Saturday, April 2, 2011

The last days of March


My plan  is to do the bare minimum on at least one day a week and this day is usually Saturday .

How I love this day  -

The only chores are to  feed R and DH- and keep a basic level of clean

I play with R and read and watch movies with DH

Most of all I make sure that I am not constantly reminding myself of all the things I need to do !

be silent today - I tell her my inner to-do list - I  will listen to you tomorrow

One funny thing that happened today is this

R loves me to make the sounds of various musical instruments.

The violin is a particular favorite - This "game " gets old pretty soon I can tell you

So soon I tell him

"All done musical instruments"

He thinks for a couple of minutes and then starts the song

"Old Mac Donald had some instruments .. ee i ee i o .. and in those instruments he had a ......... ( no prizes for guessing ) violin ...eei ee i o .. With a ( then R pauses and looks at me expectantly )
So of course I make the violin sounds

I am so proud of his craftiness ..I think I will burst !!!


Since Saturday is so airy it  basically means that Sundays are crazy busy

We drive back home -

R goes for Play therapy and ABA -

DH and I tackle the cooking - he chops up all the meat and veggies and I do the cooking

This takes me about 4 hours

(as a lot of things that R eats are gluten free and so have to be made from scratch - even convenience foods like Pizza. have to be made from dough

On the plus side ( if you can call it that ) he eats the same 6 -7 things everyday )

Net net Sunday evenings are not times that I can spend much time playing with R .

Plus its raining


He gets me out by bargaining and saying "See Playground"  and "See Farm" ( which are his descriptions of our backyard and DH's vegetable and herb patch)

But then as soon as he is outside he clambers on to trampoline in the cold damp rain before I can stop him

 I jump with him in the cold rain forgetting that kitchen that is waiting to be cleaned  

I can most definitely see some Theory of mind developing - for isn't manipulation the first stepping stone on this road

Tuesday, Wed, Thursday : I forget to write down what I did


 DH has to go to Lowes as he is working on a big - I spend 2 hours playing  with R in his playroom -

I REALLY like his playroom and the big space that we have build there ( DH's idea )


In the morning-R is playing with his new foam numbers set - and  I notice that R seems to know how to add and subtract - ( I say appears as I am not sure if he has memorized it from somewhere or whether he really knows - this is a huge challenge with autistic kids as they don't care about showing off )

- but I see him do 5+5 =10 and then 10-5=5

But  does not know how to multiply correctly as he writes : 3 times 3 = 12

The ASA society has set up a  time for kids with Special needs to bowl at the University

I am a little ambivalent about it as I think the balls will be too heavy for R but DH persuades me to go as R has been doing the Wii Sports Bowling ( with minimal skill ) for many weekends.

This is the thing with R - for must people Wii is the simulation of sports  - For R - real sports are  the simulation of the Wii

We go we have so much fun

Next to us another young boy is playing . He has the young sweet air that many special needs kiddos do -

When he has a "strike " - I squeal and say "You are awesome"

He says " I am not awesome , I am Barney"

For the rest of the time - he high fives me every time he has a great throw.

He reminds me each time to look at him while he is bowling

The way he chooses lighter balls for R and hands them to me - makes me want to cry - so moved am I by his  matter-of-fact kindness

I just love Auties. I really do

And I often am reminded how the way I look at persons with disability has changed - thanks to R .

Its raining heavily when we reach the cabin and we literally don't leave the cabin till Sunday afternoon

DH works on his home improvement project of installing a shower and I spend a day of slothfulness

Its very interesting that while R does not seem to notice what DH is doing ( installing water pipes ) - I later notice that he has found a game on Disney where he is installing water pipes .

I often notice that R tries to copy what DH does - he tried to wear flip flops , he sits in DH's chair every chance he gets


We eat a large amount of mangoes for breakfast and R and I play with his letters

Sunday afternoon and evening are an orgy of chores

I give R a written schedule as I am traveling for the next three days

He looks at it sadly - but its always good to tell him when I will be going and when I will return

Wednesday night late

When I come home - I and Dh watch Parenthood and I drink Baileys.

Gosh its good to be home

R is already asleep - but when he wakes up at 3 am to come to our bed - he is so ecstatic to see me that he spends 3am to 5 am hugging me and stroking my hair

He is just so sweet - DH and I often talk about how we won the kid lottery

Thursday morning

R has been awake till 5 and when the alarm goes off he is fast asleep

Since DH is feeling unwell and R is too tired - I let him sleep for a couple of hours and take him to school myself

I have to sign his "tardy" slip and do the walk of shame !!( he has three therapy sessions after school today - Speech, pretend play and musical gymnastics - so I do think the extra sleep was well worth it - but I am quelled by the stern look of the lady at the school's reception and feel 6 years old myself )

I meet his teacher who talks of mainstreaming him next year

I have MANY concerns about this.

He is so easily distracted - how will he do any independent work ?

But DH and I have agreed that this mainstreaming be the better option as R hates being in his Special needs class - Several of the kids are very noisy in there ( they are lovely kids and not ill mannered or anything like that -  just some of the kids have stims and a couple get distressed easily and frequently )

I adore his Special needs teacher- Mrs S- she says that she thinks R is a brilliant child but that he often has a hard time paying attention - because he is too many things he is interested in.

"Its like the Internet getting slow because there are too many people on it "

This maybe one of the best description of ADD in ASD I have heard !!

I tell her about mine and DH's worry about whether he will be able to do independent work in a mainstream class and she reminds me that neurotypical kids also need reminders - she is right even though its a completely different degree
R is so delighted to have me home that he flings himself on me - every 10 minutes as he is overcome by love


DH and R come to pick me up from the office

In the Parking lot , R pulls me down to get his face close to mine and kisses my cheeks first one side and then the other in the enchanting way he has

A colleague's husband pulls up in his truck

He says "you are a very lucky mother "

"I know " I reply


Big Daddy Autism said...

You are. (Very lucky) But so is R. To have you. Enjoy your Saturday.

Lisa said...

You made me weepy at the end, so sweet.

Anonymous said...

You have a smart little boy there! He sounds so sweet too.

I like the teacher's internet/ASD analogy a lot.

Rachel said...

I love reading about your days! And giggled at R's trickery in getting you on the trampoline! Aren't those moments what life is really about? (I am fairly certain Itty Bit will not remember my clean kitchen one whit - and will remember that we rode bikes through mud puddles :)

Each time you write of R's affection, I smile to myself at the perfect puzzle that your home is... you all fit together.

Mr. Daddy said...

K it is always such blessing reading about your days, I just love positive outlook that you share.

lisa said...

So glad to have reconnected this week and be able to read about your family. I so miss being there...hope we can find a time to get together this summer!

Þorgerður said...

He is doing amazing I love reading of his success :)

Anonymous said...

"I am so proud of his craftiness ..I think I will burst !!!"

hehe! I think of you often when Daniel does something like this! I love the stories of R and it's so wonderful to hear about what he is doing and how WELL he seems to be doing. Thank you for sharing this with us.

I love the ending. So sweet... and so true. :D

Angelina said...

Thank you for your very nice comment on my blog. I look forward to reading more of yours. :)

robin said...

I love that he got you outside and then was able to jump on the trampoline, lol! He's so smart! I like that you took him in later to school (knowing that he was up during the night.) Priorities...phooey on that attendance made a great choice!

Kris said...

R is very smart and "crafty"! I think it is great they want to mainstream, although I understand your concerns. Alex's first year of mainstreaming was a bit difficult with so many kids in the class but he has come a long way. Would he have an aide? There is an autistic boy in Alex's class who is very distractible and he has an aide to help keep him on track.. How wonderful that you can jump on the trampoline! Alex spends hours on the trampoline but it makes me nauseous!!

Patty O. said...

So sweet! I love how your son thought of a way to get you to make the violin sound. So smart!

Lizbeth said...

What a great way to spend your days. He sounds like such an adorable little one.

Navendu Shekhar said...

You know, K, I was just reading your blog archives from mid 2007 - "I am worn out today..." How different that time was. And how far you have come in these years. It is quite an amazing achievement!

Brenda Rothman (Mama Be Good) said...

You are a lovely mother. And a lucky one. We both are. Love the kid lottery line!

Allison said...

I'm catching up today..I just love reading about your 'ordinary' wonderful days, from the mangoes to the trampolines. Interesting to read about your thoughts on the mainstream school. We are struggling with some school decisions, too, though we're getting somewhere, I think. I'm also tagging you for something, because I'd love to learn more about R if you have the time!

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