that traditional married women put on their foreheads as a sign of being married- hers just got smudged  )

Here I am sending a look of stunned admiration

R and his Therapists

R is getting to spend a lot of time with his therapists

What touches me is how often someone will just volunteer to take him on their own

here is his beloved Mrs K - taking him to a football match

She has made a photo album for him titled "Th adventures of Mrs K and R " and it made me cry !! so sweet is she :-)


Therapy in new places

One thing we did not do earlier and we do a lot of now is do therapy in new places

We know biologically the optimal situation for neuronal growth is novelty + emotion

So why would we think it was good to always be in the therapy room

Here is Miss S and R - out for ice cream( though probably just a little went into his stomach )

We have been doing a lot of his sessions at the local Bounce House

The park, the library and the swimming pool are our other therapy rooms

Not that R is not anxious - I asked him how he felt about moving and he said he was "scared and happy "

He also bursts into tears a lot of sometimes spoils for a fight with me ( do your kiddos do that ?)

I am trying hard to stay calm and happy myself - as his moods feed off mine

All in all , the trick for happiness is to shine the light on the lovely bits and spend little time dealing on the difficult bits

How do you get through anxious times?
 

Reclaiming a childhood

We are moving

I am going through all of R’s old toys – sorting out the things we want to keep and the things we want to donate

I and my friends have talked about how painful this can be

For you are not really sorting through things, as much as you are sorting through the different versions of you when you bought those things

All those earlier incarnations of you with the different hopes and fears of each stage

The blocks that gave way to the flash cards

Then the pretend play sets

The endless flashcards

And all those things from super duper inc

I tried to do a sorting out a couple of years ago – but had to stop

Today, thankfully, it does not hurt

Time has healed so much

Autism has become our normal and R our perfect whole complete child .

I think of one of the worst things about the early years of parenting an autistic child is that you get robbed of the joy of having a little one

This precious time wasted away with worry and anxiety !!!

( this is the most important reason I keep wanting to help new parents be more hopeful and positive and staying in the present )

We develop eyes that see everything through the lens of pathology

Everything a trait of autism, all gifts as splinter skills

But one of the gifts of acceptance is how I can even look back at that time and think about all the light and sweetness that was and is R


I smile at the tattered "my first numbers book"( one of many first numbers book ) - how he would stare at the page that said "7" with the 7 brightly colored balls

Once it was a memory of autism –now it’s just a memory of something my little guy loved

So what if that Thomas Train Sets ,main attraction remained the number that was on them etc and were never quite played with in the typical ways

So what if stuffed toys meant nothing, while foam numbers meant everything

That is just what he liked and who he is

Our thoughts are powerful

With our thoughts not only do we create our present ,but we also create our past

For like the present, the past is also an interpretation

And now, when I look at old pictures –I don’t see a child with special needs and a mother with special pain

I just see a small fat cute child ..a mother that loves

In this way, a lovely babyhood is reclaimed

This post is written for Hopeful Parents at www.hopefulparents.org

The end of July

Since we are going to move in a month ( OMG I cannot believe it – 6 weeks ago we had NO idea we were going to end up moving across the country)  this last two weeks have been the emotional and physical logistics of getting ready for the move

Luckily- we are a pretty good team and divide up all the work -  DH is doing a large chunk of all the house and move related stuff – while I am trying to connect with parents there to find the best therapists , schools etc

There are so many things to do

1. Putting the cabin up for rental ( getting it rental ready)
2. Putting the house for sale ( and getting it sale ready)
3. Finding a house in Seattle  in the school district we want ( and something we can afford for the house prices in Seattle are making our eyes bug out )
4. Finding schools
5. Finding new therapists
6. Getting R , our beloved  therapists and us ready for a separation L- this one is truly hard as our therapists have become our friends and most of them have seen him from when he was a baby and did not know his own name

In the midst of it all life is also going on

A BOUNCE party

A friend of mine who adopted a child a year ago had her birthday party at a Bounce house

Its weird but though mom and daughter are of different racially – DH and I both noticed that the daughter  has started to look like mom

In fact two of my friends have and they are both here with their now complete families

Watching the happy family makes me all gooey eyed about adoption – its just such a wonderful thing

OMG R is having a blast – while as always he tries to avoid the kids – he is actually really excited about both the party and then the cake and pizza afterwards

The kid that is looking away ? yes that is my kid

( One thing gives me a pang – when R asks me several times to come sit with him and I realize that we are his only friends L )

A trip to Seattle

So we spend 4 days in Seattle in what my new employer calls a househunting trip

We are kind of excited about the trip as it feels like a short holiday and also we will be getting to the meet the lovely Rachel

R is super excited - the beloved mrs G has given him a "suitcase" which will be carried everywhere

But some of our joy is quelled by the vagaries of United - OMG how many delays can we have

R is a good traveler but I am really worried he will melt down

 He is happy to be drinking real sprite ( no water mixed, ) his Ipad and his black Doritos..

I am feeling very sorry for myself but the sight of a gorgeous woman striding along the concourse in Denver holding an icecream - with a prosthetic leg - helps me reframe my whiny thoughts
And  the view of Mt Rainier as we land is spectacular

We work with a really nice realtor and see a lot of Houses

One  houses has  really gorgeous view but the house is completely crappy and out of our price range – Dh falls in Love with it a little

Can you blame him ?

Another house has a dream eat in nook and I fall in love with it but DH is alarmed by the small closet in the master bedroom guessing ( correctly ) that he will not get any space in that at all

Since our rule is to never go with another’s veto – both these “dream houses “ are out

And we have put in an offer for a practical place – this is a short sale though- so it means a really long waiting ( the worst kind of wait – “Hurry up and wait “)-

We are perfectly willing to rent even if it is renting for a year so we are good

 Wish us luck – we know emotionally we are in a good place to bid for a short sale – not desperately in love, willing to rent for a while - please send us good vibes!!

Still it’s going to be a long and tiresome process, which we need to be mentally prepared for

R likes the area in general ( mostly becasue it has an Embassy Suites :-) ) and many vending machines and lots of pizza

Such is his simple heart

The new therapists

Academic focused ABA therapists

The first set of therapists we go to are a group of ABA therapists that come recommended by  a parent I got in touch with through the yahoo group ( thank you S and R )

We go there on Monday and they are running a social skills camp

It’s a little crowded – plus R is very very upset because 2 children are crying loudly ( this will eventually ruin our day as R is in an epic meltdown – crying and mewling to go back to his comfort zone – the horribly dated  embassy suites ) Our realtor ( also mother  of a special needs child ) scores very highly with us for being kind and making no comments on his terrible behavior

As punishment that night , I skip his whole bed time routine and he has to go to bed by himself – no story , no cuddles nothing !! Take that kid !

 What I like though is that the the head of the therapist is smart and makes R talk about why he is upset and make a drawing of the crying boy

He also suggests that we have some sessions in the office to work on social skills ( this raises my mommy hackles of course as I think R will have bad associations with that office but my cerebral side ( DH ) notices that there may be some benefit in it

We show him what we are doing with Teach me Language and he He shows us some of the things he is doing with another child ( who is says is “just like R “ ) where he is breaking down reading comprehension into tiny bits to enhance reading comprehension

Play based speech therapist-
R is VERY stressed out the next day as – he is anticipating a repeat of the previous day ( crying kids ) – so he is full of vocal stims and scripting . I am rather intrigued by how much he stims with scripts these days ( obviously we do not try to stop him as this is his coping mechanism as he is feeling anxious- and its much more important for him to feel relaxed then “impress” the new therapist )

I love the new speechie – she talks a lot about play techniques ( you can imagine how that goes straight to my heart ) And is completely accepting of R
Plus she is willing to do home visits another huge plus for us as it cuts down his time in the car

Now for the best part of the trip

Meeting Rachel , Mr Daddy and Itty Bit

Do you know the family that lives over at Once Upon a Miracle

Well you should definitely visit Rach's blog cause she writes fabulous posts

OMG this is so incredibly EPIC 

WONDERFUL

FANTASTIC

I have asked Rach to please makes sure that Itty does not feel bad if R does not engage with him

We have also spend time in the park to make sure R is feeling unstressed about meeting new people  ( as you know sensory stuff and playing outside is my prevention and cure for everything ) and it’s a GORGEOUS day

We meet in the downtown of a little neighboring town
They make a long drive to come and see us ( Thank you Rach  and Mr Daddy)

It is so wonderful - there is no awkward silence- Rach and I are like long lost buddies

Mr daddy and DH look like they have known each other for ever

Everything you think about these three from their blog, is true

They exude goodness, sweetness and light

We eat pizza, take walks and its like we have known them all our lives

Itty bit is fabulous - OMG he loves hamming for the camera

 – R and he are busy with their separate screens –

from time to time itty bit tries to engage and seems completely cool with R’s silences 

There is one thing fantastic about the special needs world -

Through it you will get in touch with some of the best people you ever knew

I

MORE Teach me Language by Dr Freeman and Dake:4 techniques

Here finally is the continuation of the post where I first talked about Dr Freeman's and Dake's  fabulous book "Teach me Language " that the wonderful  M  referred me
Its here on Amazon

This will probably be my last post on "Teach me language" becasue I think I have covered some of the generally applicable things here.

For  more you will need to read the book

Dr Freeman also has a very nice website called "The Autism Pundit".
( I love her slogan "Question Everything . Expect Evidence")

This spring summer these are the 3-4 techniques we - the fabulous trio of Mrs K , Miss S and Mrs G - have been using with a lot of success

The beauty of these tools is that they can be used perennially , they make a ton of sense, they give the language scaffolding and practice that our kids need.

 Finally, they mimic typical language development

For me the most important thing is that we are getting R's own original thoughts and these are priceless

SIMPLE WORD ASSOCIATION  

Why  do we we do this?

The idea is to

1. have the child see and verbalize the relationship between words 

2. develop the ability to answer why questions and to understand the concept of "why-because"    

There are two ways to do simple word association 

WAY 1

Therapist writes down  a word pair

She  asks R to give the reason why they go together.

For example, therapist writes down " green .... sprite " and asks "R why do these words go together "?

 Therpaist introduces a prompt in writing like " "because a ----- is ......."

Once R  figures out the meaning of "is" we will introduce other concepts like tastes , sounds , feels

example therapist writes down "sweet... sprite" or "fizzy.. sprite"   

WAY 2

Therapist suggests a word  : a noun

Example:

Therapist writes down "flight of a bumble bee"  and then asks  child
"R what goes with the flight of a bumble bee?"

When Ro answers "Miss sadie's phone"

Then therapist writes down what R said  and then asks "why do" flight of the bumble bee" and "miss sadie's phone "   go together ?

WHY : the idea is to help the child express his/her ideas without having to frame them in a sentence  this will show the therapist the gaps in the child's general knowledge 

CONTINGENT / TURN TAKING WORD ASSOCIATION 

The therapist begins by saying a word and writes it down.

The child must say a word that is associated with the word and the therapist writes it down.

Then the therapist says a word that is associated with the word and so on    "snow-- january...new year ".

The idea is to complete a whole page  

Here is one made my R and his Miss S

I am enthralled with the  fantastic association R did with monster - "yellow eyes"

 I have fantastic associations that Mrs K and R did - as during this time Mrs K was getting married. She took this opportunity to teach R about weddings and as R went to her wedding - he had many opinions about this :-)

SUGGESTION :

If the child has difficulty completing the whole page then go sentence by sentence

WARNING:
 it may take many times before the child picks this up - persevere .
DO not allow the child to come with the same train of thought over many turns
VARIATION : after the set is complete do the "why do --- and --- go together ?
like this...


 BUILDING ANALOGIES

Take the contingent word sheet and point out the related words and describe the relationship between the two words

Here is one made by R and Mrs G ( those are the initials on the top - this is one clever thing that Mrs G does - by putting his initial on the top - she provides a reminder that its his turn )

Tell me does not the last one make you smile

TALKING ABOUT A TOPIC 

In this the therapist asks the child to choose a topic ( in the example I will show below, "Beach" was the topic R chose)

The therapist then asks the child to talk about the topic

The child gives a few words ( in this case  R chose- Pebbles, Sand, press your toes and Rocky )

Then the therapist uses each of those words to build a sentence and writes it down

In this way, R is expressing his own ideas and Mrs G is helping him turn his ideas into full sentences

This is genius becasue its a window into R's world  - you can see that R experienced the beach in a sensorial way - clearly he expereinced it( I think unpleasantly )  through his feet and it explains why R does not like beaches :-)

 or

If you do nothing else just the writing down of questions and answers has been so great

What I never thought of - is that a guy who does not process well auditarily - does not just miss out on what others say to him but  possibly does not hear what he says himself

In this way, he gets to explain his own true feelings and bargain

Our motto with R has always been First, love and it has served us well

But I think any time we attempt to teach a child our moto has become "First understand and then customize to your child's needs"

Summer days!

Summer says Sensory diet

So the BIG theme for summer this year as it always is with R is SWIMMING !!!

That is all he wants to do

And since his is a FAR preferable obsession to us than the Wii or the Ipad - we really go with it

We have a pool at the cabin ( but not at home ) though R has been asking us to get an "Intesk" pool ( he is very brand aware and wants to biggest and most expensive one ( which was a real pain last year to clean also the water was icy cold almost constantly )

We have gone so far as to ask Miss Sadie to take him to her apartment's pool and do therapy there

Boy, I have never seen R run to therapy like he does here

We  also try hard to ensure he is doing other physical things and tempt him with things like this -

have you ever played with a Giga Ball ?

OMG R loves his

Honestly we keep him enticed with all these physical activity because otherwise all he wants to do is

We had some visitors to the cabin recently - what I am amazed by is how comfortable R is with visitors once he gets to know them

Look at the way R is leaning on their daughter

They had a lovely dog and while he avoided Raafi in the beginning,  he was good with them too

Developmental leaps 

R always seems to take developmental leaps when school is out ( which makes me worried  - is school bad for him )

For instance he is copying what he sees on videos - there is a character called Charlie on babyTV.com ( I blush dear reader , when I write babytv  for R is 7 years old !)  that R is copying

He perishes to ride his old tricycle ( gifted by my friend as he took such a fancy to it when we visited her house )
as his hero Charlie does here

Like his hero, Charlie invites 1 to ride with him , R too invites me to ride with him
( which, in fact , I do  after checking that no one is around )

We ride to our neighbors - looking like a Extra terrestrial - as our movement is mostly through me propelling us with my legs

Where we have a long chat with Miss Lucy - R's true love - he is always yearning to go Miss Lucy's house .

Though while he is there he will only sit with her for the shortest intervals of time and most of the time he will want to explore her house ( so different from ours and yet so similar !)

he also frequently brings up Annie of Little Einsteins on his Ipad  and poses with her in the mirror

Then the naughtiness!!

If we  make a rule - R will find a loophole

For instance, I told him that he was not to use electronics before 6 am ( as sleep is becoming a bit of a problem again:-( )

So he basically sneaks away in his room and plays with the Ipad till its 6 and then rushes into our bedroom as soon as the clock has crossed over 5.59 am
( and I did not know that he could tell time )

Everything he is asked not to do- climb on the chair to get to the Wii Discs, candy , etc  - he interprets to mean that as long as he is not caught doing it , he is fine ( my dear friends- while this is exasperating, its also very good as he is CONSTANTLY busting all the stupid "theory of mind" autism ideas)

Now on the one hand he is showing a lot of social 3 year old development  - this is coupled with a lot of cognitive
Like how he has taught himself the multiplication tables to 10 - OMG he loves number patterns ( for that is what multiplication really )

or how he constantly makes connections

Like DH and I were just talking about the Chicken Salad we had at a restaurant yesterday , R piped in and say "on the applebee's menu"

This is great

One, he is trying to join the conversation , second,he remembers the Applebees menu though we go there rarely , and that when we went there he paid attention to those parts of the menu that he had no interest in himself

I am a mother still new to the joy of declarative language and joy rushes through me every time I see R make a comment like " Papa played with shovel" ( pointing to a flower bed that DH and my MIL have rebed- though surely they would not like their hard work described such)

or when he tells me "mama come to play with tricycle"  a full sentence and in invite !!!( though his idea of me and him playing is him sitting like a lord and me pushing him like a minion )

Our closeness 

Is back - thank you god !!

I think his seeming to retreat into himself in June was really because I was traveling every week.
 He is back to being a snuggle bug !!

Our big news 

 I cannot say enough good things about his home therapists whom we were so lucky to find .

Our fabulous friends - like the ones who came to take us out to dinner yesterday are so close to our hearts

 His teachers too are very nice . They have really good intentions but resources are very strained and often the follow and DH and I have made the decision to leave the South :-(

In September we are moving to the Pacific North West !

( one great thing will be that I will be able to finally meet Rachel and Mr Daddy - the other great thing is that this area is very good for Autism )

While I know, we are really going to miss this small Southern town and its wonderful people, I really know we will regret not taking this chance either

If you ever think about parallel universes, moving to a new place is very akin to moving to a parallel universe

I am trying to focus on all the good things about the move and not be sentimental about this all the things we are leaving behind

But one wonderful thing about you, my dear bloggy friends, is you are my friends, wherever I go

Teach me language by Freeman& Dake : General Priniciples

Earlier  this year DH and I were wondering how to add some structure to our home program without ABA .

That is when  I discovered this book owing to my good friend M's recommendation

This is a book written in 1997 by Sabrina Freeman and Lauralei Dake .. it seems a little pricey on paper ( on amazon here its for around 55 dollars ) but its worth every penny

  Its a very easy read

  Anyway back to M,

M has two very bright boys with autism and hyperlexia and she has given me a lot of good advice over the years

Her BEST advice for me has been her recommendation on this book

This book is for a very specific kind of autie

  Skip over this post my dear friends whose kids dont fit this specific description

But if you child is a hyperlexic table ready child - let me give you some crib notes on things DH and I have been using for R in his home therapy program

  This book is for the following type of kid

1. Kids who are hyperlexic

2. Table ready 

Here are the basic Principles you employ in each session

WRITTEN SCHEDULE

Each session must have a written schedule

This  give the child a feeling of control and its very important that the entire schedule be completed

We also must find a way to make each session be pleasurable -

We should praise the child for correct answers
We must   give choices when we can and also have a reward at the end of the schedule

    A schedule at the beginning of each session can be as simple as this

REPETITION

All the exrecises should be done multiple times but the therapist must encourage many different correct answers ( its possible that answers are atypical and that is fine )

  Exercises must be presented by the therapist by modeling correct answers and in  writing

Eventually, we will want R, to complete the exercises himself but only after he has seen the therapist model it and then help him several times

TEACH USING THE CHILD's STRENGTH :
This is critical . R is a child who processes the world visually ( I think this is true of all hyperlexic kiddos )

In this curriculum, we are teaching oral language using visual channels .

Once the child can read a sentence , understand the sentence and then eventually identify the sentence when someone else reads it then his oral ability is strengthened 

PROMPTING AND FADING

When an exercise is first introduced the child will have to be helped but eventually the help needs to be reduced and then faded away till the child does independent work

EMPHASIS ON GENERAl KNOWLEDGE:  

One of the problems with R is how little general knowledge he has !!

  Bright kids with autism will often not pick up the most basic things fom the environment  :due to following reasons

1. because they often do not process oral information due to their visual brains

2. Due to their great ,memories they may remember many minute details BUT They may not have the ability to discern the main idea from the detail -

the book has a section on general knowledge and the idea is to give the child a structured way to acquire the general knowledge 

IT Is IMPERATIVE THAT THE THERAPIST WORK ON THE DEFICIT ( AUDITORY PROCESSING ) BY RELYING ON THE STRENGTH ( VISUAL PROCESSING)  HOW OFTEN :

We want to work daily and if possible multiple times a day  we are introducing language visually

- so that the child will acquire language in the same way that an adult acquires a foreign language
     ESSENTIAL TO CUSTOMIZE: IF SOMETHING IS NOT WORKING WE MUST GET TOGETHER
 AND FIX IT 

Ok that is the introduction

Tomorrow I will write on the three techniques we have been  using

Simple Word Association,Complex word Associations, Writing an Essay etc

The last days of June

How did June end so fast ?


 It seems like things are moving so fast these days

The month has been its mixture of great, good and bad

Julie has had her baby - ( no baby pics on blog yet but she did post on Facebook )

It seems just the other day she talked about becoming pregnant

She and Steve have the most beautiful babies you could imagine

On the bad side, one very sad thing that happened is Abby beloved black lab that I was proud to be aunt to, is gone !

Here is her when I went to see her in May -  my friend had shared that Abby would not be around for long so I thought I should go and say goodbye

I am so glad I did

Good bye Abbs darling - you are always in my heart

I am piecing together this month with the pictures on my phone


When in doubt, do sensory 

I am super busy with work - we have his gran visiting as well and its horribly  hot  - super super hot

Its really easy with this, to forget about Floortime and just spend our time gossiping ( and eating )

So I am simply forcing myself to go out every evening

My mantra is "when you cannot change your attitude ( laziness) , you can at least change your behavior( go out and play ) "

We spend a lot of time playing in the treehouse that DH built 2 years ago

And on hammocks

And in our indoor swing

He keeps telling me to push harder and faster

(Can you see what he is reading ? Multiplication tables )

I dream of a really long and big swing

Mirror Neurons

One interesting thing I noticed recently is a Mirror Neurons related Phenomenon

( you know when you yawn because you saw someone else yawning or when you salivate when you see other people eating something tasty or when every woman in the audience raises her face when Rhett leans down to kiss Scarlett?- well Aues are not supposed to have them )

R loves Doritos Jacked ( do you know what they are)

They are super spicy Doritos that are thicker and crisper and spicier

The other day as I put one in my mouth - R did a OOOOOH sound as though he could taste the spice

Change is good.. not 

 I have to hand it to DH - he is always trying out something new with R

This summer he decided on swim lessons and on horse riding

Both attempts have been difficult

R climbs on the horse very reluctantly and closes his ears -

All the other auties are happily brushing their horses.

Swimming, is his favorite thing in the world to do -

He literally begging everyday to go to the pool

But swimming lessons?


No way Jose


He hates to get his face wet 


At the same time- we know these have been helpful - and its  because of the swimming lessons he is finally willing to "disappear " ( ie put his head inside the water ) these days 


I and DH, remind our self of  of how long it takes to get him to do each new thing and how important it is that we keep on trying - because its not the thing in itself that he minds- just the newness 


And if we don't keep pushing the boundary - his life will get circumscribed into tighter and smaller circles of safeness, routine and rigidity ( I find this happens with most of us as we get older- fewer friends- most of them like us, no new hobbies, same  routines etc ) 

Mindless Stimming? .. NOT 

I have been watching what he does when he looks like he is mindlessly doing repetitive things on screens

Turns out he is not !

He is making remixes

So for instance he has 3 screens open at the moment

On the Iphone - he has The Little Einsteins in a snow setting - on the Ipad he has a polar bear

On another ipad he has seals

He also has Wii Music playing Carmen in the background

Another time I see him open two videos on his computer and remix the dialogue

So in screen 1 a child says the multiplication table

Then he pauses that screen

Then plays the part on the Little Einsteins Screen and Annie says "Awwwwwwwww"

Now he does do many repetitive things as well - but I think this scene setting and dialogue remixing  are good thinking processes



Baby is getting big 

 First,  R is a acquiring some big boy like qualities

Many good things about this

A little bit of  Independence is coming .


These days when he does his bedtime routine - after we finish reading a book


I simply turn off the lights and WALK AWAY 


This is UNHEARD of.. 


Usually I have to wait till he is fast asleep and then creep away like a thief hoping I dont wake up . ( this- walk away when he is awake -   practice was started by DH when I was traveling for a week in June ) 

Another thing is that he is getting  very opinionated and decisive -

Like today we were at the Outlet Mall - he dragged me all the way to the Crocs store because he wanted to buy yet more shoes

They are so cute... his orange shoes

He loves creating his iconic moments

Like I came downstairs yesterday to see that he had hunted for and  collected his iconic moment

1. Red Jelly Beans 
2. Macbook
3. Numbers 
4. Wii Remotes 

Some of his stubborness is not very so adorable though

He will throw a tantrum if he does not get his way in the many things he wants to do just so

Some of his baby sweetness is going away 


The hugs and kisses are reducing slightly 

Usually he cannot sit next to me without snuggling up like this 


But these days, I feel they are reducing a little 


Plus the mischief 


He has been sooo naughty and so defiant lately 


DH and I used to say that one of the joys of parenting an autie was the lack of the Gimmes 


Well no more 


I sat in the car yesterday and noticed the non stop gimmes .. 


"Gimme I phone please .. thank you god" 
"Gimme ipad" 
Gimme red jellybeans"
 gimme red cherry starburst:
 "Sing Carmine" 
"Play bird will make the rock fall on ( imaginary ) piano "


He will also find an indirect way to defy my " no's"

For instance, here I told him not to touch the buttons of the AC in his playroom

So he is touching them through this basket here

I will frequently find him having created ladders to get to things he is not supposed to

Also he tries to hide his crime sprees ( so much for lack of "theory of mind " )

I find his face hands clothes covered with markers

Apart from the dangerous mischief - I am loving this phase

But I miss my sweet baby too

Last night as he is in trouble yet again - for tearing  a picture of a measuring tape out of a book - even though he fully well knows the rules about "no tearing books"

But I know him well and I see from his face that his only sorrow is that he was found out !

I think sadly that my baby is indeed growing up

Then when I come back to go to bed myself -

I see he has left his bed and is now sleeping on our bed on DH's pillow

I thank god for these little bits of babiness that are still in him