Saturday, August 4, 2012

The end of July

Since we are going to move in a month ( OMG I cannot believe it – 6 weeks ago we had NO idea we were going to end up moving across the country)  this last two weeks have been the emotional and physical logistics of getting ready for the move

Luckily- we are a pretty good team and divide up all the work -  DH is doing a large chunk of all the house and move related stuff – while I am trying to connect with parents there to find the best therapists , schools etc
There are so many things to do

  1. Putting the cabin up for rental ( getting it rental ready)
  2. Putting the house for sale ( and getting it sale ready)
  3. Finding a house in Seattle  in the school district we want ( and something we can afford for the house prices in Seattle are making our eyes bug out )
  4. Finding schools
  5. Finding new therapists
  6. Getting R , our beloved  therapists and us ready for a separation L- this one is truly hard as our therapists have become our friends and most of them have seen him from when he was a baby and did not know his own name

In the midst of it all life is also going on

A BOUNCE party

A friend of mine who adopted a child a year ago had her birthday party at a Bounce house

Its weird but though mom and daughter are of different racially – DH and I both noticed that the daughter  has started to look like mom

In fact two of my friends have and they are both here with their now complete families

Watching the happy family makes me all gooey eyed about adoption – its just such a wonderful thing

OMG R is having a blast – while as always he tries to avoid the kids – he is actually really excited about both the party and then the cake and pizza afterwards

The kid that is looking away ? yes that is my kid

( One thing gives me a pang – when R asks me several times to come sit with him and I realize that we are his only friends L )

A trip to Seattle

So we spend 4 days in Seattle in what my new employer calls a househunting trip

We are kind of excited about the trip as it feels like a short holiday and also we will be getting to the meet the lovely Rachel
R is super excited - the beloved mrs G has given him a "suitcase" which will be carried everywhere

But some of our joy is quelled by the vagaries of United - OMG how many delays can we have
R is a good traveler but I am really worried he will melt down

 He is happy to be drinking real sprite ( no water mixed, ) his Ipad and his black Doritos..

I am feeling very sorry for myself but the sight of a gorgeous woman striding along the concourse in Denver holding an icecream - with a prosthetic leg - helps me reframe my whiny thoughts
And  the view of Mt Rainier as we land is spectacular

We work with a really nice realtor and see a lot of Houses
One  houses has  really gorgeous view but the house is completely crappy and out of our price range – Dh falls in Love with it a little
Can you blame him ?

Another house has a dream eat in nook and I fall in love with it but DH is alarmed by the small closet in the master bedroom guessing ( correctly ) that he will not get any space in that at all
Since our rule is to never go with another’s veto – both these “dream houses “ are out
And we have put in an offer for a practical place – this is a short sale though- so it means a really long waiting ( the worst kind of wait – “Hurry up and wait “)-
We are perfectly willing to rent even if it is renting for a year so we are good

 Wish us luck – we know emotionally we are in a good place to bid for a short sale – not desperately in love, willing to rent for a while - please send us good vibes!!

Still it’s going to be a long and tiresome process, which we need to be mentally prepared for

R likes the area in general ( mostly becasue it has an Embassy Suites :-) ) and many vending machines and lots of pizza

Such is his simple heart
The new therapists

Academic focused ABA therapists
The first set of therapists we go to are a group of ABA therapists that come recommended by  a parent I got in touch with through the yahoo group ( thank you S and R )

We go there on Monday and they are running a social skills camp

It’s a little crowded – plus R is very very upset because 2 children are crying loudly ( this will eventually ruin our day as R is in an epic meltdown – crying and mewling to go back to his comfort zone – the horribly dated  embassy suites ) Our realtor ( also mother  of a special needs child ) scores very highly with us for being kind and making no comments on his terrible behavior

As punishment that night , I skip his whole bed time routine and he has to go to bed by himself – no story , no cuddles nothing !! Take that kid !

 What I like though is that the the head of the therapist is smart and makes R talk about why he is upset and make a drawing of the crying boy

He also suggests that we have some sessions in the office to work on social skills ( this raises my mommy hackles of course as I think R will have bad associations with that office but my cerebral side ( DH ) notices that there may be some benefit in it
We show him what we are doing with Teach me Language and he He shows us some of the things he is doing with another child ( who is says is “just like R “ ) where he is breaking down reading comprehension into tiny bits to enhance reading comprehension
Play based speech therapist-
R is VERY stressed out the next day as – he is anticipating a repeat of the previous day ( crying kids ) – so he is full of vocal stims and scripting . I am rather intrigued by how much he stims with scripts these days ( obviously we do not try to stop him as this is his coping mechanism as he is feeling anxious- and its much more important for him to feel relaxed then “impress” the new therapist )

I love the new speechie – she talks a lot about play techniques ( you can imagine how that goes straight to my heart ) And is completely accepting of R
Plus she is willing to do home visits another huge plus for us as it cuts down his time in the car

Now for the best part of the trip

Meeting Rachel , Mr Daddy and Itty Bit

Do you know the family that lives over at Once Upon a Miracle

Well you should definitely visit Rach's blog cause she writes fabulous posts

OMG this is so incredibly EPIC 



I have asked Rach to please makes sure that Itty does not feel bad if R does not engage with him
We have also spend time in the park to make sure R is feeling unstressed about meeting new people  ( as you know sensory stuff and playing outside is my prevention and cure for everything ) and it’s a GORGEOUS day

We meet in the downtown of a little neighboring town
They make a long drive to come and see us ( Thank you Rach  and Mr Daddy)
It is so wonderful - there is no awkward silence- Rach and I are like long lost buddies
Mr daddy and DH look like they have known each other for ever
Everything you think about these three from their blog, is true
They exude goodness, sweetness and light
We eat pizza, take walks and its like we have known them all our lives
Itty bit is fabulous - OMG he loves hamming for the camera

 – R and he are busy with their separate screens –
from time to time itty bit tries to engage and seems completely cool with R’s silences 

There is one thing fantastic about the special needs world -

Through it you will get in touch with some of the best people you ever knew



Looking for Blue Sky said...

I am always so impressed by everything that you manage to achieve and it looks as though the move is going well. I would second the comment abut finding lots of really special people in the special needs world : I've made more friends through my special needs kids than any other way x

Kris said...

Love your post and I teared up at the part where you say you realize you are R's only friends. The pic of him sitting separate from the other kids is a familiar sight to me too. Alex is like that in group pictures as well. Always as far away as he can get while still being in the picture. He has one friend (who hasn't figured out yet about Alex being "different") but other than that depends on us and his siblings for friends.

My older boys have tons of friends and it breaks my heart that although the door bell rings all day long it is never for Alex.

You are incredible with all you accomplish and best of luck with your move!!

Þorgerður said...

Sending you good vibes. Hope everything continues to go smoothly.
R seems to be handling things well. Tough love is love too :)

Rachel said...

I am SO SO SO thrilled at your move... was so very excited to meet you, and your family was even more charming in person. Can you believe no gaps in the conversations? :) I think the men would be just as dangerous at being able to chat the evening away!

Itty Bit has not stopped firing on anyone within range. The house is littered with Nerf bullets in the oddest places, hee hee! He is delighted and I'm sure he'd love to engage you in some team warfare:)

Please... do not hesitate at all to let us know any way we can help. I cannot wait to spend more time with some new/old friends!

How crazy are we... with friends in box? :) Much love!

Trish said...

Wow, such a big move with so many pieces to put together! I am glad to hear that things are going so well with it.

Yuji said...

Oh my, such a range of emotions here. Moving can be so tough, especially saying goodbye to old friends. I wish you the best!

I think renting is not a bad idea... it gives you a chance to get to know your new area, and home prices are not about to go up anytime soon.

I can so totally relate to the meltdown. :(

But am so happy for you about the good things you are already finding at your new place. Hooray!

Anonymous said...

aw! I'm still catching up. Wow. You're going through some BIG things!! I hope things are going well with the house and moving. So tough to leave great therapists. I hope once things settle down the changes will end up being good for your whole family! I LOVE the picture of R with his suitcase!!! :) That last group picture is so nice too! I feel like a fan. hehe!

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