Friday, July 1, 2011

What we did in June: The Great New York Trip

The Great New York trip
I had a conference in New York city and since school is out for R , DH and R decide to come along with me .

We come in a day early and are staying in Times Square .

R does beautifully in the flight

I have brought along a whole folder of activities for R to do. But he is finished with them in the first 30 minutes

"Dot to dot" art Is a breeze for him!Coloring he does not much care for

Little ( like really little - Nick JR 3-word type) crosswords are really really easy for him..

This is something he would not even look at last year and I am delighted !!

The last time I stayed in times square, many years ago ,

I stayed at the Radisson . I still remember the tiny dingy room that smelled of years of cigarette smoke with some horror

However the Marriott Marquis on Times Square where we are staying  is amazing . The lady at the front desk is very very nice and gives us a room on the 43rd floor

The child loves hotels and he is very happy when we reach our room using an amazing transparent elevator\and spends a lot of time looking down

Metropolitan Museum of Art

I am very excited about going to the museum as I have never seen a real van gogh, Monet or Renoir

We walk through Central park .. R astride on DH's shoulders.

I point out all the places that I think I am certain  I have seen murders in various law and order episodes ( most people here are exercising - though my impression through TV is that this is a favorite hunting ground of criminals - and that meeting one's end should be the expected outcome)

R is very whiny though and keeps on asking about going back to the hotel.

At the museum R is barely interested in the amazing paintings on the wall.

I am bitterly disappointed at his lack of interest as at home stares at his posters of these paintings with rapt attention .

( however DH explains later that he probably does not know the difference between his poster prints and the actual paintings .. And to his logical mind .. It may be us who are strange for making a big fuss over these pictures that we actually have at home )

Finally one of the guards tells us that he cannot carry his empty coke and  sprite can . He sits and cries and cries .

( the guard is a little rude too which is upsetting to me . Though perhaps , I only find him rude  and cold as I am very spoiled by living in a small southern town- where people are gentle and charming and always act as though they have all the time in the world ) .

The beauty  of the museum is ruined for me though DH is sweet and tells me to "take a round" while he sits with R

I  wish I was alone with DH and I feel guilty at the thought . I remind myself that when r is all grown up I will miss being with him so much

It seems to me that mothers of small children miss having any "me time" and then empty Nester's miss having any "we time".

And the trick is to remember what we have and enjoy what is good in it..

Knowing we won't always have it.

I think one of the worst things must be to look back on life and remember how happy one was and how one did not know it then.

We eat a very nice dinner at an Italian restaurant..(DH  and I are fascinated with Italians owing to all the Italian culture we have been seeing through the sopranos.)

 R behaves impeccably and eats a whole pizza to our surprise

The next day goes much better ..

Its not that R is much different, but that i have adjusted
( is this not true of much of life? ) .

I have made a schedule .

We have allowed for plenty of in between time .

Lunch is a McDonald's . Our expectations are reset.

I have already anticipated that the Museum of Natural history will be disappointing as R has been calling the museum "dinosaur zoo" and I know the paltry skeletons will be a let down.

 I and DH enjoy ourselves hugely
R is largely unimpressed

He sits next to this majestic skeleton with a nonchalant look - playing with his 1 dollar foam numbers !!

This place is just made for kids and I enjoy digging for dinosaur bones with R ( I think I enjoy it more :-) )

We go to the empire state building in the afternoon.

Great view but SUPER crowded - Love the flower gardens on the terraces

The other two days, I am at the conference and DH and R go to see the statue of liberty and have a great time at the toys r us on times square

Toys r us surprisingly is where R has an absolute blast

Somehow its the ordinary things along with all the museums and landmarks that make NewYork so amazing

Like Street art for instance

 The naked cowboy and cow girl etc ( which I dont think I got pictures of )

We loved the cordoned off streets - all the colors of skin and accents around us . Manhattan is a microcosm of the world
At one point I actually see a sign "DOSA" which is a specialized Indian Pancake

We have a lovely time on Times square with the Jumbotron which to R's delight has many ads for Coke and Sprite

The food is pretty amazing as well , though I must say Chicago style Pizza is much more my style and New York stye Pizza just seems so unsumptous in comparison ( no doubt its much much healthier though )

Everything they say about New York Bagels and New york Coffee is true

New York is amazing , though DH and I decide that we probably will not come back here with R until he is 10 or 15

I dont regret it though .

Everything we do, cannot be for our role as parents or to provide an educational experience for R

Though R  and helping him develop is the most important thing in our lives, there has to room in this life for me, for DH and for us as a couple


Lizbeth said...

I love everything about this post and the last sentence sums it up so beautifully. Beautiful pictures and you look so happy!

Yuji said...
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Yuji said...

My wife and I struggle with decisions about where to travel with our son. We would love to go to NYC for ourselves, and want to go there with our son someday, but it's hard to judge how much he will enjoy it now. Kudos to you for taking the plunge, and for realizing that you need to do things just for yourselves, too. But also for understanding that it's important to enjoy the moments you have with your son now. Great post!

Bright Side of Life said...

Yes, having a balance is so important! How wonderful that you could take R to New York, taking in all the sights, sounds and smells....... that is HUGE for a child on the spectrum! :-)

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

It sounds like the trip was worth it! I would like to take our little one's somewhere I just think my husband is afraid of how it would affect the youngest one. Being from CHicago I am preferential to our thin crust but when in GA I've eaten at Partners Pizza called Potato Pizza. I've even brought him from there after visiting my sisters family!

Unknown said...

I understand what you mean about wanting couple time. That is important. It sounds like you had a great time.

Patty O. said...

Looks like you guys had a great time. I too feel guilty about wanting time alone and knowing I will someday miss my kids so much. It's hard to have a balance.

Þorgerður said...

good that you all had a good trip... you look very happy and very pretty...

kathleen said...

N.Y. is where I am from...oh how I miss it. I used to ride the elevator at the Marriott for fun..:) Alone time does happen does. Sounds as if you had a lovely vacation..:)

Rachel said...

Never been - what an experience!

Your young R has been quite a jetsetter for his young age :)

I love hotels too!

robin said...

Sounds like an awesome experience! I remember seeing that hotel you stayed in while I was in Times Square a year or so ago. It was huge! This is just what you mentioned a while back about continuing to expose him to situations even though he may not want to go...I'm glad you guys hit so many great places ( I have also been to many of those!) I love those types of elevators too (even though I am so afraid of heights, it's beautiful to look through.)

Mr. Daddy said...

"I wish I was alone with DH and I feel guilty at the thought"

when I read those words I thought of a quote from Oscar Wilde.

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."

K the beauty of your writing that you always show us both sides of the tragedy, for you sum it up well.

"And the trick is to remember what we have and enjoy what is good in it.."

And that reminds me of another quote by Thomas Carlyle

"The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss."

And me thinks that you don't miss much :o)

For as in the words of Jimmy Dean.

"“I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. "

Thank you for such a beautiful thought provoking post...:o)

Dani G said...

Such beautiful pictures of your family. Looks like a great time!

Julie - A Celebration of Our Journey said...

"And the trick is to remember what we have and enjoy what is good in it.. " ah, yes! I need to be reminded of that often!! I love how R called it the dinosaur zoo!!! And that is so true about having to reset expectations. It seems like every summer (when we do more things) I need to relearn that lesson. When I don't have great expectations about how things will go, but simply do things in a way that Daniel is happy and comfortable we all end up having a good time even if we don't experience a zoo or aquarium, fair or museum the way I would have chosen to experience it...

Rachel said...

Love this post, K! I'm so glad that R could take in some of the sights and sounds of NYC.

I have always struggled with museums because of all the people and the sheer number of displays, so I think it's amazing that R was able to be there and navigate as much as he did. It's possible that he was taking in a lot, and just needed to rest his system by doing his own thing while there.

And yes, you will miss R when he's grown, but you will always need space for yourself and DH, whether R is at home or not. No matter what the situation, you have such a gift for appreciating the moment. It's such a blessing to read about how you navigate this life.

Trish said...

Sounds like such a wonderful time overall - I'm glad you had this opportunity.

Your description of R doing the activity book makes me think of Michael. He never liked coloring either and would go through and do all the other types of pages while ignoring the coloring ones!

Anonymous said...

I think I enjoyed your trip more than R! ;)

We had a wonderful vacation in June and while the destination was a major focal point there was so much along the way that was meaningful. Usually, not ALL FIVE of us was at top enjoyment at one moment. Reset expectations for sure!


Anonymous said...

looks like an awesome trip! oh, all the wonderful things R has been exposed to at such a young age.

my favorite thought from this post just might be that NY style pizza is unsumptuous. =)

Anonymous said...

love the pictures and so want to visit NY myself. Thanks for sharing your visit and I will keep that hotel in mind :)

Allison said...
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Allison said...

There are so many things I love about this post.
I could almost feel your bitter disappointment when R didn't love the paintings in real life. It's so hard when reality doesn't match your vision. But then you were able to turn it around, and when things started going better you realized it was mostly because of your own attitude adjustment. Very wise, and something we could all do to remember.
When I was a kid and would complain about stuff, my grandfather would always tell me to stop because 'these are the easiest days you'll ever have!' It's true that our perspectives change all the time. I try to appreciate present things and this post reminded me to do that.
I love visiting NYC too - kudos to you for making a family trip! What great memories you are making for R.

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