I feel like my previous post sounds really really despondent- but it really wasnt - well maybe a little
But the truth is that I think I need to back off on the

1. posting on forums
2. looking for magic cures and therapies
3. programming my time
   

I just want to do and I want to be - with R
To enjoy him and savor this time
Truth be told - I am dragging trouble from the future and coloring my present with it
Also I need to Accept and Savor
R has ASD and always will
I love R and always will
He makes me so happy - if only I would let him