Friday, October 15, 2010

October Odds & Ends

Here is a little update for all the things I want to remember of this month

Pretend Play

So I do not know if I have mentioned before, but one of R’s interests is Christmas.

Stopping at Cracker Barrel, for instance is always fraught with danger as it has Christmas tree and R demands a Christmas as soon as we get home

Anyway like most Floortime Oriented parents our motto is – No interest shall go unused

And so we have bought these adorable Little people sets

When DH and R return from their Friday musical gymnastics – I set out the Little People package on the table

For the FIRST TIME EVER – R demands that I open the box as soon as he sees it
( This makes us ecstatic as R NEVER cares about presents much – certainly not something that is still in the box )

He fawns over all the reindeers in Santa’s sleigh ( though there is no red nosed reindeer and this is very annoying )

After I put R to bed– we arrange the 2 Christmas sets we have

You should see R’s face when he comes down stairs in the morning

He rushes straight to the toys – all thoughts of the usual morning DVD forgotten

He is playing (Appropriately as the developmental psychologists would call it


He has ideas

His ideas are still islands – not really well connected .

For example Santa comes to the town – says Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas

But he does not do much else

The kids dance around the Christmas tree but that is all they do


While he is very very apraxic still – he is talking more and more

Even little phrases

Like yesterday when he tries to wake us up instead of the usual “stand up “ wake up”

He says – “Wake up … go eat tea” ( DH and my weekend morning ritual ) … and then points outside and says “when the sun is up .. it means wake up

Yesterday on the trampoline

He is shooting baskets ( standing right next to the basket – lest someone think I am hiding a Michael Jordan here )

And he goes – S is for Soccerball , B is for Basketball and then he says R is for ..

I obligingly complete with his favorite R word “Rudolph the red nose reindeer

He says “no, R is for R_____( his name , my favorite R word )

Really I am just soooooo grateful my cup of happiness runneth over.

I know there is a long way to go but I simply pay no attention to it anymore .

I just look at the next step ahead


One of our good friends is having a birthday party for their 2 year old and invites us

They are very very very welcoming of R always

Pretty much all our friends are very accepting of R - but these two go a little beyond

For instance her MIL has bought a present for R - just becasue their daughter will be getting a present

We have told R about the birthday party well in advance

He has been practicing with the Sepctrum connections DVD Birthday Party scenes

( really the child has SUCH a desire to learn )

he behaves really well at the birthday party

The one thing that sets him apart is the stimming and the "eeee" sounds

Its a large barbecue so at one point in time he wanders off happily and suprises two people by randomly saying eeeee to them

For some reason their surprised faces makes us laugh uproriously

Though DH and while watching Dexter late in the night realize that we should take a page from Harry's( dexter's dad's )  book and teach R how to "act normal "

( For those of you who dont watch Decter the basic premise of the show is that - a police inspector ( harry ) adopts a boy called Dexter who has homicidal tendencies. So Harry teaches Dexter how to only kill bad people and also how to act normal . he is kind of a vigilante serial killer )

We dont ever want him to feel that stimming is bad or wrong ( becasue really for many auties - stimming is a release that calms them down )

 But we do want him to be able to stim in private

So that one day - if it matters to him - he can pretend for periods of time - to act neurotypical

I think a lot of autistic adults I know make attempts to blend it - but they learn how to do it in a hit or miss fashion

I think all parents of Auties need to have a 10 -20 year planning horizon for their child and then think of all the little steps that are needed to accomplish this goal

So for instance at 26- my dream for R is  to have, Happiness , to be  good humanbeing and have some way to make a living and hopefully also have friendship and love

Frankly I think the seeds are laid for many of these already


We are also noticng a much greater sense of awareness

For instance last weekend when we are at an Aquarium at an Autism event - R goes to a "shark" instead of running away

 He expereince the Aquarium instead of being dragged from exhibit to exhibit

He notices the Halloween exhibits and coos at them "Happy Halloween" and counts the pumpkins


At the candy store - he takes a large lollipop and plonks it down at the check out counter next to me

Walks in the woods

we do much walking and treasure hunting in the woods these days

The Fall weather is just idyllic -

here is some treasure we discover last time.

 I am in equal parts disgusted as well as charmed by the tortoise shell


I write this post in my most favorite part of the weekend - friday evening

As its Fall break  for R - I have taken a couple of days off .

I cleared out closests yesterday and have generated 4 bags of clothes for Goodwill

We used to stick on to R's old clothes for sentimental reasons earlier  but we think now that its more fun to donate them right before winter so a child can have a a really warm and fashionable coat and trendy outfits

DH has done all the grocery shopping etc while I cleared two closets  . We have cooked . We have done laundry

On Monday the mad crazy week begins with all its stresses

But between then and now the weekend waits

With that feeling, I write  to the sound of the wind in the pines

I am in my favorite season,

In my favorite place

With my beloved husband and son

God's in heaven and all is right with the world !


Rachel said...

Whew! I came by earlier and it wouldn't let me leave a comment!

So lovely - I love all the things he's learned lately - and that he is finding pleasure in interacting!

And a boy after my own heart! I adore Christmas!

Þorgerður said...

Lovely pictures, I am glad you are well and enjoying your favourite season. :)

Kim said...

I think I probably say this every time I comment on your posts--but I LOVE reading your updates! I love them, I do! R is doing so well, so many of these little steps add up to the BIG steps. Go R! Have a fabulous weekend, I can just imagine you all in the woods, soaking up the fall sunshine. :)

Big Daddy Autism said...

So many awesome developments! I hope it continues and continues and continues.

essbesee said...

beautifully put and so many great new things going on - it is so great to watch our children change and grow.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

So wonderful to read this! I especially identified with "His ideas are still islands – not really well connected" - that is such a fantastic way to put it, and something I am very familiar with because many of Nigel's ideas fall into that category.

Mr. Daddy said...

"God's in heaven and all is right with the world !"

Always love stopping by and reading about your adventures K.

Hope your weekend was fantastic. and your week is blessed.

Anonymous said...

I too love reading your updates. You always remind me of things to look for, things to think of, things to think about.
I love what youdid with his love for christmas! You're brilliant!

Anonymous said...

(Quick - go check if you have R's full name in the post.)

We had a lovely weekend away from home so I am visiting late.

I am tickled by his interest in Christmas tradition. The new toy reminded me of the movie The Polar Express. Is that a part of your/his interest? Perhaps that movie would give him ideas for his play?

I like to place toys in specific places to cause the child to move. What if..... you placed the toys on separate pieces of furniture in-sight with the gathering toy/place on a large table? Perhaps that would prompt him to give reasons to bring the toys together? Just an idea.

I enjoy your posts as much as everyone else. A lot!

Anonymous said...

"I know there is a long way to go but I simply pay no attention to it anymore. I just look at the next step ahead." LOVE THIS.

Anonymous said...

ummmm I could really bite him! He is way too cute with his Christmas toys.

Anonymous said...

your posts never fail to warm my heart! <3

Lynn said...

OH I love Christmas too...R and I would so get along. And I LOVE those Little People sets...they are the cutest!! Do you put the batteries in? We used to have a ton of them but never put the batteries in for the light/sound stuff otherwise that's all Audrey did and it impeded her ability to do other play schemes.

Audrey does the "eeeeee" too...someday they will learn to keep it to the privacy of their own room/car, etc. Like when I talk to myself!

Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg said...

You are doing such an awesome job of loving and supporting your son. It's always a pleasure to read your posts.

I want to say something about stimming, since you mentioned it. Stimming is relaxing for almost all auties. I don't know any auties who don't stim. It helps to regulate and soothe our very harried nervous systems, and it's necessary to our ability to function. There are some stims that I do in public, because they're pretty socially acceptable, and there are NTs who do them, too. (Something like 10% of NTs stim.)

It would be good if you could work with R to make use of stims he can use out in the world, because they come in very handy in times of stress (exams, deadlines, crowded rooms, sudden noises, the misdirected anger of others, etc.). I don't like to think of autistic people having to hold in all the discomfort and overload that comes of navigating the world till they get home. That just leads to private meltdowns, which can wreak havoc with self esteem and relationships. Since I've been able to let myself stim, I don't have meltdowns, because I'm caring for myself.

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Thank you my dear friends for your lovely comments - how i love them

@RCR you are right of course - thank you for the valauble point
The idea should be obvioulsy be to find a stim that is easy to do in public
Cannot believe I missed that point since I talk so much about the importance of stimming which really should be called "soothing"
And how one should never remove a stim one should only replace it

Casdok said...

All sounds very positive :)

Lisa said...

K I can't believe how much R is progressing.
I really love this post because I got to hear about all of R's prgression.

I am so in awe of this lovely little boy.

Brenda Rothman (Mama Be Good) said...

Wonderful, wonderful! He is growing every day!

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