Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The importance of being kind ... to yourself

I am on Hopeful Parents today talking about the importance of being kind to yourself


If you have a minute, do visit that lovely website


If you hate to click links here is the post

On being kind .. to yourself

There are some of lovely things that have come to me, as I growing into my role as a special needs mum
( For as a special needs mum, I am a mere 4 years old,still learning my way )

One of these lovely things, is finally learning to look at myself with kinder eyes

All the books for autie mums and dads, tell you that more is better

That you can never do enough

And so you start to look at yourself and your days with all the things that you could not do

And all the things that you could not be

But, this is starting to change for me

I finish bedtime with R’s current favorite story “Wild cats “

I read out the final line

“And the big eared cub is safe and sound as it rests besides its mother”

And, while my own small eared cub, rests besides me, I assess the day in my mind

But, deliberately today, I count not the hours, spend in things I didn’t

( cooking, laundry , making a brunch for some friends –everyday chores that autie mums/dads are supposed to feel guilty about, as its time away from the all important parent therapizing )

Instead, I count, all the things I did

Negotiating on the importance of keeping the band-aid on , blowing bubbles, singing many songs, taking the “Little einsteins” for a jaunt down the mountain,

And all the loving (for this is may be my great talent as a mother )

And the day feels well spend

“Ring the bells that still can ring


Forget your perfect offering


There is a crack in everything


That’s how the light gets in”

Leonard Cohen

11 comments:

Yuji said...

Your point is well taken. Stay positive. Celebrate all that you do. And even the things you do for yourself should be cheered as nothing is more important to a child than the health and well being of his mother.

Apples and Autobots said...

What you do is so much more important than what you don't do. Every moment with him is helping him, and every moment you take for yourself is nurturing the person who is most important in his world.

Mr. Daddy said...

"Your life may be the only Bible some people read."
~Author Unknown

I love how you share your thoughts about life...:o)

thanks K

Lizbeth said...

Amen. So many times I look around and see what I've not done and not see what I have done.

Thank you for that reminder.

Julie said...

I can (almost) always hear your voice telling me to be kind to myself when I start with the guilt, etc. Thank you!

Rachel said...

Your perspective is well treasured my friend.

Lisa Quinones Fontanez said...

Absolutely beautiful! All parents feel guilty but I think it's more so when you're a special needs parent. And it's very easy to focus on all we can't or haven't done instead of celebrating everything we have. Thanks for the reminder :)

D. S. Walker said...

Beautifully said my friend! We definitely need to rejoice in the things that really matter; the things we do for our precious children including reading their favorite story.

danette said...

Love this, K (and you!). Our kiddos will remember the memories we made with them, not the checklists we did or did not manage to get completed. Your little guy is blessed to have such loving parents and an abundance of happy memories of family time together :).

lisa said...

K, I do so love this for its universal truths. It is so easy for an "overachiever" to measure the things we didn't do. As always, you inspire me to look at things differently and I plan to post this in my daybook as I begin my own journey to being kind to myself. I am so honored to know you, my friend.

blackknightsbrood said...

Amen.
We must now read the big eared cub book. I loved that last line so much.

Floortime Lite Mama

On my life as the mother of an adorable 5 year old with Autism and Apraxia