Tuesday, September 29, 2009

More weekly round up Thursday onwards

Thursday

We meet some friends for dinner. We have been trying to schedule time together and it turn out if we depend on weekend schedules we shall meet next year. So on an impulse we decide to meet THAT day . Its a really nice famly place - shiny clean - fries to die for. The owner comes and meets us.

R behaves very well - he is very hungry and wolfs down his food . once food has been eaten - he does a few stimmy dances. I tell my friend firmly that he is doing VERY WELL( inspite of his stimmy behavior ) I suppose I am secretly scared that she will feel sorry for me as she is meeting R after 2 years. She says of course he is !

her son is a simply divine child - about 13 - and he is so sweet to his mum when he was 6 or 7 - making his mum little jewelery in crafts class. I tell him that he made me realize that having a kid may not be such a bad thing after all ( I was never much of a kid person - till I had R ). He is red with pleasure

As we have eaten dinner outside R has missed his TV - so in order to see his TV ( and knowing I will never refuse food ) - he runs to the frig and writes EAT DINNR( its funny to see him spell wrong as he is marvelously accurate with the words that he is interested in )



Any I DO let him watch TV but also DO feed him some pureed veggies ( so as to not let him do this trick again)

Friday

Is another evening that buzzes away without noticing

We watch an alarming amount of TV after R goes to bed

I cut only the front part of R's hair as he cries piteously when his hair is being cut . But the front part MUST be cut as its getting into his eyes.
So I cut some bits from the front promising just 5 snips. he eyes me suspiciously as I do the countdown!

This I am SURE is the way the Mullet originated .

Someone's wimpy mother - too wimpy to cut all his hair, but also fearling blindness from all the hair in the eyes just  cut the front part

Saturday

DH chops and I cook furiously in the morning
We are all done by 1 . its still raining thunderously
By the afternoon I shake my fist at the grey skies and am DETERMINED to have fun - I end up remembering that a fellow college had  told me about this cheerleading place which lets you do free play - we go and its a MARVEL - 5 dollars for an hour and its a sensory delight - R has a marvelous time ( and so do I )

We go to Home Depot to get our new front door - its brigt red and has a screen - which is lovely as all the Fall I love to have the house as open as possible trying to get in all the fresh air I can in preparation for the lousy winter
One alarming thing I am noticing in R's propensity to just wander off in the store ( in a flash of a second )
In the night before I go to sleep - I am seized with a HUGE moment of PANIC - I have been so lazy with Floortime these days

Sunday

Is GLORIOUS - its like all these days of rain never were - the sky is blue and everthing is shiny and fresh and clean

We go to the park with my gorgeous friend and her two gorgeous daughters - we have a simply marvelous time- Her daughter goes to school in the same class as R and R perked up when I wrote her name on the schedule this morning But at the park all three ignore each other.

Autie kids are so peaceful to be with and L and I have a lovely time while our kiddos just play by themselves peacefully - coming to us from time to time for hugs or to explore our purses for treats or lotions
Its so nice to be with someone who is completely in my parallel universe as we understand each other perfectly!
L boasts" C lied to me yesterday" and I clap my hands in delight ( only an Autie mom would know what a marvelous developmental leap the desire the decieve for your own gain is )
At home I basically either take R out or feed him - so we jump in the trampoline or go for a long walk
One funny thing I notice is how easily R is able to sequence logic - so when I take June of Little Einsteins and place her on J in the alphabet sheet - he quickly puts Leo Annie and Quincy on L, A and Q !

Once R is in bed, DH and I watch Murder Mystery theater on PBS - which is marvelous and  spectacular.
We also watch Desperate Housewives - but the prior show has ruined me with its high quality and the characters in Desperate Housewives seem petty, shallow and unidimensional. ( I know I will enjoy it again next week as I love its gossipy feel   -but today I am too high minded and sophisticated and about subtlety and art )
I have a hard time sleeping and make a vow to go to bed early tomorrow ( which as you see I shall break tomorrow )

Monday


I come back and loll around with R- I start a game with R of Wonderpets - but his teacher calls to tell me she wanted to say "Some progress " instead of "no progress" in his report card. on word approximations.

I take the chance to thank her sincerely  as R goes to school everyday with a smile on his face and this means the world to me !
She tells me that R is a joy and she simply loves him and makes my day
R wants to watch TV so I suggest that we do the Wii Fit ( he makes me do the exercises but he has to vocalize all the words and therefore has some value compared to the TV which is alarmingly passive )
Then we jump on the trampoline and go for a long walk
On the walk - in the stroller - he  throws his shoe down and I do not notice it - He picks out his other shoe and sneakily put its behind him to make me realise that the other shoe is missing while not actually confessing!

I squeal in alarm and tell him that his father will skin him alive as the shoes are a 40 dollar pair of crocs -(  we bought them at the beach last year - we wanted to let R choose and of course he picked the most expi one.) ( DH is the gentlest thing by the way and would never hit R - I just speak in hyperbole and make bloodcurdling threats out of habit ) - we turn around and R quickly points to the shoe and then puts it back on firmly.
The rest of the evening passes too quickly!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Weekly Round up W/O Sep 19th

Saturday


Is a marvelous day - DH chops food and I cook busily in the morning. This is the time when we also get a lot of chatting done with the background sounds of the knives, the questions of how-do-you-want-this-cut and my answers of slices-so-thin-that-they-are-invisible,  the sizzle of olive oil  and all the smells of the herbs and spices.
If the alternative cost of time was not so high I would really enjoy cooking - but I always have so much else to do!
Its my birthday and I get flowers and the sweetest( OMG so sweet )  cards from DH and R( eventually R's card is too sweet and he  does not want to give his card to me as the card sings)  and also from my friends and flowers and so many wishes
I love all the fuss very much!

In the afternoon we go to the Spanish festival - R meets a therapist who had worked with him till 6 months ago and she starts to cry when he says  Hi! and then when we are leaving waves Bye  and also says it !
He is talking now she says breathlessly. While he is only saying a few words that are perfectly understandable -  its true.

In the evening   we celebrate my birthdayparty with hats and a sign and a cake( which is actually a cupcake that R has chosen - a truly terrible thing - full of artificial color and fuss  -still its dear to me and I am glad that DH went with R's choice !

Ris thrilled with the hats ( though he wont wear one himself)  and the sign that DH has hung on the window that says Happy Birthday with ELMO all over it .( These are all remnants from his 2nd birthday party - we now only celebrate his birthday with all the things HE wants to do rather than what a typical birthday party.  As a result he and we - have a lot more fun!. This principle  has proved to be the theme of our life- to do what works for us  )

 I dont think R quite gets birthdays but we will practice on DH's next month and then on his own in November

Sunday

The euphoria of all the love fest from the birthday is behind me and I am unacccountably grumpy - the weather is dreary and R is sooooo stimmy.
A proper sensory diet is critical to all of our wellbeing

We go to the Mall and of course R makes a beeline for the Apple store. He is terribly stimmy there. Fortunately all the kids are very ill mannered- shouting, screaming and running around like angry dervishes,  and R does not stand out at all. ( When I look around at the moms I am comforted by everybody's  sheepish harried look that mirrors my own )
Amidst all the converstations going around us  - I overhear a mum asking about the Iphone App for Autistic children - ( how do our brains pick up the relevant things like names in an airport ?- is a marvel) .

I evasdrop but the Apple guy has no clue.

I feel such a bond with moms of Auties and I want to hug this mum and tell this mum about all the PECS etc that we have and ask her if her son can read, brainstorm on ways how "we" can help him  etc etc.

There is a thin line between people who have restraining orders against them and those that dont. Luckily good sense prevails and I choose to stay this side of that thin line

Monday

I cannot come back from work early and I am VERY VERY grumpy and badtempered as I do not have ANY time with R.
 its all eaten up in the logistics of the evening's activities

I scowl and sulk my way through the evening feeling VERY PUT UPON and martyred

Ironically we had an event at work when we had to tell the other person the main thing they liked about each other.- the thing that everyone likes most about me - its almost unanimous is my "positive outlook" "ray of sunshininess" "sense of humor" .

If they could only see me now

in the night when r is in his bath - as I leave the room to take a shower myself - R quickly says  "twikuh twikuh"and blinks his hands in the universal way children across the world gesture to twinkle twinkle little star. I am so touched that now when he wants me to stay he does not simply cry - Instead, he tries to Floortime with me

I have insomania in the night and finally toss and turn my way to sleep at 3 - turning the pillow round and round for the cooler-other-side- going over my onerous to-do list in my head!

Tuesday

DH is off to play golf !

Surprisingly( and charmingly )  the weather forecast is all wrong and the sun is out ! How great is that !!!

I make GF Pizza for R, Tomato Basil soup ( all ingredients from DH's garden )!

We play outside and R simply does not want to come in - Lucy calls to ask about how to save email attacments - and I am so sleepy it takes me a long time to understand what she is asking - finally we laugh and I give up and I ask DH to stop by on his way home

Due to no sleep last night - I fall asleep at 9 and have a hard time waking up at 6 which is a pity as I slept with wet hair and it looks like I have a hedgehog on my head in the morning and have to spend aeons straightening it in the am

R is  always so thrilled when I put him to bed . he keeps wriggling happily - jumping from one  side of me to another

He is also ( like me ) a compliment junkie !

When I wake him in the morning I always tell him how beautiful and wonderful he is - and he starts his day preening with pride .  I notice as I am getting ready in the morning and he is watching TV and eating breakfast - when we talk about him he presses the Pause button and listens carefully!

Wednesday

The rain holds off and its a marvelous evening - eminently ordinary but still marvelous.

DH and I see the Season premier of House - House is finally redeeming himself and I am so thrilled.

 R and I take a long walk with him in the stroller . We try to play out the scene of the Wonder Pets rescuing the panda and it does not work too well but we still have fun

Suddenly in the bathtub he realises he does not have the number 2 and runs around urgently- wet and slippery- but alas the 2 is elusive - even though he hunts in the car diligently as he remembers that  had carried the 2 with himself when DH and he went to get flowers for my birthday.

R now likes me to say the numbers backwards 100 to 1 when I swing him
This happens once before and he had started to cry when I said 1..2...3..and then I guessed and reversed the order
today I decide I will teach him to show by gesture to say ( instead of guessing)

1. sign for 100
2. say the word  "to"
3. sign for 1

he gets it immediately and is very triumphant - I suppose there is the added reassurance  of now knowing how to ask for something and therefore knowing he can ask for it again

what they say about teaching  a man to fish is right

Saturday, September 19, 2009

SOOC Saturday: Tablelamps in trees

I turn 35 today.

I have loved the 30's - more than any other decade in my life .

Like a friend of mine says about the 30's  "Life is changing a lot but its good "

A lot of the goodness of this decade has come with becoming more resilient and being open to life and the road it takes me down

Now I know for sure  that not getting what I want in life does not mean not loving what I get 

When I was expecting R - when people would ask if I wanted a boy or a girl - I would always say - all I want is normal

Well you see how that turned out !

A child who reads before he talks

Makes little crosswords but does not get hide and seek

Carries vowels instead of  a blankie

Worships numbers before he likes stuffed animals

And so on.

It seems to me that happiness is a choice.

A choice to spend mourning the life we were meant to have.

 or

To celebrate the one that we do have.

Another friend says "the bend in the road is only the end of the road if you refuse to take the turn"

So what if I did not get a typical child.

I did get the best one.

If there one thing I know, its that the unexpected oddest out of place things can be the most beautiful ones

Like Tablelamps hung from  trees.

Unexpected

Odd

And  Utterly Marvelous

Spotted on a sidewalk in Denver and taken with  phone. For more phone with Straight out of camera visit Melody



Wednesday, September 16, 2009

To be a positive reflector

We are at the DMV to renew my license.

We have gone really early in the morning to beat the crowds.DH has come as  a "come with"

Come-withness-is one of the essential qualities of a good friend,

A come-with friend will walk with you to get a cup of coffee even though they are practically bubbling with acidity  inside owing to the three cups of coffee they just had.

This friend  will come to the restroom with you, will stand in your kitchen while you cook and will drive with you to the donut place even when they are on a diet.

At the DMV - we find our early trip has paid off and we are one of the few people there.

I am filling out the form and the man who hands out the form and a number - is bantering with me
We joke about the sillliness of forms -

He tells me how nice my picture on the old license is. I tell him that his is the reason why I have been so dreading my license expiring. ( which, vain creature that I am, is the truth)

When I come back - I whisper to DH- "I think he thinks I am cute".

When I go to submit the form  - the man's supervisor is telling him off

The man  has opened an envelope that should not be opened. Its something to do with the case of a DUI - a mum and a teenage son who stand around  looking anxious and sheepish.

The supervisor is treating the man  like a small child.The man  is crestfallen

I look away - hating being witness to another's being cut down to size

Its an act of cruelty.Especially when done in front of others

After  my form is processed, I am with the man again to get my photograph taken.

But its as though he is  a different person !

Gone is the banter. Gone are the smiles.

He has his guard up and does not want to spend a minute more with me than he has to.
I have been witness to his humiliation.

As I smile woodenly for my photograph,  I am thinking of how the warm approval of those around is so essential for us to blossom.

I have seen this same phenomenon at work - in every aspect of my life

At work without the affection and approval of their bosses - employees wither away.

Spouses shrivel with scathing partners

Friendships die

But,  then of course, my heart twists in pain for our young vulnerable  autistic children who are surrounded by people who are constantly correcting them

Implicit in so many of our actions in so many of our therapies  is the message to them

what you are doing is wrong...see this is how we do it.. look into my eyes even if you dont feel like it .. stop opening and shutting the door.. now  stop playing with those numbers - look here is what you must play with .. here is a dolly..

And on and on 

Employees can quit jobs where they are not nurtured

Spouses can leave .

As can friends

But little children?

They have no choice but to stay where they are.

As R grows and I grow as a mum, I am seeing that even more important than teaching him  all the things he  needs to know - perhaps a bigger  gift is to  give him  the atmosphere of implicit warmth and approval- so he open up and wants to learn

It does not mean not teaching him  - but teaching him  in an atmosphere of warmth, approval and expectation of great things always.

It means praising sincerely all the good  and looking for the good

It  means believing that their best days  is who they really are (and their bad days are simply, bad days )

Most of all, it means  being  the ultimate positive reflector for R.
So when R looks in my eyes, he sees the loveliest shiniest image of himself reflected back
Its why Floortime( or Sonrise or RDI) will always be my therapy of choice

My friend M  has a son- a completely independents delightful young man who once had PDD and is now doing great , as she says "without any fancy therapies"

She once said "happy kids learn.....that is the bottom line"

And I think she is right!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

SOOC Saturday Grateful Heart


You who has given so much to me
Give me just one thing more
A grateful heart

- Prayer by George Herbert


For more fun with SOOC pictures or to participate yourself - visit Melody's wonderful blog Slurping Life and check out all the photo links 

Thursday, September 10, 2009

W/o Sep 4th

Saturday and Sunday 

Saturday morning is a FRENZY of cooking
I promise to post the recipes soon
At noon
My friend and her fiancee and her two dogs come for the pampering weekend.
She loves everything.
 She seems so relaxed after the spa time  that every penny feels well spend. One of her bridesmaids has created some drama and gone out of the wedding and and I am so thrilled to see the worry lines leave my friend's eyes
I am also a little guilty as I feel I am neglecting R. I find I can no longer socialize for days ( an evening away from R is about as much as I can handle and that too rarely ) without guilt
The dogs are adorable and follow me everywhere hoping for scraps of food.( their hopes are well justified as they are good judges of a softie- I justify giving them people-food by making sure wverything is whole grain and organic )
Their cold dark noses pressed to my behind  pretty much the whole weekend

Unfortunately R is allergic to dander( and since he also follows me everywhere along with the dogs he is getting exposed to it a lot )  and falls sick.

Sunday  we go out to a  fancyinsh restaurant and have a blast
-
R stays home with one of his therapists who also acts as a babysitter.
What we dont know is that today is a big fireworks show in Downtown.
So dinner is a little delayed but yummy
And then the parking lot is jammed  - it takes us an hour to get out of the parking garage .
I text and let the babysitter know but I am torn with guilt
 Its  11.30 by the time we reach home and we find R waiting by the window. He sulkily goes to the computer as I am talking to the babysitter instead of fawning over him.
 I guiltily tip the therapist extra though she repeatedly says its fine -

Monday 
Is a holiday
As soon as they leave on Monday we leave for the airport .
Why the airport ? Nobody is going anywhere . There is a story there.
Last Wednesday_ when R and DH had come to pick me up from the airport -
R had been bereft that we did not stop at the airport.
First  he loves the airport -
Second he feels we have breached our contract.
What DH said to him was this  - we will go to the airport and pick up Mama
R  had an expectation that he would be visiting the airport as in go inside coo at the luggage carousel, ride the escalator etc
He has been carrying this hurt  and betrayal with him all week
Last night he is tired and hungry and has a meltdown he keeps crying Biituh bittuh

I tell him that nhe needs to help me understand and not cry. I take him to the computer and open Word and type in "What does R want?"

Weeping he types in BIGJET( this is what we  tell him when we go to the airport )

I realize that this is a big deal for him and tell DH that we must go to the airport as soon as we can.
The trouble with a kid who remembers everything is that .. well they remember everything
R is thrilled when we reach the ariport.

But the trouble is that he also wants to take the flight. I show him the sign that says "ticketed passengers only beyond this point"and ask him where our ticket is ?

He is nonplussed at this and resignedly turns back towards the parking garage

We go Go Karting which I enjoy almost more than him
(R's allergies are still bothering him )

Back home to a frenzy of vaccuming and washing everything that the dogs touched to get rid of all the dander

Tuesday

I and DH have our date lunch .
While I am burning with resolve to get back on my diet - we have a free desert coupon.
And they have Hazelnut Chocolate Mousse on the menu - this is the trimvurate of temptation for me.
DH reassures that mousse is "all air" and therefore practically fat free. I eat a little of it !
DH leaves for golf in the evening - I really love it when he gets guy time as being a full time Dad or mum can become very lonely

In the evening we( R and I, not DH and I )  loll around with the Backyardigans plush toys and he also makes me say all the character intros of the Little Einstein  and also do the Wii together

When his therapist comes - I take some Dal Makhani and cheesecake - to my friend I found online who lives quite close now
I and L kept planning to meet like I and Miranda have been - But its taken her moving across one street for us to actually visit. Hopefully Miranda will also move into my neighborhood!

I am soooo touched to see that she has made a gift for R !

Photobucket

I am so lucky in my friends(  touchwood )

I play with her daughters for a bit-
And then its time for our evening routine - R is charmed by his painting and I tell him who gave it to him - later on when I ask him who gave it to me he says Khas Bub ( C's mum )

Wednesday
One of my work friends takees me out for Sushi.( as its my birthday next week )
I am a pillar of virtue today - I eat sushi and only sushi
After sushi when she takes me to a cupcake store - I do not eat a cupcake but get one called Chocolate Tuxedo for DH for the evening
I have left Chicken Chili ( indian style chinese food ) for DH.

I tell him over the phone about what I have left him for lunch. I also tell him about my meal planning strategy. If he must eat without me  -I leave him meat and potato type things . This is to compensate for my absence.

When we are eating together I make healthy things as I no longer am compensating for anything
"So",I conclude to him" its either meat or me, what do you prefer ?"
"Meat "says DH and then completes "ing you" ( meeting you)
Of such nonsense are happy marriages made
In the evening R and I do - what I mentioned in my last post

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

If you want to move someone, find out what moves them

"If you want to move someone,  find out what moves them."a speaker said at a work meeting. He is speaking to Marketers about consumers

But I am thinkng of this statement today, as I am playing with R in the evening.

The child loves technology.

The WiiFit and the DVD are his toys of choice

While ideally our children are supposed to spend their time with "appropriate" toys and minimal time with electronics - its hard to enforce this strictly.

Largely for reasons of compassion.( some for reasons of laziness and fatigue )

Most Autistic kiddos work so hard between school,  therapy and appropriate play in their  precious carefree childhood years that it seems so heartless to take up their little free time with more of the things they should be doing

In the evening during R's ABA, I  watch a rerun of a House MD  show about an Autistic boy.

House , commenting on the amount of therapy the boy gets, says to Cameron( I think he empathizes with the feeling of being an outsider)

"there is an inner circle of skinny white people and there are the people who dont belong... like this Autistic boy.... The people in the inner circle must beat all the people on the outside into shape. Or they must institutionalize them so they are no longer eye sores."

The parents in the show are the "ideal" parents of autism recovery books ( the ones who give up their lives so they can become parent therapists to their children) . The child's day is so over scheduled that my heart twists in compassion for the child ( and the parents )

I  resolve today to see if Floortime principles of following the child's lead can work with Floortime must-nots ( electronics ).
So we do the Wii Fit and I turn that into a bit of a Floortime Session- with a lot of back and forth interaction on where I should step and what I should do.
Then over dinner R wants to listen to some Classical Music  on his DVD -
I make that Floortimey too.
By asking him if I should sing or be quiet
When he says "Siduh" ( sing )
I am extra  silly and sing the tunes  in numbers ( example for Blue Danube its 12345.....1 2 3 4)
We do the Blue Danube,  the Four Seasons, some George Bizet in this way
And R is Entranced
Music and numbers in one heavenly concoction!
And keeps choosing different songs for me to "Siduh" ( Sing ) in "Burz"  Numbers
We have effortless Joint Attention, Back and Forth interaction.
We also have a great time
I am Magic Mum  this evening.
And it feels good

Kreativ Blogger

Thank you so much Trish for nominating me as cretive blogger at  "Another Piece of the Puzzle


For those of you who don’t know how these shameless bits of linky love work, here are the rules:

• You must thank the person who has given you the award.

• Copy the logo and place it on your blog.

• Link to the person who has nominated you for the award.

• Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.

• Nominate 7 other Kreativ Bloggers.

• Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.

• Leave a comment on which of the blogs to let them know they have been nominated.

Thank you so much Trish
 
7 things about me that you may find interesting
 
1. I wanted to be an environmentalist, but working in the forests with forest dwellers was not for me - I found after just 6 months of doing it
2. Love at first sight has played an important role in my life. My DH and I fell  in love with each other as soon as we met and decided we were to be together for the rest of our life as soon as we met( 15 years ago)
3. I never wanted children but as soon as i held R in my arms for the first time I was bessotted with him. A second deep relationship in an instant!
4. I enjoy vaccuming. I have 6 vaccuums -including a Dyson and a Roomba . Not including two hand helds. I am currently lusting for the latest Dyson
5.All children are amazing - but I am extra crazy about autistic children .
6.I am perpetually time starved and wishing for more time
9. I did not know how to drive for the first 26 years of my life
 
I love sooo many blogs so its hard to pass it to just 7 but here goes
 
3 running in circles- A mom with 3 kids on the spectrum. Extra amazing. Extra positive
Aspergers Syndrome Awareness- a mom with an older child with Aspergers. Practical. Funny.Determined
A celebration of our journey - Wonderful artistic homeschooling mama to a 6 year old. Is very much the ideal mama.
Maternal Instincts - A mom who I just love- devoted and charming mum to Nik
Sprout Light - A mum with a darling boy, a positive attitide and disarming honesty
Soapy Water - A super smart sweet and all around good human - - she takes care of her mum and her lil boy- you may know her from Hopeful Parents
Rachel and Mr Daddy - Once upon a Miracle - they are an amazing duo that will write post which touch your heart and posts that will make you laugh
 
I love so many other blogs Robin's blog, heather's,Against all odds, and sooo many more and  also another mom's blog with 2 adorable spectrum daughters but I think she is sort of trying to keep it private so i wont out her
 
 

Saturday, September 5, 2009

To look forward

SOOC SATURDAY

I never hide from my children when I am leaving the house “ one of my colleagues used to say when I was working in India” I tell them firmly – mummy is leaving now.. …what are you teaching your kids if you hide from them when you leave”
I always am impressed by people who say things firmly

Me?

I am a wiffler waffle! Always seeing things from a dozen different perspectives.

Everything in shades of grey.I envy the people who have the clarity of black and white
So I remembered what Meenakshi ( the colleague ) said many years before I even became a mother and vowed I would do the same

Many years later when I became a mum – a working traveling mum- I remembered this
So when I would leave for a trip out of town I would write down for R

“Mom go in Big Jet “

But it never had the effect I hoped for.
In fact on two consecutive trips – R actually got a fever when I was leaving.

So I stopped telling him

This past week I have been reading on Happiness( in the Happiness Project Blog)

One interesting observation that the author makes was on how important it is to look forward to things.

And to have things to look forward to.

This is certainly true in my life

My day is full of little treats.

The look of intense love on R’s face just before he pulls me close for a tight hug , unable to bear being apart for one more moment.

The happy dance he does when he sees me,

The feel of the crook of DH’s shoulder when I rest my head on it ( it always seems so wrong when people in movies. who are only acting, lie together with the wife’s head resting as though in a perfect fit on her fake-husband’s shoulder). Clearly one woman’s head should fit on only one man’s shoulder.
( Shouldermates! Like soulmates !)

The first sip of coffee.

Getting connected with all my virtual, satellite and real friends, Reading blogs and my readers’ comments,

Treats are strewn throughout my day

And truly thinking of all these treats to look forward to makes my days full of happiness

Thinking of this- the need to look forward to things – has made me change what I write out for R when I leave

For its not just important for him to know that

Monday – Mom Go in big Jet to Denver


But to also look forward to

Wednesday – when mama come home



This time he did not fall sick

For more SOOC images or to participate yourself - visit Melody at "Slurping Life "

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The week of August28

Boring Weekly update

Monday, Tuesday

I am in Denver. I get to meet a fellow blogging mom and its really delightful!
R hunts for me both evenings when his evening therapist comes – he hunts and weeps “Muther .. muther ..” on the phone and it twists like a knife in my heart.
Oh how desperately I miss this child !

Wednesday

On the plane ride home I watch the Pretend Play DVD by Greenspan.To my disappointment it contains nothing I dont know.That was a waste of 80 dollars!
Still I plan to finish it !
I am read" there is a boy in here" And again while the book is very good - I keep wishing I could have helped the mum and dad out with some advice - they are raising an Autistic child in the 1960's where there is no help or hope for Autism
I t gives me such a pang to think of parents of Autistic children in countries which are 30 years behind America and dont know how to help their children

I return in the evening. DH has told R that we will go to the airport and pick up mum – usually they meet me at the luggage carousel which is great fun for R as he is mad for airports.
But this time I have no luggage so we don’t stop. Its all too much for R who weeps and kicks copiously and points to the airports.
Ironically after having missed him so much this week – within 10 minutes of meeting him I am telling him to please behave himself ( through gritted teeth as well )
Once home he makes me do all the Wii exercises and I am so proud at all the things he is saying now .
We snuggle a bit. He is torn between his desire to sulk and his desire to fawn over me- so he hugs and kisses me. But he rejects the presents that I have – tossing the books I have eagerly purchased
Later in the evening he keeps clutching me and weeping .

I suppose there are two ways of looking at something you treasure – the joy of having it , or the fear of losing it .
Unfortunately he is in the latter camp this time.

I take a really lovely walk – the familiar is so lovely

The realtor sign “Charming 3 tier living” that has started to look tired and hopeless has the depressing sign “REDUCED” over it now . But I am glad to see it.

The couple with the dogs who fling themselves on me delightedly each time - do so today as they do everyday – while the owners apologize non-stop even though I have assured them each time that I truly enjoy this.

The smelly road ( it has had the same bad smell for the past 5 years) is just as smelly. In my more imaginative moments – I have imagined a murder mystery. No doubt if it was the younger K and her sister – we would have searched for clues and made up a fancy name for ourselves)

Thursday

Is an evening of OTHER work - I have to cook R's dinners . DH does a lot of recycling - It amazes me how much recycling we generate.
R's Speechie tells me something very interesting. When she writes down words for him he covers segments of it - so Tomato - is actually three segments - to ma to
And he covers the segments he is not saying to try and say the whole word
He is such a smart kid!
On the other hand now that some of his language is intelligible - (a lot of it is not) he is really pO'ed with me in the trampoline when I dont get what he he is saying !!Now he expects me to understand -He weeps copiously becasue I dont

Friday

I come home for lunch and find him lolling about on the bed like a Persian Cat.he flings himself on me at the unexpected joy

I eat lunch with DH sitting outside and its very nice - i really like my DH a lot - even after 15 years he is an interesting and fun person to chat with.

R is woebegone when I leave for work
I write down a long schedule for him - And he is reassured
Why do I keep forgetting to do this?

As I write this, DH and R go off to Heidi and while they are gone I plan to :

1. Gloat over some amazing kitchen shelves that he has made in the afternoon
2. Change sheets
3. Vaccum
4. And put out all the veg for chopping

We have some guests coming this weekend

Three of us were to give a bachelorette party for this friend who is getting married.
I am her maid of honor

But the two other girls who were giving the party with me - are also getting married in Sep and Oct respectively.- and are very busy!

So my friend who is a very thoughtful person said( pretended ) she did not want a bacehlorette party at all
I asked her to come out to us ( she is in Atlanta ) to spend the weekend with me and I will giver a pamered weekend

SO I am getting her

1. A full body aromatherapy massage
2. We are taking her and her fiancee to dinner- maybe a picnic on Sunday
3. Plus she loves a lot of things I cook ( we used to be roommates in grad school ) SO I will make all of those things - Bailey's Irish cream cheese cake, Red Velvet cupcakes with cheese frosting , Dal Makhani , Saag Paneer etc

Better get started

Floortime Lite Mama

On my life as the mother of an adorable 5 year old with Autism and Apraxia