Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Week of April 17- in which we have an IEP


R has been kind of lackadaisical lately

This is the difference between R’s highs and lows

In his highs- there is a real gleam in his eyes and his interactions are very plastic – there will be new styles of interactions and new patterns

He seeks me out a lot to play

His lows are defined by a sort of repetitiveness in the interaction, less flexibility

He seeks control a lot more and is happy to go from screen to screen

He will tell me to sing a song – then ask me to stop mid way and then ask me to switch to another

It reminds me of the way he loves to have a the remote of the TV in his hand - so he can rewind over his favorite bits and forward over the boring bits

Its all about control really

But the real question is why he seeks control

He is not doing badly or regressing or anything like that , example I overhear him in the morning with E she is getting him to describe all his toys and he does in the following fashion - here is an example of how he describes Austin- a Backyardigan

This is new - every time I see evidence of original thought –and on top of that a verbal expression of that original thought - I rejoice

In these times of lows , I really don’t know what is the right course of action –

Should I step it up or should I lay back ?

I usually simply do what feels right

II decide to take it easy today and don’t pressure myself to do any planned Floortime at all –

And its good for me and as he has had two ABA sessions I don’t kick myself too much

In the night however – he is very distressed that he has had no time with me at all – and wails and demands to jump etc

He keeps insisting that I sing a song in the bathtub – I cannot make out what he wants me to sing

I take him to the computer and he types out pompously – I R____ ( his name ) and then he dissolves in tears and will type no more

DH and MIL reupholster the dining room chair and they look magnificent


Again R demands screen after screen in the morning and I let him as we will spend the day in the mountains

We go to our ( almost our ) cabin in the mountains – and have a picnic of homemade chicken Salad sandwiches ( this is one thing I am really proud of my own recipe - marinate chicken in yogurt and ginger, garlic coriander and cumin – cook the next morning – shred with chopped mint+ cranberries and pecans – and use between bread )

Really its soo peaceful and calm – you cannot hear a thing!

R lolls around the wrap around porch with Pablo – I have won major brownie points by showing how to make a butterfly with Pablo’s hands

He makes me do the tune for V for Violin ( from the Sesame street Keyboard-arama) over and over and over

He was playing with the Beanie Babies and identified Ruby as having “Wikers” ( whiskers)

SO I quickly build on that theme and identify the others who have wikers – Swiper and Babay Jaguar

I insist we go out and suggest we take the people with whiskers out to jump

But R – says “Kagoos jump” ( kangaroos jump ) and so we take Austin out ( my heart bursts with pride )

We jump slide and play and have a great time !

R explores everything outside with such interest and so much appropriateness that I am simply thrilled


Another very good evening

We are building on pretend play and language quite well ( BTW please don’t think that this means he is becoming NT or anything like that – just that language is building in a very natural normal fashion - even though he is VERY VERY behind)

In the evening I rush through the routine though R is claiming as its allergy season that his eyes “skatch” and” itch”( scratch and itch )

After I finish bedtime and go back to the bathroom this is what R has written on the side of the bathtub

I guess R’s eyes were really hurting


Very busy day – DH drops me to the sirport at 6 am and I spend the whole day in Cincinnati having very interesting day in research and return home late in the night – DH picks me up at 10 in the night

I am dead tired but R wakes up several times in the night coughing

At one point he wakes up coughing yet again and I say his name in a groan

To my utter mortification – R says remorsefully “Sorry muther”

And I feel like a evil heel and apologise humbly


We have his IEP meeting at school today

His teachers and school are very sweet – his speechie class teacher etc gush about how wonderful he is and itemize all his amazing traits ( from his cleverness and hugs to the amazing length of his eyelashes ) and how much they love having him in school

I adore his teacher – she is seriously awesome – I feel like she really cares about R

They say he does not qualify for ESY and we are okay about that and frankly are glad that some other child will be able to benefit from this service

Not a big fan of the OT whose only comment is that we should reduce his OT services – this we strongly request not happen –

I wish we had a different OT – so I am not sure whether begging for his OT to stay at the same level was any use or not

We are successfully able to argue for some mainstreaming and some pullout in a small classroom instruction instead of full mainstreaming

DH and I are very nervous about him being lost in a large class and we talk about how important that fact that he goes to school with a smile on his face is

His self esteem staying high is a critical goal

His teacher is very nice and says we have done a miracle with him and talk about how much he has progressed over the past year and how lucky he is to have us as parents

I tell her that the luck is all ours and we won the lottery when we became his mum and dad

And it’s the truth

I cannot bear to leave school without meeting R but R is stunned – his worlds are colliding and he kisses me with tears rolling down his cheeks when I say bye

At home we do Wii Sports and play with all his toys

Though all he wants is electronics - when bedtime comes around he throws a first class tantrum and demands to Jump
Alternating with pleading , demanding and saying he is soo sorry

Of course since he has thrown a tantrum i cannot encourage it and sternly put him to bed - he looks so cute while manipulating me that I have a hard time not kissing him

I dont want him going to bed thinking I am angry though so kiss the top of his head as he drifts off to sleep in the crook of my shoulder and tell him that I love being his mother
And I do


Mr. Daddy said...

And I love reading your posts and being your bloggy friend... *grin*

Have a great rest of the week. :o)

Kim said...

The manipulation--they are cute when they figure that out! I am the same way--have to be stern but then I go back in and tell him I love him and reassure him with kisses. I cannot stand the thought that he may be laying in the dark thinking I'm mad at him.

So glad you had a good IEP -- they can be stressful!

Kris said...

I enjoy reading your blog. My son is fully mainstreamed with a special ed teacher in the room for him and 2 other students. One of the other students also has an aide that is just for him. I really like having him mainstreamed with the IEP in place to make sure he does not fall through the cracks. Sounds like you had a good meeting!

Trish said...

I know you felt bad about groaning when he woke up yet again in the middle of the night, but how wonderful that he recognized and responded to your tone.

Keep standing up for what you he needs at school. You can call a meeting to talk about the IEP at any time, so if the plan isn't working out, don't hesitate to ask for a meeting to discuss how they are going to fix it.

I am still fighting the battle about the need for the school to adapt music class for Michael or let him out of it.

Li said...

Delurking to say your blog makes me cry often--in a good way. Glad the IEP went well.

Floortime Lite Mama said...

how I love your comments
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment

Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading these so much!! Sending lots of love to you guys.

Þorgerður said...

He will tell me to sing a song – then ask me to stop mid way and then ask me to switch to another

Sturla does this as well, playing the remote control on me.
I am not always as happy to oblige hahaha. Lately I just started singing gibberish and be the utter fool. he likes that though and now sometimes asks for the blah blah song. Lol.

robin said...

I always love your weekly write-ups. The description of Austin is definitely original! I watch the Backyardigans all the time and never actually realized that he was a kangaroo, lol! I agree with his teachers, he has progressed a whole lot during this last year! He's trying very hard and I this he's just awesome!

SoCo mom said...

Oh my gosh, so sweet! Even the manipulation ;-)

Yay for you and R. It sounds like there have been a lot of victories.

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