Thursday, December 9, 2010

The first week of December


Our alarm clock goes off at 6 - DH usually wakes up first and then he tries to rouse me and R ( who has jumped into our bed sometime in the night)

We wake up grumbling  - R & I - we are NOT morning people( DH is sunny and cheerful though )

DH hugs R ( too tighly ) who rolls over and puts his arms around me, whining reflectively

"Mama hug, Papa Hurt"

Oh how I love declarative language !


This is on strange weekend as we do not go to the cabin owing to a hectic social weekend in the city
2 parties !!!

In the afternoon there is the ASA party

R is currently being taught piano by a lovely lady who has Autism herself and she has set up a talent show in which she insists R takes part

The Auties put up a great show !!

R and she play Christmas music ( she is practically guiding his fingers as he is very blase about being on stage and just wants to go home- but he does look adorable )


She has asked us to come 2 hours early and the party is too long for R

Also, I think this year he is really getting the whole idea of Santa.

Mall Santa and the Santa at the ASA party are rather tame compared to the Santa Claus  we are reading about at home - with reindeer drawn sleighs that come from the sky and elves etc

Seeing Mall /Party Santa from his eyes -

 I totally see his point !

Though ASA party Santa does try his best and does a rather convincing Ho Ho Ho


Are your kids disappointed by real life Santa - or do they consider him to be the real deal ?

In the evening, DH and I go for our Christmas party

As we want to take our Christmas card pictures as well  - we wear dazzling clothes


R takes one look at me and squeals "Queen"

Was there ever a better compliment?

(Well actually there is - DH used to call me his "doe-eyed lovely".

This loses something in translation - the Hindi word -Mriganayani -is far more charming . The delight I got from that compliment has been somewhat tempered by DH's enthusiasm for Venision.!!!  )

R has an evening being babysat by his therapist and they go to Mcdonalds for dinner where he tells her when he goes to the bathroom " its too noisy in here " ( Did you notice? A full sentence !!!! )

He is petrified of the automatic flushes and the hand dryers )

When we return, he and S and snuggled up in bed watching Word World and its clear that he has not missed us at all


My beloved friend L lives close by .

We met online and R and C go to the same class( what a coincidence !!)

We have a play date

Which like Autie play dates go-  comprises me and L chatting and eating lunch while the kids all do their own thing

We have a lovely lovely time chatting about all the things Autie mums chat about - therapies, money , schedules, progress .

And how we have the best kids in the world


In the past couple of months , R has seemed worried about C lately.

 He often wakes up crying in the morning saying

"C is sad.. C is crying  "

As C has always looked perfectly happy to us - this has been a puzzle

But I have been trying to help him be okay with his sorrow by pretend playing with The Little people characters

I call the blond girl- C and the brown boy - R .

We then do a little play where  C says "I am sad' , R says "its okay " C says " I feel much better now "

This is a great comfort to R

Imagine my surprise, my friend tells me that C has actually not been feeling well for the past few months ( she is fine now ) and so she really had been feeling sad for a few months

So R's worry was not unfounded after all


It is bitterly cold .

Dh and I drink ginger tea and watch Law and Order , LA lazily ( not bad , but not a patch on the original )

R jumps right in front of DH

When DH tells him to move and not dance, R does the FUNNIEST thing

He does a full out jig chanting "Am I dancing?" Are you dancing?"

DH and I are in splits

Somedays, the live entertainment in our house is better than what's on TV

In order to not spend the entire evening like slugs - we go to the Mall( our mall is just 5 minutes away )  and ride the train


And play in the little play area


Its interesting to see how much R coexists peacefully with neurotypical kids without showing any desire to interact


While DH has taken R to OT , I quickly get some exercise

DH and I have a tea ritual every evening 

Nowadays I am noticing that R tries to participate in the ritual too by bringing his own DVD or book and drink and asking for a cookie

So today I surprise him by arranging his snack and drink on the tray right along with ours

Oh how satisfied and smug he looks when he sees the tray  on returning!

He is now a bonafide member of the tea ritual



I am very sad in the evening as I have to leave for a work trip tomorrow

Its only two days though

R always senses when I leave and is anxious and teary

So now - I write down a full schedule - exactly when I will leave and when I will come back .

And this really helps him ( though he wakes up at 1 and will not go back to sleep and so neither do I which especially is awful as I have a 15 hour work day ahead of me )

I put some flowers in my cofffee mug to cheer myself up - so I have something lovely to look at when I wake up in the morning and make my tea


I read his book and put him to bed thinking of the day I will miss with my two special people

He drifts to sleep with his sooooo long eyelashes sitting on those round cheeks

"Do you know how happy I am to be your mother ?" I ask

"Yes"  says R


Kim said...

Oh how I love, love, love your posts! Yes, you are very queenly! Gorgeous! I love R - love that he announced the bathroom was too loud! And that he was upset that his friend was sad! Great stuff.

Stories Untold said...

Wow! Its so much fun going over your posts, and so totally inspiring. As much as you are lucky to have R, R is damn lucky to have you for a mum - your enthusiasm and positive attitude is infectious.

In my experience working with children with Autism, I notice that almost all of them have a sort of a wifi connection going on which makes them very intuitive and perspective. My kids could read my mind sometimes, say out my thoughts and I found that eerie. Its possible R can sense something in C thru his wifi.

R is a lovely child, and growing so beautifully :-)


Rachel said...

GAH! So many things to comment on!

How you make me chuckle and smile and get teary-eyed all in one post. Every time..

I love the compliments your men paid to you! Truly!

And how on earth did you manage to keep from wetting yoursef during R's jig? That sounds absolutely hilarious upon retelling!

You three make such an amazing family - each fitting into another.

Rachel said...

And I forgot...

What a darling to have experienced so much concern over C. How caring and nurturing to attempt to help. I think I adore him.

Anonymous said...

I ♥ R. What a sweet, sweet boy. His concern for his friend, his humor and progress...he called you Queen! (gorgeous photo, btw), he was adorable at the piano...he is just so endearing!!

@jencull (jen) said...

Lovely way to get a glimpse into your life. Love the last couple of lines, I say something similar to my children:) Jen

JoyMama said...

You *do* look like a queen! Beautiful and majestic! (So perceptive of your wonderful son.)

I just got the best tip from a friend about automatic-flush toilets -- use a little post-it note to cover the electronic eye.

Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg said...

I absolutely love your posts, especially the ones with such beautiful photos of you and your family!

And yes, autists really do have that wifi that picks up other people's emotions and mental states. I've had it all my life. If you can help R channel his gift for that, you will be doing him a very great service. It can get a little overwhelming at times. :-)

Þorgerður said...

I love your tellings of your day and all those pictures. Sweet and lovely :)

robin said...

My youngest daughter was terrified of automatic toilets for months at one point in her life. I would have to go in and put my hand over the thingie so it wouldn't see movement and not flush! Once we had to go to three different places until she started letting me in with her, lol!

I love the pics! I didn't realize how much your DH and R look alike (from the train picture.) The picture of you two is just lovely!!!

It's sweet how you included his sippie cup and snacks! :)

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

Beautiful - I love the "yes" at the end! And you certainly are dazzling!

Mr. Daddy said...

You guys lead a busy life...LOL does DH's enthusiasm for venison mean that he hunts????

the pics are great you have a beautiful family.....

Anonymous said...

"dazzling clothes" indeed! Matching your dazzling-selves! Treating yourself to flowers for the morning - perfect indicator of your ability to love others, as yourself.


jazzygal said...

Hi there! Returning your visit via Blog Gems.

What a great round up ...I'm about to start mine!

Your R sounds fabulous and he is incredibly cute playing that piano. i do hope he likes it enough to continue :-)

xx Jazzy

Lynn said...

Queen K..that is so fitting. I love the piano picture...those recitals can be stressful, but so fun and so good for them to participate in.

Audrey loves the idea of Santa, but does not want to sit on his lap under any circumstances. She looks at him and jumps up and down and waves.

We used to pretend that one of the brown Little People was her best friend Zain who is Indian :)

Anonymous said...

'Its interesting to see how much R coexists peacefully with neurotypical kids without showing any desire to interact.' i often marvel at how rhema does this, much like R. she's totally aware of children around her even if she does not show it. and she's quite content and happy to do her thing in the midst of them.

you are a doe-eyed lovely queen. what a beautiful picture. what a beautiful family.

Anonymous said...

Hi, i just want to say hello to the community

Life as the mother of 4 said...

Santa, hmm, I don't know if my son knows who he is. Maybe he does but just doesn't care. Of course, he doesn't really care about presents either. But he likes blowing out candles.

Anonymous said...

That is so beautiful, I was thoroughly taken with it. I'm callin gin form Blog Gems - I know I'm late but life hs been sooo busy.
It's lovely to meet you adn I'm captured by your words

kathleen said...

Lovely as always...AND I nominated you for a blogger award. It is at one of my other blogs
please stop by and claim it-:)(there is a meaning behind the blog title)

Lisa said...

I have been three times!
It is only now I could read this post in its entirety.

You know K there is just something about your family that warms my heart and soul.
Love the tea ritual, love his intuitive awareness for his little friend.
Love his sentences.
Love your love for each other.

You my queen are simply beautiful.

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