Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Last days of Fall

Birthday Party 

For R we stopped having birthday parties after the age of 2 .

We started to do little parties at school - with is special needs class

This year though DH really wanted to have a proper birthday party and so we  decided to have a birthday party with some families

It was really low key and relaxed

R seemed to like the fuss - loved cutting the birthday cake, getting the presents, having all the amazing helium balloons that DH got for him

This is one of our new traditions - the cake shaped in the shape of the number he is

Most of the time he would leave the party and go to his bedroom

However when we asked him if he wanted a birthday party again next year - he said that he did !

I think that counts for something

A trip 

I had a conference and DH and R came along for the weekend - R had a wonderful time in the hotel which had 7 swimming pools

Have I told you how much R loves hotels ?

So when he talks about Christmas last year he always talks about Christmas at the "Double Tree by Hilton "


Such is the unique perspective of R !

And it makes me smile

Disney Boardwalk 

We go to the Disney Boardwalk on his actual birthday . Fabulous weather ..

Its just the kind of place that R loves

Lots of space to run around

Pizza on the water front where the ducks come to eat his leftover

Lots of lights

Dinner with R 

I take R out for dinner by myself a few times so DH can be by himself

 I cannot tell you how awesome it is and how different from years past - R reads books , colors and this year I noticed he even likes to take bread out of the bead basket

There was a time when DH and I just stopped going to restauants with R and I am glad we did that and just waited till he was ready

I think the autism parenting version of the serenity prayer  should be as follows

"God grant me the serenity to know what I need to teach now ;
and what I need to wait to teach till he is ready;
and wisdom to know the difference"

Sea world 

DH takes R to Sea world 

I text DH to ask him how its going and my heart sinks when DH texts m back saying that he was "All done" within 30 minutes and it was another 100 bucks down the drain

I sooo want R to have fun

But they also go the next day  and shamu is all R wants to talk about

The end of Fall 

We are at the cabin and the last leaves are falling around me

I have been filled with  a  general melancholy these days .

Work is stressful and I am not able to turn my work self off  when I get home.

DH always keeps reminding me to "leave it in the office" but its hard for me to do

Also I just hate the way time is passing by .

Why must it go by so fast ?

I am  astounded by the weight of  the maintenance tasks of life .

Nothing has changed really - working+ Autism + home is a solid workload-

What has changed these past few weeks -   is how I feel  about it

My friend Tanya  said  that she has been feeling the "impermanence of life" right along with the "permanence of Autism" and I really know what she means

I think of what R said when I told him that tomorrow he would be 7 years old.

He said " 6 years old is all done "

I felt tears pricking me eyes , but R wasnt sad

I know he is thinking about what year 7 will bring .

And that is the way to think


Di said...

You may be busy with work, however, your post tells a different story. It reflects calmness, quiet, unhurried moments! Happy Birthday R, how wonderful to be *7*.

Trish said...

I have seen this with Michael as well. Just this Friday he went to movie night at school and sat on the floor with his friends and classmates and enjoyed the whole experience. It's so wonderful to realize that just because something doesn't work out at one time doesn't mean it won't be possible in the future.

I love your version of the serenity prayer - definitely much more hopeful!

Þorgerður said...

I hear you... our boys are a year between... time goes fast. Hope you are well and that you find balance.

Mr. Daddy said...

K, there always seems to be a resonance of what you say, that is going on in my life. I can so relate to the "End of Fall" portion of your post.

I wish it were as easy as your DH says to do "leave it at the office".

Maybe it is, just wishing and praying to find the key on how to do it....

loved your post,,,,, as always:o)

Deb said...

Oh, I love the autism serenity prayer! So much about this post resonated with me...thank you for sharing even your melancholy moments.

Yuji said...

I know exactly how DH felt when R said he was "all done" after just 30 minutes at Sea World. It is so disheartening. I'm glad they had more success when they went back.

I also relate to the "impermanence of life" - "permanence of Autism." We're feeling that same melancholy... maybe it's the season.

"6 years old is all done" - what a sweet thing to say.

Happy birthday to R. And wishes for uplifted spirits to you.

robin said...

I remember when I was working full-time and having difficulties leaving 'work' at work instead of bringing it home. I finally got a routine of coming home, giving myself 20 minutes to decompress in my room alone, then I was ready to start the next tasks! When my girls were younger and involved in so many extra-cirricular activities, it was super stressful to have to bring them back and forth to school, their activities, lessons and still maintain routine and consistency while working...I vaguely remember those days but definitely remember having to try to cram so much into each day. *hug* I loved that R loved his b-day celebration!

Lizbeth said...

Happy birthday little one! And I'm right there with you feeling down right about now. I don't know if its the cold or lack of sunlight but it's just blah. It is amazing to me when you're down how your own child can pick you up and define the focus.

Thank you for redefining mine.

AutismWonderland said...

Happy Birthday to R! My son will be 6 in Jan and I wonder why the time is flying. I just want to stay in this moment.

I love the idea about the cake shaped in his age. I will want to try that...maybe this year.

We don't do birthdays either...

As for Disney - how cute that R mentions the hotel but not the Disney part. My son does the same thing. It's both funny & frustrating. Our vacations could have been a whole lot cheaper!

Anonymous said...

What Di said.

Your writing calms me - at a time when my employment is very stressful also. I can relate and look forward to this stressful time being "all done".

7 wonderful years! Make it longer! Much longer! Barbara

Anonymous said...

love your serenity prayer, friend.

i too, feel the weight and weariness of work and home and mothering. you are always one i look up to b/c you do it so well and with grace. i love the wonderful experiences you and DH give R.

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Kris said...

Happy birthday R!!!! 7 is wonderful.

Anonymous said...

I'm catching up... Happy Birthday to R. I loved Di's comment....and that Autism serenity prayer. wow. So true. I've been feeling the permanence of Autism lately too. I guess I've been struggling for awhile, but just lately I find that I have to accept it AGAIN and that some things just are not going to get better- this is how it is and that's okay. We work so hard on things and make progress in areas and expect that everywhere and I keep sinking into thinking (unconsciously) that we are working towards "normal". I hate that and I have to STOP doing it already!!! I hope this week is better for you! <3

JoyMama said...

Happy (belated) birthday, R!

The serenity prayer is magnificent.

Brenda Rothman (Mama Be Good) said...

LOVE your serenity prayer. Funny. Jack said the same thing about turning 7 and I had the same reaction as you. ((love))

Rachel said...

You know Seven is going to be the best year ever, don't you? I mean, until Eight.

And ahem... I'm all about the hotel pools too! :)

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