Saturday, October 19, 2013

Days in my life - The second week of October

Dear reader, 

I am getting once again into the habit of writing down a little bit each night as the day is done. 

The idea is to reflect on each day and enjoy it both by thinking about it consciously and also saving it away for a later read. 

Those of you who journal regularly know the delicious pleasure of wondering well what you were  doing on October 2009 and then reliving that month 4 years ago at the click of a button.


I look at the weather forecast as soon as I wake up and I am so excited that the next 10 days are sunny. 

However clearly the sky does not have the app as the sky is grey and its as emerald green as ever.

DH and I are both sick. 

He is more so .

I make reproachful noises, as I am the one who has to go down to make tea. (ginger tea- made with the special leaves that Sandra gave us which you can buy only in India - my solution for all ails)

We loll about in bed and face time with R's grandma who is so happy to see him.

I try to get him to read  a poem to her which he does lackadaisically!

Then its time to rush.

Even though R's social skills class is at 11.30  -invariably our lolling-about-ways mean that its always a rush to get there.

His social skills class is in a Farm where there is a fair on.

DH and I go to shop for groceries - he is so exhausted that he naps in the car while I go to Walmart and Target.

Oh how I loathe grocery shopping!

Then we get home. 

I make lunch with the air of a martyr and make only healthy food ( a stir fry salad- no meat) 

This is my silent revenge

We relax but then R starts to whine about going to the park. 

The park is great.

So lovely and not crowded at all.

One reason why I love the fall.

I am finding my smart phone irresistible and make a mental note to put it down more.

I ask R "Say anything to me "

R obligingly doles out a fact " the lake is the duck's habitat"

(He is reading about ecosystems and his favorite joke is to tell me " the lake is saltwater". What he lacks in wit, he makes up in enthusiasm)

The ducks are approaching us -fearless and ferocious

I ask R - "What do the ducks want?"

"They want my cupcake" - he answers fearfully.

As soon as we are back - he wants to take picture of the elevator at the Sports club

We do our usual shameful routine of going to the sports club - but not exercising like the huffing and puffing people virtuously doing their hamster routines on the treadmill . 

Instead we take pics of the elevator and buy his Giant cookie (I note that the nutrition facts say that this one cookie has two servings )

Then R quickly remembers that he was a very good boy in Miss Rocco's class and his Dad had promised him a restaurant meal .

So off we go to Canyons. I don't know if it is because we are tired - but its extra loud and noisy and exhausting.

R LOVES eating out and he is really easy to take to retsuatrnsts ( as long as they have either fried chicken or pizza)

We are so tired by the time we get back that its just some TV (Elementary) some grapes

And time for Bed.

We choose a letter( P ) and read 2 words with P

Power and Present. I try to describe what Power is - but R chimes in " The power is off" To tell me he knows about electricity

We read "The Tiger" by William Blake. 

I think its a wonderful poem but the language has too many oddities for an autistic child.

I ask R what he thinks William Blake feels about the tiger.

"He likes it" R answers simply


We cook and rest all day and watch movies.

Its a perfect Sunday - every week should have a day like this

R's community trip is to the library , they are working on maps.

Mrs. D comes back shocked at how amazing his sense of direction and visual spatial reasoning is - he can walk through a room and point out exactly where everything is on a handwritten map- example exact spot  they parked in.

"I keep thinking its dumb luck and he kept proving me wrong" she says 

We watch a lovely movie called Talaash - its made by one of my favorite actors directors Amir Khan - 

I have been avoiding this movie as its about a couple whose 8 year old son dies by drowning.

One snippet I have seen of this movie - where the family is lolling about in the morning has convinced me that its so like us and since the child dies I do not want to see it.

But OMG the movie is wonderful .( I thought it was about kidnapping and its not - thank goodness) 

We also watch a small bit of a terrible movie where a bra less Kiera Knightley and her husband are each on the verge of having affairs.

Whether they actually do have the affair's or not - we shall never find out as its too incredibly boring. 

I don't understand why movies and literature have made so much of infidelity. 

Its terribly boring as each time its dealt with the usual cliches.(irresistible passion/bored with mundane married life etc)

In the night R and I write  a journal. he tries to write just the facts ( we drank sprite ) and I keep trying to intersperse tidbits of emotional things ( you were upset because you forgot to bring the green straw)


A great book I am reading is called The happiness advantage.See his amazing Ted Talks here.

Its basic premise that you think that once good things happen to you - you will be happy.

But instead,  if you start with Happiness -its an advantage in life as it makes you more predisposed to success.

It put me in the mood for a good day - which I sorely needed as it was an emotional day at work with some re-orgs.

In the evening some of my friends came over for Margaritas ( made by DH ) and snacks and we sat around the dining table and relaxed and chatted.

R came upstairs - I had already primed him that we would not be going to the park that day.

But he wanted to make sure that our guests did not spend the night so he told them that they should "go far away on Monday " and that he would set the timer for 90 minutes.

When the timer went off he came and urged our guests to leave .

Thankfully they are good friends and did not mind his encouraging pushes to the door to get things going.

These are terrible manners but I am so touched by the honesty of R .

At night he is in tears as he reconciled himself to the reality of not having had the indoor picnic(a compromise picnic where R eats his junk food inside the house)

Sadly indoor picnic has been missed  because my alcohol tolerance is very low and I am tipsy after a single margarita !!

He draws this on my Surface

We learned 3 new words from the dictionary .This is our tradition now- our words were daughter , danger and delicious

We had eaten too many snacks so I came downstairs and instead of dinner I gave DH what I call the low blood pressure cocktail - oatmeal + walnuts+ low fat milk.

We see Mentalist and How I met your mother and now its time to go to bed


Yesterday when R was upset about the park I had promised to take him to two picnics today

Sadly he has great memory and remembers my promise and after a 10  hour work day I find that I have to go to 2 parks

Oh well – he is so tired when he has to write his journal – he falls asleep halfway through a sentence. 

Today I went to Idylwood park and Ardmore….


Today I have 11 meetings. 

Then I come home and  R is squeaking for snacks and entertainment.

He wants to go to Archstone Apartment. I think it is a great idea to learn about maps - so we google it and get directions . 

As I turn left on 40th street - R protests from the back " not that way .. another way" so I know we were not going to the place he was dreaming of

I let him guide me and we reach Archstone Campus ( 2 places with the same name - how ridiculous)

I am wondering why he wanted to go there and then suddenly the horror dawns on me - he wants to take pictures of all the alphabets which is how the apartments are labeled.

As we drive back I tell him that I understand  how much he likes  alphabets and numbers but now
that he is almost 9 years old it was time to do things like multiplication and division.

He says  sadly "They are for babies"

I feel bad for him . 

There are so many things he likes to do( like snuggling , Baby Einstein videos) that are for babies. We wrote a nice journal today.

I help  him with the grammar in the beginning but then he grabs the iPad from me .
I am amused that he corrected all my spellings - even a shopping list he saw in my notes - t  I had written "Sushi" - which is a word he does not know - so he thought of the closest approximation and wrote it "Susie".

Too funny

Anyway here is the journal


Today I was very sleepy
I went to miss Marla...
I went to work with miss Kate . Miss Kate did not draw Mrs claus Then I ate
chicken After that, I went to miss Angie school. I played wii Then mama came
home from officer in Mama and I went to Archstone. The first one was not the
right one.
We drove back to idylwood park.
On the way we saw the Archstone that I wanted to go to.
We drove to the Archstone. We took a photo of the letter B.
Then we go home Then we fell the floor
We drink sprite We brush her teeth We rinse your mouth then we washed face
and hands We sleep mother


I am too tired to write tonight as it was a long day so here is R's journal instead. Iam in parenthesis


Today I worked with miss Brittany. I pushed and spun on the swing.
I talked about yesterday.
Then we played on the iPad.
Then we talked about what I did.
Then I ate pizza
Then mama came home ( B
TW I came home so that DH and I could go to the disability fair that was being held by Microsoft - but I had  to tell R that I was taking DH to get an injection. This  did not deter him and he is willing to get an injection for the sake of being with us) .
Then I worked with Miss Kate Then we ate chicken.
Then we go to the center. I worked with josh.
Then I came home.
Then mama came home.then we went to aegis( BTW this is a memory care place -
that is close to us - people with Alzheimer's - the caregivers there were
very sweet and showed us all around and even gave R chocolate ) . we saw
old people there.
I saw a canoe.( this was a fake camp are they had created for their
residents - it was indoors but they made it look just like a camp ) 

I went to idylwood park.we saw geese. 

A woman came to talk to us.mama and the woman talked about the moon. The woman had a boy and a baby  ( this I had to interrogate him on as he usually sees the world while ignoring all
the random people in it ) We came home ate dinner and played wii. And  then mama did treadmill . We did sleep mother.
It was a good day


As you know he is going to the school near by for social group. 

I went to meet to get the IEP signed. His teacher says he is ignoring everyone there
In the social group he
• Slouches
• Ignores
• Lack of response discourages peers from responding
• He does not acknowledge peers by name 

I had taken fresh hot buttery muffins and since the meeting was at 7.30 am on a cold Fall day - and the muffins were just out of the oven- they were much appreciated. 

I also show them some of the things he is doing at home. They are good people and we brainstorm some ideas.
As I do his bedtime routine at the end of a lovely week I reflect on how humbling life is . 

While R makes so much progress and is in so many ways a dream child - his social limitations are profound 

DH and I sit in bed in our down comforter and chat about the balance of pushing and accepting. 

Tomorrow is another day. 

This weekend we meet with our home therapy group and I know we will find some ways to move onwards and forward.

Always onward and forward.

Right upward the oak-tree is growing,
    Forth-waving its leaves in the sun,
And deep in the green earth is sowing
    The seed of a forest to come.


Sophie's Trains said...

I love reading your journals. They are so mindful and reflective. No wonder R is such a smart fella ;) have you ever thought of maybe starting with one child with similar interests maybe in your home? Playing wii or going to the park- an activity he is already skilled at. Just a thought, I know you are a wonderdul mom and probably thought of everything already!

Bright Side of Life said...

Love reading your journal, K. So nice to get a feel of what your days are like and how your gorgeous boy is progressing. My husband and first born are addicted to the Mentalist! Remember your previous post about setting up a chain email.... I have set up one between my three sisters and mum, we are loving the connection. Thanks for such a great idea. xx

Kris said...

I love reading your posts. It is hard watching our children get older and realizing many of their beloved things are (sadly) often for much younger children. It sounds like R has some good people working with him.

Shovona said...

Dear k,
As usual a great journal. ... I Love the diarieswhe writes and I believe r does have great EQ ( remember how he was sad and put it up on the board with a picture of him crying) maybe qw are not smart enough to understand

Looking for Blue Sky said...

I wish more people wrote about their lives so beautifully and openly as you do. And I still want to know if the ducks got the cupcake :)

Floortime Lite Mama said...

@ LFBS,Deeds. BSOL and ST and Kris.. thanks so much for reading this long post - I really did write a lot.

@LFBS - no they did not get a cupcake :-)
@ Di you are so welcome for the chain email idea
@ Deeds you know you are right
@ Kris- he really does
@ Sophie's trains - love your journals too

Yuji said...

Wow, so much good stuff in this post. R's blunt honesty is much like my son's... hearing real honesty like that makes you realize how much the rest of us are not truly being honest when we are being well mannered. Love that he expresses his emotions so well, at least when he is sad.

My son used to always want to go to places that had letters on the doors... he finally seems to be outgrowing it so perhaps R will, too.

"Finding the balance between pushing and accepting" - that is one of my bigger personal challenges... not sure there is a perfect balance.

Tanya Savko said...

Eleven meetings! How exhausting. But I love the "silent revenge" stir fry salad, and I can't believe that R is almost 9. His journals are amazing - so great that you are encouraging him to write them. I always believed that writing would liberate Nigel to no end, and it has. Love to you.

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