Monday, December 6, 2010

Blog Gems: Air your archives

Jen at King and Eye has this fabulous idea

She calls it Blog Gems

Here is the description of blog gems from her post -

what is so fun about this is that I am getting to read some old posts from my favorite bloggers that I had never seen before

Blog Gems - Air Your Archives is a forthnighly linky list where I will give a prompt and you select a post from your archives that fits the prompt. You do not have to create content for the prompt, unless you want to. All you have to do is copy and paste the url of the post into the linky list. Voila, an old post gets a second shot!

Here is what I reposted - an old favorite of mine on the love we get from our kiddos with special needs who it seems sometime have been born with an extra capacity for love

Being Loved

We are continuing with our battles over screen time.

Last night R is throwing a weepy tantrum at not getting the remote.

I lose my temper and tell him in a loud voice that I am disappointed with him

I sensibly know that I am at the limit of my patience and go off to finish the movie "Secret Life of bees" with DH.

The movie is all about a young girls desperate desire to connect with her dead mother and feel loved.

"There is a big hole in my heart where my mother's love should have been " the protagonist says

It occurs to me that a large part of the literature is devoted to the mother's love.

Never to what the child gives to the parent

Perhaps its because the books are written by the adults

In this story, ironically, its the love hungry child that seems full of love.

Last year when I was looking for an Autism sticker, I found there is such a huge preponderance of stickers that say simply "Autism awareness" and many that say " I love someone with Autism".

It seems especially the literature of Autism is focussed on the mother's great devotion and love.

Always from the mother's side it seems that there is the love, the devotion, the desperate search for help for her child.

And from the child's side, there are merely the special neeeds

The autistic child's role only to receive , never to give

Surely a mother's love is a wondrous thing

But what about the child's love?

Last evening after our tantrum, R plays by himself for a while.

When I go back upstairs up and apologise for yelling, R holds my face in his hands kisses me and says simply "Shee Ma " ( sleep with Mama)

Here is all he wants from his bad tempered mother:

That I should be the one to put him to bed

I have never been loved quite this deeply and unconditionally before.

Been the center of someone's world quite like this.

Pure love with no grudges ever.

Here are R and me 6 years ago before I knew of all the things that would happen to us

I wish I could tell the younger K

Its not going to be what you think

It will be hard

But it will also be gorgeous.

While it is true; I do  love someone with Autism

The charming corollary that has blessed my life , is that

Someone with Autism loves me


Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg said...

Oh, how wondrously beautiful! "Someone with autism loves me." Right on.

Alysia - Try Defying Gravityh said...

that last line just reduced me to tears.

If you make that bumper sticker, I will buy a hundred.

Anonymous said...

Oh, K. Your ability to convey love is unparalleled in my reading.

Thank you! Barbara

Þorgerður said...

That is a blog post that well deserved airing :)

Lisa said...

I have been reading (stalking?) you for almost a year since my son was diagnosed but am shy about commenting...with this post, like you often do, you are speaking from my heart. Ditto on wanting that bumper sticker!!

Dani G said...

Love this!!!

Big Daddy Autism said...

It is hard and it is gorgeous. Well said K.

@jencull (jen) said...

So true and I have been thinking about this just this week because my son has been making an approximation of 'love you'. Its great, but he doesn't need to say it because I alreay know and this post says it beautifully:) Jen

Rachel said...

Parenting is never what we assume, right? We are so wise before our children are born! (wry smile)

I love that photo of you and a tiny R. It screams LOVE and affection and deep nurturing. Completeness.

And yes, there is nothing quite like being loved :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, though it is a gem among gems, this may be my favorite post of yours. I love your writing. You have a beautiful heart.

"I wish I could tell the younger K

Its not going to be what you think

It will be hard

But it will also be gorgeous."

Life as the mother of 4 said...

How sweet that thought is! Their love does seem a little different doesn't it? More childlike, more pure, less conditional.

Anonymous said...

This is beautiful.

Kim said...

A true gem! Love this.

Li said...

My favorite post of yours, without a doubt. It always makes me cry.

Coconut Milk Yogurt vs Autism said...

Thank you for this heartfelt post. I also love a child with autism. I am grateful each time my son demonstrates his love for me. Thank you for writing a post that captures this emotion so well.

Elizabeth said...

Beautiful -- so much hope in the photo, no? Thank you for visiting my blog and I look forward to reading more of yours!

Lynn said...

Beautiful...someone with autism loves me too :)

Kim Wombles said...

Oh, beautiful!

Lisa said...


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