Saturday, June 8, 2013

The Last days of May

A weekend with friends

Our friends from Canada visited us

These are DH's friends from Engineering college almost 20 years ago

We have made a pact  we will pretend not to notice the many extra pounds

We all tell each other that we look "EXACTLY " the same

(Though to be honest an extra person could have been created with all the pounds we have collectively gained in the intervening 13 years )

They live in Canada where the wife is a doctor and the guy ( DH's roomie from engineering days ) works as an engineer

They have a teenager ( extremely sweet ) .
 Very self possessed  - and all we saw of him was the top of this head over his laptop where he was communing with his friends over games

She does Hospice now and it was really interesting to hear her stories

One story was about a 52 year old woman who is passing away and who is trying to teach her 4 sons to be self sufficient

Her husband also died of cancer a few years ago

52 years !

I will be 52 in only 14 more years

I wonder what I would do if I knew I had only 14 more years to go


The little girl ( Canadian friends' daughter ) was very sweet 

R was - at first jealous of her

( he snatched his paintings from the frig and put them away )

But when he noticed that she treated him with respect - he quickly realized that he really  likes her  ( finally someone smaller and hence  lower on the food chain than him !!)

Now is always asking for Chloe

A neighbor's birthday party

R LOVES going to birthday parties

We went to a neighbor's party - they are soooo sweet - they invited R to get in line for whacking the Piñata , guarded a few sweets for him daily

As soon as we came home - R insisted I make cupcakes

Meeting Temple Grandin

One of the cool things about working for Microsoft is that some days Temple grandin comes to give a lecture at your company

Now that I have attended one of her long conferences , heard her on Ted Talks and read all of her books, I find that I have pretty much heard everything she says

Still  I  get something new out of it - even when its a reminder ( this is why conferences and trainings are important because they shake us out of our inertia )

Two things
1. focus on practical things also - like shopping etc , ANY kind of job experience
2.focus on academics - for visual thinkers ( her brain scan images were fascinating -google usa today Temple grandin and see above for the picture I took of her presentation) things like algerbra are impossible - so skip it

Pattern thinker

I am always astounded by R's impeccable memory

Was astounded to see that he remembered a lot of our cryptic internet password as I saw him trying to put it in the wii

As I was organizing his toys , I was just struck by how many letters and numbers we still have

How much he still enjoys them

His number intersts have become more compictated - here he has painstakilnly taken photos one by one ( this is the  album view on my phone )  of even numbers
Here a pattern of division

Here he has made a series of animal that are in the sequence of the alphabet

 If I see a bunch of random cards there is usually some thought behind it

like here - this mess on our dining table is actually multiplication cards and he has just picked out the 4 series

Getting Normal

DH and I were talking the other day how we have been in a "state of emergency" for the past 12 months .

The pain of leaving Knoxville, coming to a new everything and then R's long illness

I am so ready to start feeling normal and that is what I am practicing

These days as I walk inside the house , I say to myself

Today I will Floortime
Today I will clear up
Today I will have a normal evening
Today I will watch TV

When we go to the park, I do our usual routine of swinging etc

But I also play little games

At the park I laid down his number cards - I told him to memorize the series - then I turned them around and I pointed to the back of the number to ask him "which number is it "

With his bed time tales I got the little people and made them act out poems

At the gym - we play bouncing games together


We are finally moving to homeschooling ( a version of it )

DH and I will be planning curriculum and R will spend his Fall hours divvied up between

  1. Hometherapy
  2. Therapy at a center ( 1:1 ratio)
  3. Services at our neighborhood school
We discuss this at our team meeting and all of us feel that this is the right way ahead for R

In our hearts, DH and I agree that it feels right as well

There are years that ask questions and there are years that give answers.

This past year has been the former

"Were we right to move?"

 "Why must our child have one more mystery disease? Are SPD , Apraxia not enough?"

But as the team meeting ends one of our therapists says

 " I like coming to your house.. this is a happy house"

Another adds

"Your house is my happy place"

And I think maybe this past year was not so bad after all  


Gypsi said...

Did I tell you guys that enough? How happy my visits made me? I got as much or more from R as he ever did from me! Your new plan sounds great.

Love the photo of him looking so protective of his new friend!

Km said...

I can see from reading how your home is a happy one. Your plan for R sounds great! I look forward to reading more of your adventures.

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Yuji said...

Ha, love R's reaction to Chloe. So sweet!

I know others who have had success with homeschooling. It requires a lot of dedication from the parents, but you and DH have plenty of that. Best to you, and I look forward to reading about your experiences.

Kris said...

Your family certainly has been through a lot. Hoping you get your normal back!

ggop said...

Lovely to hear from you..wishing you success in home schooling.

Bright Side of Life said...

Sounds like you are on the right track for your family. If I hadn't of started my own school, I definitely would have gone the home schooling route. Lovely post, as always. x

P.S. I keep remembering your words... "that I will not feel stressed". I think this is a good mindset to have! :)

Tanya Savko said...

When you have a difficult year it really stretches you, often in ways you don't even realize until much later. I think it gives us a new awareness, even a new level of being. But I guess that's life. Always learning, always expanding. I think that's why others notice the happiness in your house (but that is probably because it was there to begin with! :)

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing mother. :) I love reading your posts and you know what? your home HAS to be a happy place with all that positive thinking and energy! I like that you are real about your struggles, but you choose to see the bright side...and with that, I think you have no choice but to move forward instead of being stuck in the darkness. I love it. :)

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