September has been a month of ceaseless toil and business trips( three business trips in one month and many 12-14 hour workdays in those business trips ) .
I am trying to gather up the memories of this month before I forget
Thankfully I took pictures which makes it so much easier ( what did one do before the camera phone ?)
Refocus on Floortime
In some part of this month, I noticed a dullness in the way R was.
A repetitiveness in all his passtimes and I was worried about this.
Its not just about screen- time.
DH and I don't worry too much about screen time because between school and therapy - his overall free time is very limited.
And because he works so hard - we really don't want to plan out every hour of his day
(Like all of us- doesn't an autie - deserve to have a balance of work and what he considers play? )
Plus, I also think its okay for me and DH to sometimes just be lazy and watch some TV and drink cups of tea.
That being said, I do worry about the quality of computer time.
So its okay when he is looking for EFL videos and learning vocabulary or watching videos
But it does not feel okay at all, if he rewinds and fast forwards the same video over and over again
I was discussing this with Miss Gypsi .
Her idea was that we need to remind him of all the other stuff that there is to do!
At this, a light bulb went on in my head
( how many times must I learn the same thing over and over again? )
I dedicate an entire weekend to playing and high affect activities and R is literally a different child
Real, high quality attention is like sunshine to R
I try to make every activity and chore fun
When he rejects my ideas of turning the bubbles into snow - I do exactly what he wants to do ( which is make the bubbles fly in the sky )
I try to get him to notice aspects in everyday chores that I know will interest him. I want him to notice
Like, pumpkin patches outside grocery stores
I get him to think about everything - when I make Pizza- I get him to make to help him spread the tomato sauce and cheese.
The trick, I think is to prevent the constant narrowing of the world that happens in times of stress ( as school and hard work are always great stressors )
So the rules are
Find new things
Make the new things fun
I bring out all the Thomas the Trains and we read rhymes about them
( I am struck by how rudimentary his play is and how its stopped at what was taught to him.We formally stopped pretend play a few months ago to focus on the very important "Reading Comprehension" - but then I also remember what a great gift it is that .1. he retains the learning and 2. he is teachable )
DH gets him a pin wheel which we have a lot of fun with .
I think R thinks that the pin wheel is a flower ( as the pinwheel we have in our house is stuck in the ground ) and he smells it carefully
I love the way his mind works
The focus back on Floortime and on R again has a remarkable effect on all of us I think.
DH and I are never happier than when we see R blossoming
I am always touched by how little it takes to make R happy.
The other day he asks for (yet) another set of foam numbers.
DH and I remind ourselves that its important to him - even though its a very childish toy
OMG he is so happy with these numbers.
My eyes fill with tears as he does his happy jig in Walmart after we check out with the numbers in the bag
I resolve to throw out the "appropriateness of a toy for his age" measure that I sometimes( thankfully not always ) have
When I see him dancing, I am simply ashamed that I ever thought dismissively of these 5 dollar foam numbers
The first leaves of fall have come .. it maybe my favorite things in the world.
I spend as much time as we can outside - especially when we are at the cabin.
DH working on his various projects -
The torrential rain makes a great gaping hole in our front area and DH builds a retaining wall.
Having an engineer as your husband is really super helpful !
While R and I play and lounge about on Saturday- which I have firmly told DH is the day of no "shoulds"
I had a birthday in September .
I love the 30's.
I make the mistake of letting R choose where we should go. Since his criteria is based on which restaurant gets him the best color combination of crayons ( red and green for Coke and Sprite ) he chooses Applebees
DH gets me these lovely lovely flowers.
I have bought my official present earlier ( a handbag ).This is our procedure now - we get a gift that we want. But we also do something extra like card and flowers for me and card and candy for DH .
This sounds unromantic but it really takes the pressure off thinking what to get for each other and really cards and flowers from DH are what I really want from him!
Thank you to all of you who wished me on Face book
I feel like I always complain about traveling - but its really not all bad.
The long days while traveling - like yesterday, a day that started at 5 am and ended at 10.30 is quite brutal -
But its mostly my planning which results in this as I like to pack as much work into each day in order to minimize my days out of town
At the same time - I suddenly do find the time to blog.
In fact dear friends, thanks to the WiFi and the enforced free-time I am able to get back to my much loved blogging from a plane.
Plus I really do enjoy working while still missing my DH and R painfully at odd moments.
While making a cup of tea, I will suddenly remember how my DH wraps the string of his tea bag round and round the handle of the cup.
Sometimes I will use our unique family language and realize that no one else gets the meaning.
Like I will use R-speak and say " its gone.. Oh no" when I cannot find something and realize that none of my colleagues know our secret language and are wondering why I speak with such melodrama
I end this post my dear friends.
Please forgive me for its length and the editing errors as the ipad is really not an ideal tool for blogging.
I have missed you - promise to visit all your blogs soon !